BFTD

I bought the first DVD box set, and they almost immediately afterward released the Quadrilogy thing with the Director's Cuts and suchlike. This was me:

The Zimbabwean economy, naturally.

"Wow, he looks just like Terry down in Accounts!" (substitute Terry for whoever mummy was rumoured to have got frisky with at an office party. There's always someone) Bonus points if Daddy is present at the time.

How bad? I have a note here and something that isn't going to suck itself...

Admit it, Keith; you had a wee "YASSS!" to yourself after he left I got the boot once from a laddie who literally hid behind the HR lassie he asked to do it. I'm an absolute ray of sunshine, so I can only assume this is a common thing!

Automatically assumed it was a new release of Alien, which would've been definitely understandable. If Blade Runner's your thing, keep buying them and make yourself a fort out of boxsets to watch it from

Let everyone in - it'd be nice to have a bit more musical variety. Everyone would probably still play the same drab techno anyway

Apparently it's growing in popularity in the States too... Be nice if the Aussies did something a bit different to the usual bland Europop that plagues the competition. Although I'm guessing a "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport" style humiliation is likely, complete with cork hats and guest appearance from Crocodile Dundee. I do love me some Eurovision

You do know that her exes don't get royalties from the bitchfests she writes about them, don't you?

...and made sure to put videos about it up on the Internet. Aye, quite the altruist. Really not surprised that she'd be the type to use that phrase. Is it true that she trademarked the term 'sick beats'? Of all the people to associate themselves with that phrase

Pacific Rim - was a bit disappointed by this on first viewing, but it was more enjoyable this time. It's just a big dumb effects cartoon about non-transforming Transformers fighting Godzilla's buddies, but it's still more entertaining than most big CGI blockbusters. A bit silly and occasionally cheesy, but it could've been a lot worse. There are also a lot of little things that will be of interest to gamers, including the voice of GLaDOS as the robot AI, which has the unfortunate side effect of making you realise how much more awesome it would be to be watching a Portal movie

Reminds me of this lassie. Not a fan of her either.

£38

Starting to think I'm being whooshed with this Swift stuff now. This is like back in the '80s, when you'd get young laddies proclaiming their love for Kylie Minogue, even though they just wanted into her pants. (this is before she started doing decent music, naturally)

Edge of Darkness - IIRC, Mel Gibson's last film before being outed as a massive racist and conspiracy theorist. Decent murder-mystery conspiracy drama, with Mel tracking down his daughter's killer. Ray Winstone does a pleasantly subdued turn as a shadowy intelligence agent hired to keep tabs on Mel's progress. Held together nicely by the two leads, and a plethora of faces you'll recognise. Not a classic, but definitely worth watching.

Is spunking on lassie's faces a common thing now? Looks like it'd be fucking rank to endure; kind of thing you'd only do to someone you didn't like much in the first place.

Well, duh, Captain Obvious

"Lightly soiled", I think is the term.

Aye, but you'd have parts dropping off at your age.

Surely the porn industry has come up with a Swiftalike for you laddies by now? Having to listen to her to get off just seems cruel and unusual punishment. Someone needs to start a support group.

I had to wear a Bluetooth earpiece back when they were a new thing because I worked IT Support while doing my normal job, and my mobile would ring every five minutes while my hands were deep within the guts of a server rack, or something similar. If I let the call drop, they'd all immediately phone my boss instead, which was about as popular as if I'd taken a shite on his desk. If I'd stopped working to take the call, I'd never had got my real work done. Anyway, they all thought I was terribly pretentious for wearing the aforementioned monstrosity, and liked to bring it up whenever possible. Try not calling me every five minutes to ask why you've been blocked from installing a new trojan-riddled search bar then. c***s.

Better be careful, Gaz - one of the wee b*****ds will out you to the head, and it's a short ride from there to having a decade's worth of posts analysed for dodgy content

That kind of thing is apparently incredibly difficult to pull off, as evidenced by the annual RoboCup, which is simultaneously boring and hilarious (and all over YouTube, for those interested). Disturbingly, it is quite distressing when the soulless automaton gets booted Here's Asimo on QI:

Who do you suppose he posts as?

I'm fully aware that Microsoft are spying on me through the wean's Kinect. How else would YouTube know which older gay men in my area I'd like to be matched up with?