coprolite

Mine always falls asleep before the end of a film on telly. If I watch the end she then moans about me watching it without her. I started turning over and recording the ends for us to watch together. They would go unwatched until I cracked and watched them myself, resulting in "I can't believe you watched it without me" Now I just keep watching and lie about it.

Never realised how big they were. The plant is on there, for Stewart's heid to spin into the top left.

I like playing European games without having qualified to do so. These are people who struggle with the concept of ceasing to exist, so you can see that they may be baffled by detail.

Big shout out to the unusual lad on my overfilled commuter train today. He went in the toilet (big round type) and didn't lock the door. Some old boy with a can of strongbow staggered up and pushed the button while unusual lad carried on pishing in full view of about a dozen standing punters. I'd had a full on week at work and always treat myself to a wee beer on the way home on Friday. Lined up a bit if Dub Syndicate on the headphones, grabbed a beer from my bag and prepared to kick back. As I opened my beer. There was a frantic tapping on my elbow. Unusual lad was tapping at me to get my attention. So I took out my earphones and asked what he wanted. He pointed at my can and said "good beer" I said "is it?" (it was goose Island and the best of a bad bunch in a small shop). He said "If you like craft beer you'd like this" and proceeded to show me his pretentious looking can that he'd got from a tap room on an industrial estate and started giving me directions ... He was still yapping away when I put my music back on and closed my eyes. Ordinarily I would try to be more polite and humour people, but I really really couldn't be arsed with it. Not sure who the c**t is in this shitey anecdote tbh. No reason there need only be one.

Both less moronic than the Amazzin River. (although Madagascar should have a short "a" and not rhyme with bar)

We have tried signing a player who scored for fun elsewhere and it didn't work. I applaud our innovative strategy.

Not just in kitchens my friend

Good for all parties. As much as folk were complaining about his form, we missed him when he was out.

I heard we're in for Calvin Zola

Well done getting 3rd and definite Europe. Well deserved. I hope your next manager is shite.

Didn't look a red to me tbh.

Bathing? Cleopatra* used to bathe in ass milk. This one: Not

Also Ryan Jack

Darkening age by Catherine Nixey. Narrative history of the early years of Christianity, focusing on them burning books, persecuting philosophers, flaying heretics and generally behaving like ISIS to usher in the dark ages. Pretty decent, although it laboured a couple of points too much. Really good anecdotes told with a lot of vivid detail.

Sentient people need to outbreed the morons.

He hates sevco.

If that's the midfielder then we should totally sign him as a squad player. Not interested in the right back, he was shite

They already explained that a main reason for the move is to increase hospitality. That will be part of it. Probably get more for catering, as there will be options around. A bar will probably turn over a fair amount. Things like charging the unis or other sports clubs to use facilities. There are opportunities and it doesn't seem hugely unrealistic over a five year timeframe. But, business cases for investment are not dispassionate scientific studies, they are as optimistic as can be justified. Very few growth targets are ever met. The direction of travel is the important thing.

Before any fans of lesser clubs get in there: Does being a "Challenger club" mean we reached a high point in 1986 then disintegrated?

Mainly agree except 2 points. Compo is payable after the new deal is signed but 2 sensible grown up clubs will try to agree an amount in advance. They don't have to agree but they will at least discuss it. I'm not convinced that the factors listed would not be offset by the fact that he's in the last year of his "youngster" status and can walk for nothing next year. But I also get the feeling that wigless wouldn't want to take the risk at tribunal. If Motherwell don't feel the need to agree a low fee then it's no deal. I'd want us to do the same in their position.

I don't know whether we're in for him or not but it would be sensible to sort out any compensation before offering a contract. If he accepts an offer then we would be bound to pay an as yet unknown sum. Motherwell are perfectly entitled to to try to maximise their fee. If they've asked (if) for 600k then fair play. They are probably hoping for more like 450 and we would be hoping to pay no more than the development fee (previous rough estimate 180k). It ultimately depends on how much risk each side is prepared to take at tribunal compared to their worst case scenario. 180k amounts to a £3kpw wage for a year for Well. Would they be prepared to hold out and risk losing that?

Treble Twenty's source sounds impeccable and your transfer gossip is right about one in fifty. Nico* is as good as signed. *Mr S Nicholson

Tell me more, I am intrigued. I've discovered the underlying truth behind all of the main religions and can bring fulfilment and harmony to the world. You probably won't be receptive to the truth, with all your possessions and sexual hang ups getting in the way. I can help you find the truth.

I indoctrinate weak minded people into a cult.

Ours had a similar racket with Aldi toy carrots that he was selling on ebay for £200. Aldi had hundreds of them in each store for a couple of quid and it was quite easy to check the ebay story. Your guy sounds much harder. Ours just batters wrong uns occasionally.