fuzzydunlop
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Posts posted by fuzzydunlop
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had our post xmas meal last night. Revisiting a curry house we'd been to a few years previous. Even though i had been there the last time I had missed the funny moment when one of the guys was talking about the Chilli Paneer he ordered, and refered to it as Chilli Vaneer....
So during the meeting during the day, talk turns to the place we are going:
"remember richard, when you had your chilli VANEER"
Then its explained to the people that hadn't been there last time that this bloke had said Vaneer in stead of Paneer....
then, as we were finishing the meeting some cad come out with "cant wait for some chilli VANEER tonight"....ok yep get the picture...
then in the pub before the meal..someone comes out with "hope they have some chilli VANEER on the menu"
then in the place folk looking at the menu, about three of them, at differnet times say "might have the chilli VANEER"
I mean it wasnt funny the first time but table laughing every time its mentioned. I'm sat thinking if i had machine gun then they'd all get it.
Told the wife about it when i got home..she responded with "jeez, let folk have a laugh you grumpy c*nt" . Guess I just wasnt made for these times.
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On 27/01/2020 at 22:31, Hillonearth said:
You can almost pinpoint where the Ken Zone begins in some areas....punters from Shotts have got a definite Lanarkshire accent and will say "know", but in Fauldhouse two or three miles east we're generally into Ken territory.
The distinctness of accents increases the further you get from the city - accents in the likes of EK, Motherwell and Hamilton are more or less indistinguishable from Glaswegian maybe the odd local word excepted, but once you get out to the likes of Lanark itself it sounds a lot different.
Likewise, folk from north Ayrshire towns like Kilwinning and Kilbirnie essentially sound like slightly countrified Glaswegians, but once you get into the East Ayrshire hinterland it becomes a bit more exotic...
"Open yir een ref and book the number seeven...."
aye, my grandparents lived in Lanark...we were from Falkirk. Anytime we went to visit I go out to play football with my cousin who lived there and I had no idea what a lot of folk were saying. One that sticks out was calling a car a .. "corrrr", that really used to confuse me..
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i have a feeling this has probably been mentioned, but those f*cking Dacia adverts inbetween the programmes on Dave drive me nuts. I get more and more wound up about them as time goes on about how utter sh*te they are. Plus they've been on for ages now, surely its time to change them.
To make matters worse I mentioned this to my mate the other day and he sent me a link to the "creative company" behind the adverts...onthe page it states:
"Jellygun’s MD took the creative reins on a series of indents for DAVE. Featuring the Dacia car having issues with some real ‘smutty’ road and place names from around the UK, our hero cars try to protect the viewers from this low grade humour. The DAVE audience deserve better ‘quality comedy’ on DAVE."
So that was the thought process behind it? Some c*nt probbaly got paid thousands for that.
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Livi fans heard this?...Livi get a mention at 1.57.. not sure if theres many other tunes that mention yer team? Bon Jovi maybe 'Livi on a Prayer'.(sorry)
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Just catching up on thsi thread..surpsied theres been no mention of the Michael Kiwanuka album. Its phenomenal..mix of isaac hayes 70s soul, laurel canyon-esque folk, Hedrix/Eddie Hazell guitar...an album I've listened straight through over and over which is saying something these days.
For those of your Scottish indie, based up in Fort William, 'Paper Machine Music' album 'Glimpse' is ace..touches of Radiohead, experimental, Sonic Youth, and good earnest tunes..definitely worth a listen.. came in at no.14 in the Scottish albums of the year on Jockrock..ok maybe not that much of accolade but really is worth checking out..
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5 hours ago, UsedToGoToCentralPark said:
This is tremendous
wow! that is something else! brilliant.
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this has happened a few times recently and appreciate i'm probably echoing stuff said already. Its always annoying when you put a film on and she sits on her phone all the way through it then asks questions.
However i've had this recently....
Me -Ok are you ready to put this film on
her - yep
Me - Sure? any messages you need to repsond to first?
Her -No - (but still on her phone)
Me -ok, i'll put it on (film starts)
then a couple of films we've watched recently that have had bit of a worded introduction on the screen giving you a background or setting the scene or whatever.
I read it, glance over and shes got her head in her phone.
Me -Did you see that? Bit giving some info on the film and characters, setting the scene?
Her - Oh no sorry, can you just skip back
Me - for fux sake....
sorry, happened twice in one week so i'm still fuming!
