[What song or music would you like played at your funeral?]

I was at a funeral on Tuesday this week...never a nice experience but fair play on the  tune selection

The Passenger - Iggy pop  as people came in

White Horses by Jacky - TV theme during

Then 'Redemption Song'  Joe Strummer version at the end.

[Perfect Songs]

 

[Pish Adverts]

theres some f*cking advert for a holiday company on using the xmas tune "its the most wonderful time of the year".

just hearing it in Jan/Feb makes me want to kill some c*nt.

 

[Netflix]

On 31/01/2022 at 12:42, JustOneCornetto said:

 

Started watching The Woman In The House Across The Street From The Girl In The Window - off to not a bad start and with just 8 short episodes shouldn't take long to whizz through.

 

My wife watching this on Monday.  I started but kept falling asleep during episode one.  I woke for episode

Spoiler

the way their kid died...jesus christ surely they could have thought of something less unlikely... then the actual fight scene at the end - its a kid..kick her in the head

two but thought it was a p*ss take...its truly terrible.  I actually thought it was a spoof at one point.

[Worst pub in Scotland]

1 hour ago, mathematics said:

Is it not a city?

 

[Worst pub in Scotland]

2 hours ago, Detournement said:

In terms of attending matches Falkirk will be by far the biggest club in Falkirk. There is no chance that there are 3000 people from the Falkirk area at Ibrox or Celtic Park every week. 

In terms of Accies the club has been horribly run and even their recent successful spell wasn't likely to attract new fans due to the stadium and pitch. 

 

Its not the point I'm trying to make.  Of course theres not 3000 going every week -surely you know thats not what I'm saying?   

The point isn't that people are attending the matches, its the fact that theres Rangers and Celtic fans who arent going to Ibrox/Parkhead(and probably never have) but wouldn't go near Falkirk Stadium (I don't blame them at the moment but that's not the point) and this wont change because its not 100% about football....its all the other sh*te that goes with it for them.   I bet there's just about or close to as many Rangers supports clubs in the Falkirk area.  

Growing up my best mate and next door neighbour was a big Celtic fan.  No one at his school were Falkirk fans despite Brockville being spitting distance from the school.  If you went to the Catholic school you were a Celtic fan.  So again, my point being if none of that sh*te existed('Imagine' says John) things would be different.

 

[Worst pub in Scotland]

17 minutes ago, Detournement said:

It's not just gloryhunting.

People move around and there were some relatively huge movements of people from Glasgow out to various new towns and schemes after WW2. Accies are the textbook poorly supported team but the population of Hamilton doubled after WW2 mainly from Glasgow and coal villages so there is no reason for those families to have a link to Accies. With Livingston and ICT families in those towns already had teams they support when the new clubs were formed. 

You mention Leicester but the population of the urban area there is half a million. Motherwell has a population of 33,000 and Kilmarnock 43,000 so they do get relatively similar if not better crowds. I think people don't realise how small places are here compared to elsewhere when they compare attendances. The Glasgow teams are the best supported because Glasgow is the only major population centre in Scotland (what's actually interesting is the rise of Aberdeen and Dundee Utd coincided with Glasgow's population decline). 

There are glory hunters all over Europe. Spain is full of Real and Barca fans, in Italy it's Juve and Inter and in England It's Man Utd and Liverpool. It's nothing to do with sectarianism down there and removing it would make no difference here. 

 

 

 

 

Removing Sectarianism would make no difference to Scottish football? Is that seriously what you are saying?

I would say without it, the the places you mentioned and the people who support the Old Firm in Hamilton would arguably phase out through time. 

I know a lot of people support Liverpool/Man Utd because their dad did.  But theres also a big chance that phases out when/if the kid gets into supporting the local team.  For geographical reasons more than anything.   Again, hate using Leicester as an example but one of my mates here is a gloryhunter from the 90s Man U fan.  His son wanted to go to his first football game so as Man Utd was too far for a Saturday jaunt, and he couldn't get a ticket for Leicester. He took the wee guy to Hinckley Town.  That was 10 years ago now and his son is still hooked on Hinckley even through their Liquidation.   I honestly cant see or imagine a Rangers/Celtic fan taking their kid to local team and the same thing happening..i might be cynical...but there you go.

The elephant in the room being how successful would Rangers/Celtic be without the Sectarian link?  All that money coming in from all over the World?  So you are assuming that  that would still be the case?

