Colbert
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Posts posted by Colbert
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This thread reminds me of a night in a pub in Norwich a couple of years ago. Sky Sports News was on the TV and had the results from the Scottish Cup 1st round scrolling along the bottom. The guys we were with thought we were taking the piss when we told them that teams like Hawick Royal Albert and Civil Service Strollers did actually exist and weren't just a wind-up.
My favourites are all names which have an industrial link. They're not the most romantic names, but there is something to be said for maintaining the link to the team's history:
3) Forres Mechanics
2) Burntisland Shipyard
1) Inverurie Loco Works
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Marmite is a class B drug in Bolivia.
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Willie Miller- Just find him a pedantic tosser. Summed up at the weekend in that he had no clue about teams in the lower leagues (other than the Big 3). And the taxpayer subsidises this man to be a pundit on national radio?
That bit did annoy me. Nobody's expecting an encyclopaedic knowledge of East Stirlingshire's summer transfers, but surely it's not too much to expect people paid to talk about the game to have some idea of what's going on in the lower divisions?
The rest of them aren't that bad though. Yes, they've all got their bad habits and there are some things which are annoying, but it's still a far better show than the alternatives. I've spent a few Saturday afternoons listening to Forth 1's attempt at football coverage, and I'd take the BBC over that any day.
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People who start sentences with "I'm sorry, but...". No you're not, you're trying to pre-emptively avoid looking like a dick if people don't agree with you. Particularly relevant today given the dissection of the opening ceremony going on around the internet. My facebook feed seems to have turned into one big competition to see who can come up with the most irrelevant criticism of it, with every other sentence starting "I'm sorry, but..."
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Also the job diary is a bag of shit as you can just make it up. You might have to to make it look like you've done enough if you've applied for every job you can and you're waiting yo see new ones.
I spent the second half of 2011 unemployed, worst six months of my life. That diary took the piss though. Depending on which advisor I saw, they either understood that I was taking the time to submit decent applications for graduate-level jobs or had a go at me for not applying for one of the identikit commission-based door-to-door/telesales jobs they were advertising in the job centre. Towards the end of my time signing on when cash was getting a bit tight I started looking at them, but only because it was coming up to Christmas and I needed the money.
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There's a Mrs Browns Boys film apparently.
FFS
Saw the trailer a couple of weeks ago, looks like an utter abomination. Tempted to set fire to the cinema as a public service.
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The cleaner at the gym I use who has no sense of personal space. I've lost count of the number of times I've accidentally elbowed him because he's wandered up behind me when I'm using a machine and I haven't realised. Even given that hint that he's standing a bit too close, there's no chance of him moving. On the plus side we're into summer now, which means a few weeks break from his monologues on how Rangers did at the weekend/Rangers chances on Saturday (he tends to switch between the two on a Thursday morning).
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I've drank Lucozade before paying for it after a night out before. It's not something I would do regularly but if you are asking for customers to be chucked out for that your customer service skills are obviously appalling.
Depends how far they go, really. When I worked at Tesco I often had people coming through my till with open boxes of biscuits, etc and it was never a problem. On the other hand, I caught a couple of folk eating stuff and trying to stash the wrappers in a different part of the shop - that's taking it too far.
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Local bye-laws make it illegal to wear jeans on a Sunday in Oxford.
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In his student days, David Cameron was a fledgling stand-up comic. After an unfortunate incident involving a heckler and a carrot at a gig in Plymouth, he decided politics was a less traumatic career path.
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The Pope is a qualified plumber.
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Uruguayan state TV is currently filming a reboot of Happy Days. The studios are located in the town of Aaaayyyy Bentos.
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People haggling. It was on Gumtree for £50 and when I phoned in reply to your vowel-free text you agreed to £50. Don't start haggling after that, especially after I've taken the bus into town to meet you somewhere that suits you.
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The whole of Niddrie St. is pretty bad, tbf. I was at a party at a flat above Hive at Hogmanay and the whole street
looked like a teenage version of the Somme.
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In the medieval times, prostitutes often attracted trade by shouting "two holes for one florin!".
A practice which continues to this day in Wester Hailes.
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Lies, scandalous lies.
It's the most sensible route in the entire fleet as thousands of people need to get from QMU to Heriot Watt, via Edinburgh Uni and Napier twice, every hour
The irony is that within an hour of posting I was on a 45 going from Heriot-Watt to a meeting at Edinburgh. It must have been my subconcious winding me up when I picked that route.
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The number 45 bus service in Edinburgh doesn't actually stop anywhere. It started as a practical joke but an executive at Lothian buses took it seriously, and now they have to pay people to pretend to be passengers just to maintain the charade.
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There is an area of land on the east coast of India which was previously owned by one of Queen Victoria's children. He lost it to a foreign digniatary in 1895, who declared it part of his own country's empire. To this day, the town which was built on it is technically part of Belgium.
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As a teenager, Hermann Göering played right-back for Hertha Berlin under-19s.
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Darvel v Aberdeen 23rd Jan Live on BBC
in Domestic Cup Football
Posted
Haven't posted in years but still been lurking, love it when there's a match thread like this. Can't complain about being in the receiving end tonight though, we were absolutely fucking shite.