One of my mates has a 'pact' with his wife that mobile phones are turned off and put on the shelf when they put a film on...shit that its come to this!
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4 minutes ago, craigkillie said:
I didn't say posh families, I said posh people AND families. I lived across the road from Murrayfield for three years and know exactly the type of people who used to swarm into the area when Scotland were playing - lots of tweed jackets and blazers and tons of folk with kids in tow. Working class people are absolutely not attending Murrayfield in their droves for a rugby international in the way that they do for Scotland football games.
I also didn't say that I didn't want any particular set of fans, I said that I didn't think that was the overall audience the SFA want to be attracting - they should be targeting existing club fans. I am not convinced that a large chunk of that rugby crowd would ever want to set foot in Hampden for a Scotland international.
whit, are you trying to tell me Begbie and Co dont head down to Murrayfield for abit of the rugger?...now that would be a Trainspotting scene I'd like to have seen..
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probably a good time to bring back this old favourite but happened at lunchtime and I've only just calmed down.
in Sainsburys near work, big f*ck off queues everywhere.
Oldish wife in front of me, gets her shopping put through the scanner, watches it all go through as her husband packs it away, so potential for her to get the payment method ready but no...she waits til shes given the amount she needs to pay.
Then rummages through bag for purse...
then rumages through purse for nectar card.
gets that scanned then carefuly puts it back into the correct slot in her purse
then rummages through purse for bank card.
this then takes ages...
then gets receipt and rummages through purse to put receipt in a specific slot
then puts purse away.
Something that could have taken 30 seconds tops ends up taking 5 minuets...no wonder theres f*cking queues everywhere...
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I continued my xmas tradition of watching the Paul Calf Video Diaries yesterday. Probably hasnt aged as well to some but I still love it..so many great lines in it...
Even some of the smaller bits...ended up texting my mate the words "lesbian fruit" and he said he got the giggles in the middle of Aldi and had to go out outside for fresh air.
But the wife watched it for the first time since it came out and couldnt understand why I still bother.
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1 hour ago, Sergeant Wilson said:
I think it's the very least of your worries.
aye? sounds bit menacing mate, you hanging round the bins oot the back again?
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On 13/11/2019 at 21:40, Busta Nut said:
I haven't played this online at all but from the odd thing I see I take it they are doing what they did with GTA V and whoring the online stuff for about 5 years??
Yeah i think so.
I'm not much of a gamer, in fact its really the GTA series, FIFA and Read Dead that I've bothered with. In fact only really bought a PS4 for Read Dead Redemtion 2.
Anyway, absolulety loved RDR2 so after completing I thought I'd give the online version a go. I've never really bothered with online stuff before, mainly because I ended up getting killed over and over by some wee fannies from the States when I tried it on RDR1 as I had no idea what I was doing.
However I've really got into the online version of RDR2. First of all you dont need to get involved in dealing with other folk if you dont want to..theres essentially tons of additional characters and missions you can do on your own. Theres also a really cool Bounty Hunter side missions where you have to find certain criminals. Theres a cracking one in the swamp where alligators basically chase you.
You do get invited to online games from time to time by other players which you can decline - and although I was f*cking rubbish at them initially I started getting better. So yeah, if you enjoyed the main story aprt of the game and want more of the same, the online part is worth a go.
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On 19/12/2019 at 19:38, MSU said:
I thought it was a pretty good manhunt type documentary. The home sleuths were great. There are a couple of points that weren’t really addressed that bother me, but otherwise I thought the reveal in the third episode was done well.
watched it yesterday and agree. Found it very harrowing and certainly killed my pre-xmas joy. I subsequently had some quite disturbing dreams last night. I did find the whole thing mental. And I agree the reveal was really well done.
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i love xmas..from about the 15th Dec right through to the day itself....
but does anyone else have the thing when the clock ticks over from xmas day to boxing day then thats it..enough.
I dont go as far as some as my neighbours who although they put their tree up mid November, all the decorations come down Boxing Day. But from Boxing Day onwards I cant watch any xmas films, or dont want to listen to the xmas tunes that 24 hours before I was singing along to. Strange behaviour from me admitedly. I think it stems from childhood trauma when i got taken to a Pantomime in January. Just didnt seem right...
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20 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:
It's not as bad as Fuzzy's story.
in fairness I wasnt claiming mine to be a funny or entertaining story. Just bemoaning the curse of Secret Santa thats followed me around. You'd love my stories, honestly you would..