What I'm saying is if that money wasnt coming in...theres no doubt they would still be big clubs due to the size of Glasgow -but would the gap between them and the rest of the clubs be as big - and if not, would that not then open up the opportunity for a bigger challenge adn in turn for people to support their local team more if there was more chance of success like Aberdeen and Dundee Utd had in the 1980s?

However my point really is if you support Rangers/Celtic then its ingrained because of more than just the football...and you cant say that for a lot of other teams.

 The actual attendance figures are irrelevant - Leicester have been selling out most saturdays and are looking to build a new stand to fit people in so their current attendance isn't reliable really..

It is of course not a fair comparison - but my point really was most of the lads i know in Leicester go along to support City.  Whereas growing up in my class in Falkirk of the say the 20 football loving lads, I'd say 70% were Gers fans, 15% Falkirk and 15%  other 'random' teams like Aberdeen, hearts, Hibs etc  Without the Sectarian aspect I'm sure it would be different.

 anyway, thread about pubs so I'll can it here

[Worst pub in Scotland]

5 minutes ago, Detournement said:

That's a bit delusional. 

A Catholic that lives in Cardonald? Tough titty you're going to Ibrox!

Something I've often pondered...and maybe even deserves it own thread...but what would Scottish Football look like without the Sectarian element?

You would always get glory hunters - people who would no doubt latch onto Rangers and Celtic from outside of Glasgow.  But all those provincial towns scattered beyond the G postcode - where lets face it a lot of the support is driven by what religion you are - if this wasn't there then it would be interesting to see the change in support levels.  

I live in Leicester now, a one city team.   So pretty much everyone who is local, into football supports Leicester City.  Of course you have people who support other teams but in general there seems to be a lot of people who are proud of their team/city and wouldn't go elsewhere even had the chance.  Leicester is probably a bad example as they still have an element of glory hunters from the League winning days and they've continued having some level of success since then(FA Cup, European campaigns).  

I did move down there when they were in league One and although the stadium wasn't empty, it was easier to get a ticket.

I'm probably not putting my point across well here and will no doubt get shot down - but I guess what I'm trying to say if you took the Sectarianism away, and therefore all the bigotry and  divide - how would Scottish football look...?

Boring maybe....

 

[Kieran Tierney]

On 15/12/2021 at 12:16, BingMcCrosby said:

He seems to be the fans choice as captain also. So i think it is relevant to the discussion on Tierney.

And apologies if you disagree with the last few posts. But frankly ill post what I want.

I was out in North London on Saturday night.   Got talking to a few Arsenal fans who had been watching the Leeds game.  I asked what they thought of Tierney and one guy shot back straight away with "future captain" (didn't say of Arsenal right enough but I assumed so!)...then they all belted out this football song which I hadn't heard before using The Doors tune 'Tell All the People"....

"Tell all the Spurs scum that you see

Kieran Tierney  

Kie-ran Tierney"

a bit sh*t but again, first time I'd heard The Doors being used as a footie chant so fair fux.

 

[The Falkirk FC Thread]

Was busy at weekend so not done the rounds, but did Dowds get MOTM for Arbroath on Saturday? I know he got the winner.  Will be interesting to see what happens there.

[The Office Uk]

On 19/12/2021 at 00:33, IrishBhoy said:

I like the scene where one of the minor characters is having a chat with Rowan about how he became a trainer. It’s not actually funny in the slightest, but it’s a very accurate representation of what happens at these sort of training courses in real life. 
 

I went on an electrical safety course a couple of years back and we had 3 days in a classroom with a guy who, in between telling us how to avoid electrocution from the 25KV main line, wouldn’t stop talking about how cushy his job as a trainer was. It would be a slight exaggeration to say he showed us his pay slips on the projector screen, but not by much. 

ha yep, I used to have a David Brent/office manager type job role.  When we had outside Trainers come in, at lunchtime everyone would scurry back to their desks to catch up on emails etc leaving me to make small talk with these guys in the meeting room.  Most of the time the chat from them was exactly the same, how easy their job was, money perks etc... I'd normally say I had to make a  call and go hide for 30 minutes.

[Pish Adverts]

20 hours ago, Boghead ranter said:

Every time I stumble across this advert on Sky (usually when I have Sky News on to put me to sleep), I sure it must be about to appear in this year's Apprentice.

