Raith Against The Machine

I'm not finished with that crazy arse yet! She's lucky he came back at all, never mind with magic beans. That bloke at the side of the road didn't have to say "Gies yer cow for these beans", he could've been there with one hand down his trousers, giving it "Gies the cow, or i'll pump ye full o' mah magic beans".

"Aw, Jack, ye sold ma coo!" That's what you get for leaving an impressionable child in charge of livestock, you daft bint.

I think someone's angling for a P&B mob to be formed...

You Germans, always with the beatings! I'm sorry, I love you, and your crazy ways.

"When you have snatched the pebble from my hand, you may learn the ways of the sarabande, Grasshopper Zurich"

Sounds more like the an isolated town in a spaghetti western, to me. "The road to Sarabande is plagued with bandits, you will surely never make it across the canyon." "I know how to... handle myself." *Steely gaze*

"Damnit Steve, can you not just do this, it's the fourth, most important, season, 2002 with the World Cup!" "No, Rivaldo, I just can't recreate the sound of 50,000 people booing you, ya big diving jessie!"

Do you think orchestras have a "utility man", a sort of versatile bloke (or blokette) who plays the odd stuff that turns up now and again? One minute he's blasting a cannon, the next he's got one of those tubes filled with beads that make a whooshing sound. I have absolutely no idea why any orchestra in the land would need one of those whoosh-tubes Unfortunately, that's the only thing I could think of. I have absolutely no knowledge of classical music. Up until last week I thought Rivaldo had composed The Four Seasons.

Oh, you have a Mac?

Whitesnake - Here I Go Again?

Nightmare! She's had a few incidents with her learning, has she not? I've got my test on Monday, and I'd be livid. I've already had to wait long enough because of my instructor's holidays, then mine, and I did my arm in.

Ach, I'm just pülling your leg! I don't mean anything by it...

Knock it off!

Could be worse, you could be fighting off a migrant.

I always imagined scurvy to be some sort of disease you caught from being in close proximity to a parrot for too long, and the treatment was either the removal of an eye, or a leg, which would then be inadequately replaced. Turns out, it's from not eating oranges. And the treatment is to eat an orange. Then again, I once misheard a TV programme, and for years I thought Liberace had died from "eggs". I'm not a medical expert.

That's scurvy, ya clown!

Fletch and Sasha seem to have wildly varying prices to buy smack at. To afford a hit, Sasha steals a laptop. Fletch "found a couple of DVDs to sell". A couple of DVDs!? How much smack can you get with £6? Simon?

I wasn't sure about that, I hadn't seen anything about him being banned (obviously), but I thought he might've been because of the change of name/team supported, but the retention of the very obvious posting style. Did he resign, in hilarious fashion?

He is indeed a Feefer. He used to post as raithsaltire. Possibly banned for being a c**t, I can't remember.

A mate of mine had the hiccups last night, and as I walked past him, I roared and jumped towards him to scare them out of him. His reflex reaction? Punched me in the face.

That on the left there is just a can of lager, that someone's painted up. Anyway...

I think you should, yeh...

It'll take 32 years to reach a million, by my reckoning, if we keep up the current pace