GiGi Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 If there is any Jocky merchandise to be made it should definitely be some image with 'Wha's in cherge here?' or simply the words "THE AGE OF JOCKY" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunning1874 Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 Jocky's flying alongside the minibus at 70mph. Topless and wielding his trusty megaphone, he gestures for someone to open a window so we can hear him. He flies close so we can hear him over the wind. 'Goodwillie ya fucking mind-cripple, see when we're in the SPL next year, you're fucking claimed! I'll have you stuffed and mounted on a plinth in meh gairden ya c**t! You'll look braw next to Jocky's Monkey Puzzle Tree! Wha's in cherge here?' David bursts into tears and starts rocking back and forth in his seat with his knees tucked up under his chin. Don't think I've ever laughed as much in my life as I did at this bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St. Starko Posted March 5, 2010 Author Share Posted March 5, 2010 Absolute genius! I keep expecting the quality to go down each week, but they just get better and better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raith Against The Machine Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 I'm going to be using "Mind-cripple" as much as possible in the coming weeks.<br><br>Also, now I really really really really want Dundee to get promoted, just to hear more about the Age of Jocky. This really is fantastic stuff. The Daily Record will be on the phone within the week, no doubt, wanting to stick you on page 37. Tell them to ram it, Barry! I'd also quite like to "Become A Fan" of this on Facebook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peteqos Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 It's funny how the focus of the blog has switched from leigh to jocky! Can't believe I look forward to this every week. First class writing Barry! Still no chance of a twitter account to receive a couple of daily doses of jocky? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fife Saint Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 Fuckin hell Bazza, that was an epic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gall09 Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 Seriously phenomenal reading Barry. Hilarious stuff. I genuinely look forward to each update. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
die hard doonhamer Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 I can't stop laughing. Barry, that is genius yet again. You should write a book in a few years, detailing the relationship of Jocky and Leigh, where it started and how it blossomed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GypsyTillIDie Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 Jocky's flying alongside the minibus at 70mph. Topless and wielding his trusty megaphone, he gestures for someone to open a window so we can hear him. He flies close so we can hear him over the wind. 'Goodwillie ya fucking mind-cripple, see when we're in the SPL next year, you're fucking claimed! I'll have you stuffed and mounted on a plinth in meh gairden ya c**t! You'll look braw next to Jocky's Monkey Puzzle Tree! Wha's in cherge here?' David bursts into tears and starts rocking back and forth in his seat with his knees tucked up under his chin. Jocky turns to me. 'You did well tonight, pal. Jocky's affy proud. See ya at training tomorrow'. He starts to veer off away from the bus, but just as we're about to close the window he flies back and announces 'by the way, Leigh, the phone bill's in. You're due me £25 for the gay chatlines you were phoning the other week. Dae yi mind that, Leigh? Mind yi were phoning a'they gay chatlines? That's what em talkin' aboot!' He accelerates and disappears. With a van full of boys who now think I'm gay and an inconsolable David Goodwillie rightfully fearing for his safety, I start counting down the miles and eagerly await the sight of the Menzieshill Multis rising out of the horizon. I've never laughed so much at anything on the Internet. Genius, absolutely genius. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raith_94 Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 Brilliant stuff Barry. Brilliant. Hope there's a blog-related banner in one of the ends at the QF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Master Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 I half-expected to hear the sound of a jet pack at the end of this interview - http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/scotland/8553933.stm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 I'm stealin' yer banter and spunking it all over the forum. Sorry Barry, pal! TECKLE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dundeebarry Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 I'm stealin' yer banter and spunking it all over the forum. Sorry Barry, pal! TECKLE! Hiya Monster. Hiya pal! Nae bather. Get them telt! That's what em' talkin' aboot! Multiquote seems to be acting up, so I can't address the exact posts.... Dunc - I'm not on Pusbook, or indeed any social networking site, so unfortunately I can't unleash the blog in that manner. I should probably get my finger out and set one up, right enough. Pete - I've been giving the Jocky Twitter some thought. I'm not entirely convinced it'll work very well, but I might give it a bash and see how it goes. Watch this space....... The blog has been sharpened up over the weekend. My close personal friend and business associate, P&B's own WendyWho?, has very kindly cast his eye over it and sorted out my poor grammar. The quotation marks, commas and full stops are now in the right place! The blog now includes a photo of Leigh and a bonnie red, white and blue colour scheme, giving it much more of a DFC feel. It looks smert! Your patience and expertise is greatly appreciated, WendyWho?. Cheers amigo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dundeebarry Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 I've been giving the Jocky Twitter some thought. I'm not entirely convinced it'll work very well, but I might give it a bash and see how it goes. Watch this space....... Sweet fizzy cola bottles, here we go: http://twitter.com/REALjockyscott Yas! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattydfc Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Absolute class mate, keep up the good work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thumper Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 Every time Goodwillie came on the telly today I was pishing myself. Excellent work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoss Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 Unaccountably I'd missed the genius of this thread until now. Now rectified and I'll be reading avidly from here on. Top work, thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyWho? Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 The blog has been sharpened up over the weekend. My close personal friend and business associate, P&B's own WendyWho?, has very kindly cast his eye over it and sorted out my poor grammar. The quotation marks, commas and full stops are now in the right place! The blog now includes a photo of Leigh and a bonnie red, white and blue colour scheme, giving it much more of a DFC feel. It looks smert! Your patience and expertise is greatly appreciated, WendyWho?. Cheers amigo. Aye - about that... It appears I've missed a few things on account of the stimulants. You know how it is. I'll need to get logged in again to fix my fixings.I forgot the golden rule: "Never sub-edit whilst oot yer gourd." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vikingTON Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 Sweet fizzy cola bottles, here we go: http://twitter.com/REALjockyscott Yas! If you want tae battle you're in denial,comin' fae Uranus tae check meh style,go ahead put meh rhymes on trial,cast you aff intae exile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dundeebarry Posted March 8, 2010 Share Posted March 8, 2010 Unaccountably I'd missed the genius of this thread until now. Now rectified and I'll be reading avidly from here on. Top work, thanks. Welcome aboard, Yoss. The next installment is half-done and will be posted by the end of the week. It's getting dafter by the minute. Aye - about that... It appears I've missed a few things on account of the stimulants. You know how it is. I'll need to get logged in again to fix my fixings. I forgot the golden rule: "Never sub-edit whilst oot yer gourd." You're fucking sacked ya c**t. There's journalists all over the shop in here. I'll ask The Arch or Stuart Cosgrove to sort it out for me. I'm sure they have nothing better to do with their time than to point out basic stuff I REALLY should remember from school. I'm kidding, chief. I appreciated your time and patience on Friday. You're a champion among sub-editors. It's no wonder you missed bits, what with me slapping you in the chops with my sex-wang as you tried to concentrate on fixing my punctuation and stuff. Taking into account the size of my white pudding, you were probably slightly concussed through multiple blows to the head with a heavy implement. A lesser man would have been out cold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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