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Guest The Phoenix

I feel sick after watching that. It's wrong in so many ways. :barf

You've just watched the new catering arrangements for Rangers FC next season.

Same prices, smaller portions.

You know it makes sense.

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You've just watched the new catering arrangements for Rangers FC next season.

Same prices, smaller portions.

You know it makes sense.

:lol: Rangers apparently stopped providing catering about 6 months ago if the Govan Rear is any indiaction.

Typical matchday conversation with dead eyed teenager behind the counter:

KnightswoodBear "Can I have a steak pie please?"

Dead eyed yoof "Nane"

KnightswoodBear "Can I have a scotch pie then please?"

Dead Eyed yoof "Nane eivur, nae hot food"

KnightswoodBear "Did you not expect us today?"

Dead eyed yoof "Eh?"

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Just noticed you can go on a guided tour of North Korea, is it bad that I am considering saving up my money and doing it next summer? :ph34r:

I do not support North Korea in any way it's just out of curiosity.

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Shaving my balls was a good idea at the time, but I'm definitely regretting it now. Itchy as f**k. But smooth so it's not all bad.

:lol:

That's safer than using Veet for Men.

Reviews for Veet.....lol.

I recently purchased this product after it being recommended to me by a friend. Someone commented upon my wild, silvery pubic hair whilst showering at the gym. It caused me much embarrasment.

I read the instructions carefully, but English isn't my first language so I didn't understand them completely. Anyway, what harm could it do, these products must be fully tested, no?

Cautiously, I decided to test it on a small area first, my anus.

I won't go into too much detail, but I now know what a dragon's nostril must feel like...buyer beware!!!

Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)

I like the clean shaven look down in my gentleman's log cabin, so for the past few years I've used a shaver. However the hair keeps growing back which means every 6 months I have to spend 20 minutes trimming again. As I'm sure you've realise this is valuable time I cannot waste. So I decided to get to the root of the problem and purchased this product.

Probably the first thing you will notice after using this product is the pain. Although as a man I lack the required experience, I'm going to estimate that using this product is at least eleven times more painful than childbirth.

Imagine sticking a rusty razor blade into your favourite eye, before tying your hands behind your back. Then imagine that you use the entrenched razor blade to slice open a raw onion. All the while being butt naked. This product is slightly more painful than that.

However if we ignore the blinding, crippling and debilitating pain I should point out that this product is remarkably effective. Before, all manner of organisms great and small lived down there, now nothing can grow; not even on a cellular level. Sadly this includes my genitalia; I've spent the last four hours staring fixedly at Carol Vorderman's arse, all to no avail. My tinkywinkleton hasn't even so much as perked up, so if my review seems a bit harsh, it's only because I wanted children.

All in all an effective and reasonably priced product - 3 Stars.

Edited by Tryfield
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At work today we ran out of the pish we use as a control for doing the drug screens. My boss was wandering round the lab asking people if they needed a pish and if they did would the mind 'contributing' some of it to act as the control.

It was quite early in the day so everyone had refused. He walked up towards me, looked at me, shook his head and walked away without asking. I'm unsure at to whether I should be offended or not.

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At work today we ran out of the pish we use as a control for doing the drug screens. My boss was wandering round the lab asking people if they needed a pish and if they did would the mind 'contributing' some of it to act as the control.

It was quite early in the day so everyone had refused. He walked up towards me, looked at me, shook his head and walked away without asking. I'm unsure at to whether I should be offended or not.

Surely your boss trying to take the piss out of you is a case for harassment.

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Just noticed you can go on a guided tour of North Korea, is it bad that I am considering saving up my money and doing it next summer? :ph34r:

I do not support North Korea in any way it's just out of curiosity.

Just don't tell them they didna actually win the world cup. That would be too cruel!

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If you've got 45 minutes to spare, this episode of Come Dine With Me is well worth a watch. I can't decide if this guy is a massive troll or just extremely obnoxious. Either way, it's hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aoIGQmRTHo&feature=sh_e_se&list=SL

Just for a laugh, he's puts a fake finger in one of his courses laugh.gif

Edited by lanky_ffc
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Just don't tell them they didna actually win the world cup. That would be too cruel!

On a similar note, we won't ever know if Trump's course is the best world as the greatest golf player ever won't play on it. I'm sure Kim Jon-Il wouldn't have minded about a few wind turbines.

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