 

this came on last night and I shouted "F*CK OFF" at the telly and got telt off by the wife....I cannot stand it...even more annoyed they got to used the Suicide tune as well.

I know its been widely been a subject of p*sstakes on TV comedy sketch shows but pretty much any perfume/aftershave advert is a load of sh*te... i dont know how they still get away with doing them but it seems to be a competition each year to be the most pretentious. 

[The Falkirk FC Thread]

On 11/12/2021 at 13:00, Mevilc Bairn said:

I'm pretty sure it was but not 100% certain. Wild scenes at the penalty and a sense of relief. Crazy times after the game. I'm sure we got an Elliot's bus window smashed after a Hearts game as well but can't remember when

I was on the Elliots bus that day as well - actually I think it might have been a midweek game? Wee guys picked up some pottery from outside a house and launched it through the window.

[The Falkirk FC Thread]

Last time I'll mention it, but I was best mates at School with Martin.  We lost touch when we left School and I haven't spoken to him since but still pretty mental for me he's now managing the club.   Probably been mentioned elsewhere that he was a big Falkirk fan(think he was Ballboy at one point)....  In fact I dont imagine many previous managers have been on the Elliots supporters bus which he sometimes went on with a few of us in the early 90s.  The one game that sticks out is 1991 v Partick Thistle away(1-1 I think it finished?).  Loads of trouble after the game and the bus windows got put in -Martin was with me on the bus that day definitely.   

Not an exciting story I know but still pretty mad to think he's now at the helm!

Good luck to him..he's going to need it!

[The Falkirk FC Thread]

Jeez, Martin Rennie was one of my best mates at High School - will be a headf*ck for me if he gets it! 

[Decent Songs Ruined (& Musical PTTGOYN)]

One for Indie kids.

The Sugarcubes 'Hit'...great tune, Bjork on fine form...then that other fanny comes in (1.56) with his rap...totally ruins the song for me...

 

 

Indie Da

[The Beatles: Get Back]

On 01/12/2021 at 11:26, meanmistermustard said:

There will be a home release sometime in 2022, Peter Jackson has said there will be six hours of additional footage included but he said the Disney+ documentary was six hours when it is 7 hours 49 minutes so who knows. Apple and Disney thought they were getting a couple of hours but during Covid Jackson and his team made it far longer without telling anyone, showed it to them without warning and they agreed to release it in it’s longer format. Jackson also got Disney to agree to include swearing and heavy smoking in the documentary.

The original ‘LIB’ film should also be out in 2022, it’s been remastered and Giles Martin has been working on the soundtrack.

It’s thought Apple and Disney want the new extended edit to be available for a while before any home release to encourage people to sign up to Disney+ and to avoid endless comparisons and competition between streaming and folk opting to buy it on blu-ray/DVD.

yeah theres a list of all the songs they 'covered' during the sessions online. By covered it means even if they did a few bars as a p*ss about.  But looking through it theres hunners of tunes..i'll try find the link but obviously suggests theres so much more available. 

[The Beatles: Get Back]

On 30/11/2021 at 16:20, meanmistermustard said:

I’ve been a massive Beatles fan for decades and this it it for me. The four going thru all their shit at Twickenham to get it together at Apple and then play the Rooftop concert (which is one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen), annoying the f**k out of the stuffy bankers and businessmen whilst delighting so many others of all generations. So many highlights and will need to be rewatched a few times to take it all in.

Sums it up perfectly for me too.   Absolutely love them and now even moreso.   Also despite being a massive Beatles fan I've always got the Abbey Road album/Let it Be Sessions mixed up so good to see how it panned out.   I did have that 'Commonwealth' (yeaassss) tune in my head for days!   In fact 'Let it Be' is one album I never really dig out much but really enjoying the Glyn Johns sessions.

 

A wee cool footnote story for any nerds.   About 5 years ago, for a bit of fun I used to put gigs on in Leicester.  I booked a band called July who were around in the late 1960s - British psychedelic band who didn't have much success but a few underground singles.  They had reformed and through a friend I booked them for Leicester.

As you do I got chatting to them, one of them, Tom(to be fair only two original members).  I was asking Tom about the 1960s music scene and he told me this story.  In 1969 his band, July, hadn't had much success so he was fairly fed up with the music scene.  He had previously done a bit of art in his spare time so decided to see if he could make some money out of it. 

At the time The Beatles had Apple and were encouraging musicians, artists, etc to put things forward for consideration.  So Tom decided to head down to the Apple office to tout his artwork.   