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On 19/12/2019 at 13:40, fuzzydunlop said:
aye loada sh*te.
I've moved jobs so thankfully dont have this pish this year -after 10 years of it.
The lassies in the office would start talking about it in September. They would then draw names out the hat in october so people had enough time.. Once names were drawn they'd basically then ask each other who they had, which defeats the whole f*cking point. They'd then work out who everyone else had.
My fave moment though came when we got a new Director in the company. As he lived in our depots area they built him a brand new office at the end of our offices corridor. So everytime he came in he had to walk through our office to get to his. One of the girls decided to ask him one day in front of everyone if he wanted to get involved in the Secret Santa this year. He didnt seem overly pleased but as a new guy I could tell he didnt want to let the side down so he agreed. I'm sure you can imagine the type of lassie who asked, the big mouth one who thinks everyone likes her. She even wallowed in some sort of self congratulatory mode afterwards that shes managed to persuade the Director to join in.
As normal, once the names were drawn out it didnt take them long to work out who ahd who. Turns out the Director had to buy a present for a girl in the team - Another pain in the arse. Once she worked it out, she was well chuffed thinking that although there was a £10 limit, as Director he would no doubt splash out on something more than £10 and something good. For the following weeks leading upto xmas she was subject to either lots of "aw thats amazing" from the other girls to "thats not fair, what a b*tch" when her back was turned.
Once xmas eve came along and the 'secret' presents were given out all eyes turned to this girl as she opened hers....a jar of hand cream! I couldnt contain my laughter. The lassie opened her desk drawer, threw it in and then slammed it shut and was in a mood for the rest of the day. Not sure if she was expecting a Tiffany ring or something but its crazy how some folks minds work.
well talk about karma coming back to bite me....
I posted the above at 13.40 yesterday. At 3pm my boss comes in to see me. We have a potential new customer who's current supplier has let them down. He needs me to drive 3 hours in the morning(today) to Warrington to sit in this customers office taking enquiries. As this was a job I did previously and no one else available my boss has put my name forward. Obviously he did it in the only way he could:
"do you have anything planned tomorrow, meetings or anything?"
"no"
"ok we need you to go to this customer for the day"
"ok"
Then I get the full story and cant make an excuse....
I had planned an easy day today, with a sneaky early finish.... but instead I left the house at 5.30am this morning to drive to Warrington. I'm now sitting in a spare desk amongst 40 office staff I've never met before, they are all in xmas jumpers(i'm in a suit) with the xmas tunes blaring.
But the icing on the cake is each section of this big office is individual teams of maybe 8-10..and yep, each section is having their Secret Santa today. So I've had to sit in the middle of it like a f*cking dickhead as they've exchanged presents around me.
I'll be here til 5pm then got to face the M6 on one of the busiest road days of the year. Will service me right for laughing at folk getting sh*t Secret santa gifts.
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On 17/12/2019 at 15:45, Florentine_Pogen said:
aye loada sh*te.
I've moved jobs so thankfully dont have this pish this year -after 10 years of it.
The lassies in the office would start talking about it in September. They would then draw names out the hat in october so people had enough time.. Once names were drawn they'd basically then ask each other who they had, which defeats the whole f*cking point. They'd then work out who everyone else had.
My fave moment though came when we got a new Director in the company. As he lived in our depots area they built him a brand new office at the end of our offices corridor. So everytime he came in he had to walk through our office to get to his. One of the girls decided to ask him one day in front of everyone if he wanted to get involved in the Secret Santa this year. He didnt seem overly pleased but as a new guy I could tell he didnt want to let the side down so he agreed. I'm sure you can imagine the type of lassie who asked, the big mouth one who thinks everyone likes her. She even wallowed in some sort of self congratulatory mode afterwards that shes managed to persuade the Director to join in.
As normal, once the names were drawn out it didnt take them long to work out who ahd who. Turns out the Director had to buy a present for a girl in the team - Another pain in the arse. Once she worked it out, she was well chuffed thinking that although there was a £10 limit, as Director he would no doubt splash out on something more than £10 and something good. For the following weeks leading upto xmas she was subject to either lots of "aw thats amazing" from the other girls to "thats not fair, what a b*tch" when her back was turned.
