Jacksgranda Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 My little sister asked me how to find out what religion a dog is? She's 13. That's a right age for a dog. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
korphaeron Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Missus - "Is a swan a duck or a bird?" Ex-missus - "Do cats lay eggs?" After a laughter fit, I replied "You even have a cat!" To which she said, "'Aye, but it's a boy cat!" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 My little sister asked me how to find out what religion a dog is? She's 13. Sounds like an OF fan to me 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geedub-MFC Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 When I was in America a woman complimented me on how well I spoke English. My mates girlfriend thought that the sun and the moon were the same thing and cannot contemplate that the world revolves around the sun. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 My then wife and I went with her mum and dad to see Flash at the cinema. On leaving the cinema, my mother in law,(recalling the scene where Ming the Merciless is impaled by the spaceship), says, "it was a wee bit far fetched, the green blood and everything" Rolling eyes all round. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gc_smfc Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 A girl who i used to work with just posted this on facebook 'rip all those who died ten years today at 9/11!'...... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
utdtillidie Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 A girl who i used to work with just posted this on facebook 'rip all those who died ten years today at 9/11!'...... Yeah my gf thought it was today too. This was after we were driving to work listening to the golden hour on radio1. After the first 3 songs she pipes up "That's funny, these songs are all from the same era!". She's a depute head teacher. I worry about the future. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 A girl who i used to work with just posted this on facebook 'rip all those who died ten years today at 9/11!'...... Sounds like my kind of girl; stupid enough to sleep with me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Sounds like my kind of girl; stupid enough to sleep with me. You're lucky. I need stupid, blind AND no sense of smell. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozam76 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 My wife ordered a frame for the wee boys room, for one his posters. When it arrived, it was clearly too small. Sh had got her inches and centimetres mixed up. That's bad enough, but when I asked her if it said anything else, she said "aye it said A4, but I thought that was the name of the frame". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave258 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 A girl who i used to work with just posted this on facebook 'rip all those who died ten years today at 9/11!'...... Yeah my gf thought it was today too. This was after we were driving to work listening to the golden hour on radio1. After the first 3 songs she pipes up "That's funny, these songs are all from the same era!". She's a depute head teacher. I worry about the future. Yip, mine too. Lying in bed this morning as she brings me my coffee (Well trained. Stupid, but well trained): Her: I can remember where I was ten years ago to the day. Me: Why? Her: Because of 9/11! Me: *Hits snooze and goes under the covers for five more minutes kip* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guttenberg Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 (edited) Mrs Guttenberg has had some belters. She thought the lead singer of the Rolling Stones was "McJagger" (she thought he just went by his surname or it was a nickname a la Bono & Sting). On a recent trip to Vegas we were walking along the strip admiring the hotels... Me: Oh Look, Monte Carlo. Mrs Guttenberg: Monte Carlo.... Is he a golfer? Finally, I'll never forget the look of shear amazement in her eyes when I told her that we were underneath water when driving through the Clyde Tunnel. The conversation was started when she said "For some reason my ears always pop every time we drive through here..." Edited September 9, 2011 by Guttenberg 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skyline Drifter Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 (edited) In Troon for a few days break this week. There are trees in Troon, a whole street of them, that grow at about a 45° angle to the ground or even less due clearly to the prevailing wind blowing them that way. From the passenger seat today comes "Do they plant them at an angle to get them to all grow like that?". Yes dear they have special diagonal planting process! Edited September 15, 2011 by Skyline Drifter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Mrs Guttenberg has had some belters. She thought the lead singer of the Rolling Stones was "McJagger" (she thought he just went by his surname or it was a nickname a la Bono & Sting). :lol: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 "Billy Connolys route 66?....what's that mean cause isn't route 66 food" No that was not a typo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RCR Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 (edited) While looking at a tube map on the London Underground: "The Thames has very angular corners - is it man made?" Edited September 16, 2011 by RCR 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galajambo Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I won't let my wife forget her observation that Stephen Hawking was clearly from the US, based on his accent I literally pissed myself laughing at this one! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacDuffman Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I literally pissed myself laughing at this one! Were there not Americans claiming earlier this year when Obama was trying to bring in his health reforms that if Stephen Hawking was British he would have been allowed to die at birth. Feckin' dumbasses. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 In Troon for a few days break this week. There are trees in Troon, a whole street of them, that grow at about a 45° angle to the ground or even less due clearly to the prevailing wind blowing them that way. From the passenger seat today comes "Do they plant them at an angle to get them to all grow like that?". Yes dear they have special diagonal planting process! You passed my dad's house! He lives there! You'll sleep very well this evening with this knowledge. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skyline Drifter Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 You passed my dad's house! He lives there! You'll sleep very well this evening with this knowledge. Indeed I will. Possibly also in part thanks to gubbing Morton today though. I have family in Troon we were staying with incidentally, not just a random break. We go at least once a year for a few days. Perhaps I've even met your dad! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.