After pacing up and down the street outside carrying his painting trying to work up courage to go in, this transit van pulled up.   Out jumped some blokes one of who was an old mate of Toms.   Tom asked him what he was doing there and the bloke told him about the Beatles Rooftop gig and that he was helping out with the equipment....before adding "Why don't you grab a piece of equipment and carry it up and you can see the gig with us".   Tom obliged and next thing was on the rooftop.  He placed his artwork behind Ringo's drumkit(you can see it in the footage). He then said he spent a while trying to avoid Mal Evans and Neil Asphinal in case he got thrown out,  although due to the fact he was a musician and had 'the look' he blended in.

I must admit at the time I took the story with a pinch of salt but after watching the footage I spotted him on the rooftop(wearing a maroon/purple suit) and you can see his painting behind Ringo.  Whether or not how he got there is exactly as said but its a cool story either way.  I am friends with him still on Facebook and theres been a lot of posts from his mates saying "i spotted you" so its unlikely its bullsh*t that he wasn't there.

[The Falkirk FC Thread]

58 minutes ago, Shadwell Dog said:

Of course it has. Back in the old days fans could basically shout and sing anything.  Players these days seem to struggle to handle being called crap never mind anything worse.  They used to get brought through though in far tougher environments  than the pampered ones they are in now. Youngsters cleaning the pros boots for instance gave them a proper grounding as did doing the menial tasks around the club. It's a shame those things have been lost to the game as it.prepared them far better for their footballing careers.

I was just going to mention this.   Listening to some of the Walking Down Hope Street Podcasts and hearing stories of what players had to do as apprentices - cleaning boots, cleaning the stadium - not to mention that astroturf behind Brockville....jumpers for goalposts etc...

We obviously didn't have the same social media thing then, and I'm not sure how much current players look at this type of thing....but again, could you imagine any of the "old school" players giving a f8ck back in the day if some keyboard warrior was having a go?

I understand (to some degree) from the outside fans of other clubs see us as perpetual moaners.  However if you were in our shoes I can't think how you wouldn't feel the same.  If at least one area of the club was going well we might have something to cheer about but its a bomb scare from top to bottom.  Granted the Youth side is now starting to take shape but a long way to go.   

Falkirk fans will always think we should be in the top flight.  I'm personally not saying we should be, but we've been there before and that's what we're aiming for.  This is perceived as arrogant by some or undeserved.   I saw the Clyde fan writing "i wish we were as bad as Falkirk".  I understand the sentiment, but its not the point as everything is relative to expectations.

Football generally has the teams with the biggest budgets and fanbase(crowd w*nk alert) in the top flight.   So as we languish in League One with relatively poor performances and results(in relation to budget and expectation) anyone who criticises us for not being happy with this needs their head screwed on.

Not always the case, maybe there's fans out there that get behind their team no matter what...I've yet to see them though.  I'm sure the fans of the clubs in similar situations aren't happy either(check any Sunderland Forum just as an example as I'm sure their fans aren't having a good time).

Before the pile on....I'm not saying we deserve to be in the Premier League...its a results game.  But all most of the fans want is a decent and organised Board,  players who look like they want to play for us, and at least a bit of passion and decent football.   Sounds like a lot to ask but we've had(some of) it in the past and most of us just want that back. 

So its understandable when everything is sh*te  and has been for some time...there's frustrations...especially with the number of 'New Hope' moments we've had.  But I certainly don't go for the notion that our fans are any critical than anyone else's would be in this situation.

 

[The Falkirk FC Thread]

6 hours ago, Bairn in Exile said:

"Great question" is a statement, not a question (we're quite the experts on the difference between a statement and a question on this thread), so no question mark required. An exclamation mark would have been appropriate.

It's ex-players, not x players.

Careless use of "tour" instead of "your".

Several commas missing.

C+ tries hard, but could do better.

And here's a good Stephen King title for you:

Piss off.

I know I'm being a c*nt but you deserve it.

You missed out his use of the word 'descent'.... 

[Out of the mouth of babes...]

bit of a niche one this but I'll crack on....

Out last night with the Missus, we met a guy we hadn't seen for years with his new girlfriend.

The guys a bit of a dick, especially when drunk and introduced us both to his new girlfriend by her name but adding in "shes the daughter of Keith West don't you know!".

