BFTD

Hate oxtail soup. Oxtail in the slow cooker with some kidneys and other entrails? Wid, for every meal, oh yes indeed. Can't have it too often as it's very fattening and I don't want to end up like a beached whale. Wait, hold on...

Surprised he's not riding high in the Thank Your w**k charts, TBH. Edit: w**k is censored? It's not even considered a curse word in America! Does anyone have a list of the words censored by P&B? Would be interesting to know if there are any more anomalies like Div's opinion of John McVeigh

How bizarre. I'll get in before anyone else and assume the band wasn't Lostprophets. I'd assume they've all moved onto darknets these days, like back in the pre-Internet days when they had their closed mailing lists and would swap...stuff...between each other. I'm aware that the word "BEAST" is moving quickly in my direction, but I assure you all that my eyes have thankfully remained unsullied by images of child abuse. There are some good documentaries about these people around. Forewarned is forearmed, and all that.

Depends on your political views on whether you'd find the Washington Post dodgy I don't understand people and the things they do, so I'm always interested in the kind of scumbaggery they get up to. Can't say it's terribly enjoyable, but it's a compulsion.

In fairness, he's probably not used to performing in front of people. Had no idea that it was Oscar time; I'm such a hermit. Still...Julianne

Seething too much to read the rest because I missed Pancake Day again

Boaby.

Give this a read: http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/10/16/john-grisham-says-sentencing-for-child-porn-offenders-is-too-harsh-they-arent-real-pedophiles/ Incidentally, I'm something of a connoisseur of the more unpleasant side of the Internet; the nastier side of human nature is something that fascinates me a wee bit. However, in almost two decades online, I've never seen, nor found myself presented with the opportunity to see, child pornography. The excuse that this is something you can accidentally stumble upon is pathetic. Either you've looked for it, or someone's sent it to you.

I spent the first half of the film thinking he was called Neil, and even wondered why he'd chosen such a dull handle for himself

There are plenty of babies who've been involved in porn from the inside. Not even pregnancy is enough to stop some lassies being poked with a big strange wang. Is this register a lifetime thing, or do we get time off for good behaviour?

Didn't exactly take it very well, did she? Wonder if she's been skelped for talking about herself too much in the past.

Get out, and take your sister with you.

I've known lassies who could use that as a bath!

You'll be sick of it by Wednesday. Anyway, where's the faaacking poineappaw?

You're thinking about Birmingham, but I'll stick some on and think of you.

The very one. When the drunken wasters are crawling past our bit at 3am screaming gibberish, I assume that this is what they're all going home to - quasi-homoerotic sex with a deeply unsatisfied wee lassie. Bless.

Always forget she's in the film TBH. MacLeod's definitely settling by that point. Would even prefer Candy.

I hear good things about The Scottish Loveknot. Also, try googling "Scottish Ned Threesome" for a cracking comedy horror. Otherwise, The Big Man was decent, with the Big Yin and Liam Neeson, and there's always that Hollywood Scottish Cup film, whatever it was. Never saw it.

Basic Instinct 2 was the first movie I took my son to. He didn't seem to enjoy it much, but he was swimming around in his maw's tummy at the time

I'd have taken Jeanne Tripplehorn, personally. Good lord, yes. Avoid Basic Instinct 2, by the way. Saw it in the cinema, and much later on DVD, and I swear they did some serious CGI on Ms Stone's body between releases. She looked like Frankenstein's fucking Monster on the big screen.

Give us some good news, auld yin. Surely there must be something to compensate?

I liked her too, but she was far too nice. Celia was pure filth. You could see the desire in her eyes despite her man being Satan's zombie slave. To hell with it, I'll take them both. A fun night's dreaming awaits

I'd have boinked the hysterical right out of Celia Imrie. Ooft. Just how I like my women; busty, and angrily accusing me of being in league with the devil

Sportsound being incapable of reporting accurate tables, despite the official Beeb website managing to do OK. They keep forgetting that Livi have a points deduction, and are determined that we're a point behind Cowden now. This shit it not hard; look it up on your own website FFS.