Hedgecutter

Just checked Facebook - first post on my newsfeed:

I think Rigside is leading the way so far. I've got no doubt that there are rougher and more deprived areas but they're within cities and town where there's stuff to do. Rigside on the other hand is entirely a shitty council block in the middle of nowhere along the edge of the Southern Uplands with f*** all to do. Here is an actual extract from a property website where you can acquire a 3-bed house for only £70k: The settlement is masked by a row of the only modern houses in the area to make it look half decent to those bypassing Rigside on the main Ayr Road: However, this is the real standard with these buildings making up 95% of the place: Here is the city centre: For entertainment, children can be kept occupied in 'the pit': ... while the older generations can hang about the post-box for a chat, sharing stories from 'doon the pit': There are also usually a couple of BYOB parties, quite often during the day to pass the time: Don't all rush at once...

Database

It's an Auchentoshan this evening. In a light mood. Got a bottle of Hobgoblin to accompany it too.

It's a travesty that VisitScotland advertise the Fort William to Mallaig train journey as being the best in the world yet don't give this a mention.

Queen Anne took in folk from Valleyfield / Blairhall / Oakley and then there was Woodmill High which took in everyone from Abbeyview who wasn't Catholic at St Columbas HS. Nane o' this class-based education in Dunfermline, eh?! Let's add Abbeyview to this whole list actually. I used to work up on the north coast and met this family whilst doing a tour. I asked the family where they were from and the wee kid immediately jumped in and shouted "Abbeyview!". Not Dunfermline, but very specifically Abbeyview. The parents were suprised I knew where they were talking about. The guy I worked with by chance also came from Abbeyview before moving to become an electronic goods smuggler between Goa and Jakarta (probably a big improvement). One of his old mates came up with his son and we enjoyed a big slap up meal with stuff he'd brought up, no expense spared. This seemed a bit odd to me before I found out that this guy was due in court in a couple of days time for kicking a guy to near-death and he knew he was going down for it, hence getting in some last quality time with his son. Seemed like a nice chap too! There's also the Trondheim Parkway story: Dunfermline's been twinned with Trondheim for a few hundred years and the local councillor thought he could get a jolly to Norway out of this by 'reviving' the auld relationship. He got wined and dined over there and then invited the other lot over to Dunfermline to cut the ribbon on a new street in Abbeyview called 'Trondheim Parkway'. The Norwegians were rather angry and unimpressed when they turned up to find a shithole which has since been flattened.

A mate and I once got chased away from a park next to High Valleyfield by youths with a baseball bat when I was younger. We were on bikes so we just cycled away in the opposite direction at a rather fast rate. I had the misfortune of having to get the Valleyfield school bus through to Dunfermline every morning when I was at High School (I stayed about 2-3 miles away from both). Thankfully most of them got on first so they just went to the back of the top deck and fought amongst themselves. It wasn't unknown for the whole bus to get called to an assembly after drugs had been found or somebody went off telling the headteacher about dodgy goings on and these were kids no older than S4. In my entire year, only one guy from 'The Valley' went on to do any Highers so most folk on the bus weren't fully mature neds, just little minks setting out to get the 'no qualifications' or 'expelled' badge of honour. I can also only think of one person from Oakley (an Ethioaklian) who went on to do any Highers. This was in one of Scotland's largest High Schools btw so between the two villages giving a combined population of >7000 people, two kids studied for Highers in my year. Others wouldn't have been much different. It amazes me that Valleyfield's only a mile away from Culross, one of Fife's nicest little villages and Low Valleyfield immediately below it is also rather pleasant. Then again, it was a mining village - population <3000 with an average workforce of 980 at the local pit which was closed in 1978. There's also a strong rumour that the lyrics to 'Into the Valley' by the Skids (fae Dunfermline of course) were all about gangs heading into Valleyfield to pick a fight. The Young Oakley Boys (aptly shortened to YOB) vs the Valley Boys were always colourful encounters I'm led to believe.

It was Keith. A memorable 10-1 hammering too. Alec Cleland got a hat-trick! I've been to Kynoch Park a few times and there's no way it meets any standards. It's still a simple barrier around a pitch but with a wooden main stand and a covered terrace at the opposite side. The rest is just grass and gravel. There's also no tunnel or barrier between the dugout and the stand giving no protection for players or officials. Great for standing next to the dugout though - you get to hear some cracking lines!

So when are the 11 other clubs going to get around to blowing this 11-1 rule out of the water then? This would be the obvious thing to sort out first I would have thought if they're bleating on about how money's going to be tight?

I agree in principal, although they'll just try and acquire tickets for the home end and potentially stir up more trouble that way. Anyway, it's not happening... and I presume this is what you originally meant:

Shame I've already got holidays planned up north next week. I was rather looking forward to a couple of thousand drunken thugs invading all of the pubs and singing tedious pish like "no one likes us, we don't care".

Source? This mornings release on the Brechin website: I like the way they stuck the word 'Brechin' in there just to crush any other theories.

Teletext

When you wander into the toilets, there's a guy in the other cubicle obviously doing a shite, you go for a piss, he finishes up and flushes toilet, you happen to flush seconds afterwards and the guy runs straight out in a hurry to avoid being recognised, not washing his hands in the process. Dirty f***ing minks. Also, quickly proof reading a post on here, only to submit it and then spot a glaring obvious mistake almost straight away. I'm going to guess at least half my posts have an edited note at the bottom. It's the same when you print something to hard copy.

A lot of the time I wonder if people are just lazy at typing and see it as semi-acceptable to do so on here / Facebook or whether this country is full of people who can't read / write good. I'm guessing the latter. Another pet hate (passed down from my grandfather I guess) is when people say the likes of "Me and John" rather than "John and I"

My Runrig t-shirt from Heb Fest a couple of years ago is usually a hit with the ladies... I think.

I've lived around the corner from the 524 Cocktail Bar for about 5 years and have never been in. The two big 'scary' Alsations permanently sitting outside the entrance seem nice enough though! I was just about to say, where the hell are the fully grown dogs in that image and then I moved one image up the road to find this. They've obviously been there for a while:

Confuse

People that do... ...this

So depressing they put in the world's most pointless roundabout as a 'feature'

So the Sunday Mail will still be sticking to their half a page (if that) a week quota for the Third Division reports, right?

Better make sure Sevco don't come after him. He was still a good part-time level defender when you pinched him from us!

Many Dons fans I hear seem to think they have a really good chance of finishing 2nd this season!

And so despite the best efforts of those at the top trying to control everything just to keep the 'product' going and the money flowing... BANG!

Riiiiight... so are Brechin getting Sevco in the first round of the regionalised Challenge Cup cup then?