P45 Posted December 14, 2015 Share Posted December 14, 2015 What sort of a bell end checks the temperature of a beer? Desperados aficionados. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted December 14, 2015 Share Posted December 14, 2015 Has anybody ever snapped their banjo string? I was speaking to somebody last night that had done it, it sounds horrific. I think it would put me off riding for life. 4 times. The third time it healed very strangely and I had to think about getting it lopped off. The fourth time it snapped, it healed well and now back to normal. The worst part is trying to have a wash whilst it's healing. Pishing can be sore too. My step-brother snapped his three times, each one more serious than the last. He described the final time as like a banana peeling from the top down along the seam at the back of the shaft. We were in a pub when he told me so I was forced to keep my cool and not run screaming, crying and snottering from the room, but inside I was sobbing at the mere image it conjured in my head. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted December 14, 2015 Share Posted December 14, 2015 My step-brother snapped his three times, each one more serious than the last. He described the final time as like a banana peeling from the top down along the seam at the back of the shaft. We were in a pub when he told me so I was forced to keep my cool and not run screaming, crying and snottering from the room, but inside I was sobbing at the mere image it conjured in my head. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DDcups Posted December 14, 2015 Share Posted December 14, 2015 Anyone know who picks up USPS packages once they reach the UK? Ordered some things from the US and according to my tracking number, it reached London on the 2nd, yet no sign of it! No updates since, so not a clue where the fucking thing is.[/quote\] I've bought a airsoft gun and it was held for 2 weeks by customs before being sent out. It was Royal Mail or parcel force that delivered iirc. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 Is there a name for the thing when you're in bed and falling asleep where you suddenly get a massive fright and end up wide awake? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 Is there a name for the thing when you're in bed and falling asleep where you suddenly get a massive fright and end up wide awake? Alarm clock? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 Incontinence. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 Being a little pussy? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Bairn Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Scotty T is going on Ex on the Beach, anyone know who his ex is? Never thought he'd had a bird Holly maybe? Think they're quite loose with the "ex" label given Gaz and Charlotte weren't ever a couple and they sent that Dan guy in who Vicky only went on a couple of dates with. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeboy Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Bugger off to the tv forum with your inane pish of Geordie shore or whatever it is you pair of fucking wet blankets. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 A hypnic jerk. No need to be rude, Miley. I used to go to sleep with a jerk every night, but I've grown out of it in my advancing years. I think it's something to do with blood pressure. Fnarr. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Is there a name for the thing when you're in bed and falling asleep where you suddenly get a massive fright and end up wide awake? Not quite sure but I get it and it's fucking awful. Could be stress-related says my doctor friend, but bugger knows really. Some nights I don't get it at all, and other nights it can happen half a dozen times. Anyway, here's a question. As lads, I'm sure most of us enjoy taking a shite whilst at work. Despite having to do it in a cubicle in earshot of other crappers, having a dump on the company coin is one of life's wee perks. However, discussing with a female colleague a while back, she revealed that in her 15+ years at the company, she's never dropped a brown bomb at work. Is this normal among females? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Not quite sure but I get it and it's fucking awful. Could be stress-related says my doctor friend, but bugger knows really. Some nights I don't get it at all, and other nights it can happen half a dozen times. Anyway, here's a question. As lads, I'm sure most of us enjoy taking a shite whilst at work. Despite having to do it in a cubicle in earshot of other crappers, having a dump on the company coin is one of life's wee perks. However, discussing with a female colleague a while back, she revealed that in her 15+ years at the company, she's never dropped a brown bomb at work. Is this normal among females? Not just for females, I know of a few folk that couldn't shite if they were not on their own throne. I had the same problem until I started travelling, I was 3 at the time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Not just for females, I know of a few folk that couldn't shite if they were not on their own throne. I had the same problem until I started travelling, I was 3 at the time. I've heard that too, although speaking personally, if I was sitting in work at 9.05am with a lit fuse, there's no way I'd be able to bake it until half five in the afternoon. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeboy Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Best place in Dundee for a tattoo? (Not for me) Rock n' Roll or Metalurgey, depends on style. Devilicious is decent, absolutely avoid everyone else though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 (edited) I've heard that too, although speaking personally, if I was sitting in work at 9.05am with a lit fuse, there's no way I'd be able to bake it until half five in the afternoon. If I have lit fuse at 09:05, I'm shitting at 09:06. Have you ever ate the food here. I could plate it up and sell in Kirkcaldy at the Thai restaurant. Probably better (ate there once when I was back). ETA Yes my daft family thought it would be good to take me to a Thai restaurant on my return. Should have just took me to local chippy. Edited December 16, 2015 by SlipperyP 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spain Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Back in the day, I never did anything more than a pish when I was at School or University. No real reason, I was just fairly regular and didn't need to. Different story these days though at work, as I work pretty long hours. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 If I have lit fuse at 09:05, I'm shitting at 09:06. Have you ever ate the food here. I could plate it up and sell in Kirkcaldy at the Thai restaurant. Probably better (ate there once when I was back). ETA Yes my daft family thought it would be good to take me to a Thai restaurant on my return. Should have just took me to local chippy. Chortle. Similarly, when I was in Canada in the heat of summer a few years back, my aunt INSISTED on buying me a can of Irn Bru because it was in a tourist shop, despite the fact it cost about £2 and was hot to touch. The hardest part was gulping it down while making appreciative noises about how tasty it was. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin_3110 Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 When we were in Germany for 5 days my mate claims he never went for a shite once. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 When we were in Germany for 5 days my mate claims he never went for a shite once. Ich rieche definitiv Scheiße. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.