Once xmas eve came along and the 'secret' presents were given out all eyes turned to this girl as she opened hers....a jar of hand cream! I couldnt contain my laughter. The lassie opened her desk drawer, threw it in and then slammed it shut and was in a mood for the rest of the day. Not sure if she was expecting a Tiffany ring or something but its crazy how some folks minds work.
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19 minutes ago, bairnsaloud said:
Things written down always appear more dramatic. You miss the nuances of speech and tones of voice.
I’d never seen him before. He admitted at the start that he was very nervous by taking over the job but came across as the evening went on as capable and realistic of our position.
The general feeling of many at the end was that we were happier when we left than when we arrived.But surely, its not fcking rocket science when dealing with football fans, in the situation the club are in and have been for sometime, he could have missed the part out about fans behaviour being unacceptable? Accepted the club needs improving at boardroom level and admit the problems and look to the future without mentioning the fans perceived issues The only outcome of saying something like that would be to further twist the knife in and make things worse. Deans would have been much better not saying f-all about it and moving on. Its like that classic childish thing in an argument when you agree to disagree then someone has to get the final word in...just then stirs up everything again. I just dont see what he had to gain by saying it or how he thought it wouldnt get the reaction it has done.
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6 hours ago, Gaz FFC said:
I thought people only went or the gym to tell FB they're at the gym?
You mean people actually go and workout?
aye or at my work theres seems to be a regular round robin of folk who:
Start of talking about joining the gym
then tell you they are going to the gym
tell you they've been to the gym
tell you that you should go the gym
try to get you to join their gym
this goes on for a few weeks, every fcking day..
it then goes quiet
so you ask "how the gym going?"
"aw can't be ars*d any more".."too dark at night", "work is too busy" etc etc
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21 minutes ago, fuzzydunlop said:
I do know what you are saying.
I remember being at a game at FFS a few years ago against Raith. I just remember sitting thinking back in the day, even if the game was crap, we'd at least have a bit of banter with the Raith fans, but it ended up being Mark Stewart who got the abuse. I've never been one to start a song, but will join in. However it was pretty lacklustre. I do remember gaems at Brockville that were sh*t but you then turned some of your attention to singing about how sh*t the other town was. Some people might not think thats what football should be about but it certainly made it more interesting.
Obviously it would be great if every week the Falkirk faithful turned up and sang and created an atmosphere but i think our stadium doesnt make that easy even if we wanted to. I'm under no illuison again that back in the Brockville days when there was maybe a core of 100-150 who created the noise it probably wasnt as loud as I remember it. However I'll never forget the goosebumps when the main stand would start singing, "come on ye bairns" then round to Hope Street joining in and then the choir would join in... jumpers for goalposts hmmmm
However I do agree. When morale and faith in the club at all levels is low then folk can't be f8cked -and its been that way for some time now so that doesn't help at all. Said in a previous post we really need a 'hero' at the club more than ever..someone on the park who can get us on our feet and something to shout about...and until then I fear as you say it doesn't matter where we are playing, the atmosphere will be sh*te.
sorry I came onto this thread on the back of reading the Best 11 of the Decade thread, and although it was nice to reminisce it just made things worse comparing those players to what we have now! Not good for a Monday..
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2 hours ago, The Moonster said:
My point is about the stadiums though, they seem to be the only buildings that have this requirement for "soul" and "character". I just don't understand it - others say they do understand it, fair enough, but I'm yet to be convinced of it.
Fill TFS for a game against Hibs or Rangers and you'll obviously get a crowd who are up for it from the get go and you'll get a great atmosphere. 2-3,000 who have showed up expecting a routine victory over Dumbarton won't ever give you the same atmosphere. If Falkirk were pissing this league by 10 points right now I suspect your atmosphere would be great, as it is you've struggled through 2 or 3 seasons, your fans are very apathetic and looking for major change at the club. Having terracing or being at Brockville wouldn't change that atmosphere.
I do know what you are saying.
I remember being at a game at FFS a few years ago against Raith. I just remember sitting thinking back in the day, even if the game was crap, we'd at least have a bit of banter with the Raith fans, but it ended up being Mark Stewart who got the abuse. I've never been one to start a song, but will join in. However it was pretty lacklustre. I do remember gaems at Brockville that were sh*t but you then turned some of your attention to singing about how sh*t the other town was. Some people might not think thats what football should be about but it certainly made it more interesting.
