One that sticks with me from way back is the phrase Mclean, Reggie Perrin's chef, used to use: "Up yer clunge!"
Alternatively,
Wee sacs; toalie bum; DOB; glaikit.
Ten points to the person who introduced the phrase 'chutney ferret'.
Does anyone else ever get pissed off at cold callers who give you their spiel and start calling you 'mate'? That's up there with neddy shellsuit scum playing their munchkin techno crap on the bus.