Keith West was the singer in Uk 60s Psychedelic band Tomorrow, who also had a solo record single reach No.2 in the UK charts in 1967 (pop pickers). Means f-all to most, but being a fan of 60s music obsessive i was faintly impressed.

On the way home I said to the wife

"thats mad, that lassie is the daughter of Keith West"

To which the wife replies in all seriousness (and I'm sure you are ahead of me here)

"not sure I'd be boasting about that with all the murders he did"

 

[The Falkirk FC Thread]

52 minutes ago, falkirkzombie said:

Saturday's game was absolutely fantastic, came away feeling lucky to be there, it was very much a welcome break from the pish we get served up at TFS.

Aye but to be honest watching the Scotland v Faroes game last night felt more like watching Falkirk.  A game we expected to win comfortably that within 20 minutes we're on the ropes and resorting to clueless high punts forward.

Difference being Scotland actually won.

[c***s on the road]

13 hours ago, Jacksgranda said:

I've got worse - the sheer bad manners, total lack of awareness and f*** you attitude of many road users has me practically apoplectic on occasions.

Ha, yeah,  get you.  I used to be terrible.  I'd get into work seething about something that had happened...or nearly get into serious trouble from car full of lads for giving them abuse prior to realising who was in the car .  My wife started to mention it and as i got older I realised it was pointless really so I've mellowed out a fair bit.

I still chuckle at an incident at the Whirlies roundabout when i was about 21. I approached the roundabout a bit too fast, and had to slam on the brakes as this old guy was coming round.  His old wife in the passenger seat spotted me screeching to a halt and shook her head as he slowly went by, to which i responded with a double middle finger in her direction shouting "F*ck you ya old c*nt!" out the window.  her face dropped and she was tugging on the drivers arm pointing at me but he was oblivious.

Not something I'm proud of but I must admit one of my PTTGOYN is passengers (usually old women) who have a visible opinion on other drivers..

[c***s on the road]

The above story also reminded me of a time on the M73 just past Gartcosh.

There were roadworks so two lanes filtered into one lane with the inevitable tail back at 5pm on a Friday.

As it got down to 400 yards everyone was merging into the correct lane.  

My brother and I were in the car coming back from working in E.K.   As what sometimes happens in these situations one of the lorries pulled out into the lane that is about to be closed to stop anyone getting in at the last minute.

In this case they must've spotted this BMW driver who was hurtling up the lane that was about to be closed to try jump in at the last possible point. 

As the lorry pulled out to stop him,  the BMW driver moved into the central reservation area to get round him, causing stones and allsorts of dust to fly everywhere...but he still managed to get by. 

We sat in the traffic then for fcking ages but as we got into the next section we could see the BMW driver on the hard shoulder. As we got nearer we noticed he had a flat tyre, so whatever he'd driven through to get round the lorry, something must've punctured his tyre.

My brother who is a total bam, was leaning out the window as we went past, giving the guy pelters.... 

Funny at the time!

[c***s on the road]

Had a cracker on Friday.

Leaving for work and literally 100 yards on my street theres a bend in the road sloping down a hill with parked cars on either side. 

As i got to the bend and could see down the hill, I spotted the recycling lorry coming the other way.   With parked cars either side theres no way past, so I give way, leaving space for the lorry to get past. Having to wait for the lorry to be loaded and them to move on.

Up behind me comes a guy and his wife/partner in an Audi.  He cant see round the bend and down the hill so in his eyes I'm just sitting in the middle of the road holding up the traffic for no reason.  After flashing his lights I try to make some sort of hand signal to say I cant go any further.  But hes going mad and telling me to move and I can already tell he's pretty irate. 

So he uses the space I've left for the lorry to get by me and pulls up beside me.  To add to the fun as he passes me he starts giving me pelters as I'm by this point pissing myself laughing. His wife in the passenger seat is glaring at me as well.

Once he's had enough of giving me abuse he focuses on the road and realises why I've stopped, and the fact I'm giving way to the lorry which is now half way up the road inbetween the parked cars and has no intention of reversing back to let him through first.   

There's no way for him to go but to reserve back, passing me again as he does so.  To be fair  he holds his hands up to apologise as he does so whilst his wife is looking anywhere but at me.

To be honest as I've got older I'm a lot more relaxed than I used to be - and I just gave a chuckle to myself before letting the lorry by and driving off.  Think 10 years ago I'd have been out the car giving it a big GIRFUY!