Obviously it would be great if every week the Falkirk faithful turned up and sang and created an atmosphere but i think our stadium doesnt make that easy even if we wanted to. I'm under no illuison again that back in the Brockville days when there was maybe a core of 100-150 who created the noise it probably wasnt as loud as I remember it. However I'll never forget the goosebumps when the main stand would start singing, "come on ye bairns" then round to Hope Street joining in and then the choir would join in... jumpers for goalposts hmmmm
However I do agree. When morale and faith in the club at all levels is low then folk can't be f8cked -and its been that way for some time now so that doesn't help at all. Said in a previous post we really need a 'hero' at the club more than ever..someone on the park who can get us on our feet and something to shout about...and until then I fear as you say it doesn't matter where we are playing, the atmosphere will be sh*te.
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1 hour ago, The Moonster said:
Could somebody mention new modern grounds having no "character" please? It's all I need for a full house.
At the majority of grounds in Scotland, if you've got enough arses in the door then you'll generate atmosphere. If you've got 300 bodies making no noise, it doesn't matter if you've got terracing or seats, the atmosphere will be shite. I enjoy the Terrace TV show as much as everyone else, but I was reaching for the sick bucket on Friday night when the segment on stadiums came on. Acting as if stadiums have some unknown spirit that encapsulates the fans every week and generates this feeling that nobody else can feel. It's just a place we go to watch something we love, nobody goes to watch a film and comes home saying they enjoyed it but the cinema lacked soul or character - why are stadiums different?
i know what you are saying..kinda...but come on, you dont have people in the cinemas 'supporting the actors' and cheering them on (well you do in certain cinemas). Been at Falkirk Stadium when the atmosphere has been great, not going to argue with that. But I'd go as far as saying it would have been better if we had been closer to the away fans. In fact it would have been carnage at the Hibs and Rangers game if we had.
I'd say pretty much every game at Brockville the atmosphere was great. Maybe a bit of rose tinted spectacles on and I know there were no doubt games when we were shit or getting horsed when the atmosphere wasn't great. But most games there was a great atmosphere before kick off that continued throughout the game. Whereas now at FFS it seems something needs to happen first to get the atmosphere going. If we were nearer the away fans then theres a good chance that it could bring that back.
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5 minutes ago, Bairney The Dinosaur said:
Seeing as the best atmosphere at TFS was in the gazebo, then I think a low, covered terracing would be absolutely perfect for the 4th side.
totally agree with this. In an ideal world having a proper 4th stand with all the facilites underneath would be good...but lets face it, its probably not going to happen. Plus realistically how many empty seats would that provide each week?
A terrace would be relatively cheap(er). Would mean some of the enjoyment of going to a game and having the 'banter' with away fans. Thats the thing I struggle with at TFS. At BRockville I was 99% of the time in the choir under the covered terrace. I've always preferred to watch a game from the side rather than behind the goal. However at TFS sitting behind the goal is preferable.
I think having a terrace would be perfect...nearer the away fans, which creates better banter/atmosphere, better match day experience and although we would never return to the Brockville 'glory' days, this would at least be a big step towards it. Also arguably more vocal support when we are up that end of the pitch..which might help the players(ok clutching at straws i know!) Might look a bit daft consdering how big/good the main stand is but compared to what we have now its always goign to be an improvement.
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38 minutes ago, Shadwell Dog said:
No easy though to get a decent striker willing to play for a league one side.
Its a fair point. Just talking hypothetically, if I was a decent striker from a league above or whatever, maybe not first choice at my club, and FFC could afford wages I was after..then you'd maybe think that dropping down to play in a lower league could be a sensible option career wise? More chance of scoring a load of goals, making a name for yourself and firing the team to promotion, getting a bit of glory in a short career, fans favourite, and maybe, just maybe getting a bigger move along the way.... I guess the risk is you flop and then your spiral downwards continues..
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Annoying things people write on Facebook
in Top Fives
Posted
one that I've noticed is this, and apologies if mentioned before...heres the example...
Bloke on my facebook page(and no, not me, think my last status update was 2014) just wrote a post about Brexit, essentially saying he was against it but would just get on with it.
This then descended into a few folk laying into him for "giving up".
Which then escalated into him defending himself and an argument, and amongst it, someone saying "I thought better of you - UNFRIENDED".
Why someone had to announce they were unfriending him, apart from the obvious attention seeking sh*t, is beyond me..I just cant understand as an adult posting something like this is normal behaviour... "you are not my friend anymore" - last heard in primary 4.