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That is superb. Should have got a few toblerones and a Terry's chocolate orange with some superficial damage to the box.

That is a cracking idea! One of the crew has driven down from Dundee in his bare feet. The chances are he'll have a panic attack after 'Basic Alan' and take my cereals out and destroy them, whilst spraying the side of the house with Sunny D. He's a mentalist.

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A couple of my pals are coming round tonight to watch every episode of Alan Partridge. We've got The Day Today, KMKYWAP and Series 1&2. We also have 24 cans of John Smith's.

SPICE WORLD!

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Since when did all pub become able to afford sky?

I think its legal for pubs to show football matches which are broadcasted abroad. I've been in a couple of pubs which have shown matches from Sky Italia - meaning they don't have to pay for sky.

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Swag

[Horrific club photos]

Not really horrific, but probably the most relevant place to put this

Its Leigh Griffiths at Club Earth in Livingston!