Long live the 69 Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 There was a boy in our school who was - how to put it - a bit fucked up. He made a list of people he wanted to shoot and told a girl about it after telling her that he was going shoot her in the face then f**k her dead corpse. If you didn't say you were Inverness, I swear we knew the same person! The guy i'm talking about was in my school called Peter Lomas. Basically, he was odd. He would sit in classes with just a slingshot in hand, hitting flies on the wall (and occasionally our teachers). Anyways, in 5th year he turned up for the first week or so, then wasn't seen again...until the actual exams in April/May. His attendance was 7%, and he got a C in Higher Modern Studies! Turns out though, what he done everyday (for those in the South of Glasgow) was that he'd walk from his house in Cardonald (near Silverburn-ish) to Bellahouston Park everyday, and read his textbooks in the park all day. Even when it was raining, he'd hide in the wee cave thing at the "House for an Art lover" I think it's called in the park. Remarkable aswell given he was an unsociable jakey really, while his family were well educated, and his two brothers went to Uni & his brother Josh (who I see often) graduated with a degree and lives in the West End now. Same guy also turned up to our 4th year Christmas dance wearing trackies & a Man Utd top, before stealing all of the IrnBru available & going home. Legend. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraser_smfc Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 One that springs to mind was on my last ever day of school. Well, our 6th year outing to be precise, and we went to Millport for the day. Just for the lulz and that. It was a dress-up day, each house having to go something different, eg, pirates, cowboys, that kind of thing. Anyway we're waiting in the dining hall having a laugh, admiring each other's efforts etc, when my mate Ross arrives with shoe polish all over his face. His house were dressing as cops and robbers, and he had come dressed as a robber. Yes folks, Ross had "blacked-up" for the occasion. Completely oblivious as to the mixture of hilarity and shock that his attire had created, it soon dawned upon him that absolutely no-one else in the entire year thought the shoe polish represented soot from coming down a chimney, in order to rob a house. Unaware of the severe racist stereotyping of his costume, he must be the only person known to man to accidently black-up. It's up there with my favourite memories of school. The whole day itself was superb, kick-started by that moment. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewanLTID Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 (edited) I went to a Catholic school, so that was a pretty good excuse for them to pin Irish flags up in the lunch hall on St. Patrick's Day. They'd been put up a few days before and everyone was told it was to mark the occasion, we also had Vatican flags for the Pope's visit. However, they usually just had flags representing the nationalities of teachers and pupils at the school (Canada, South Africa, England and a few others). I thought the tricolour idea was a load of bollocks, tbh. Anyway, one of my pals came in with a Union Jack with 'GORGIE AGGRO SDL' plastered over it with a black marker pen, whic he'd done in the common room. He pinned it up on the top balcony where everyone could see it. It looked scummy as f**k tbh, but all of the apologist weegie teachers in our school (about 85%) were furious, as were a few other belms. For this reason I thought it was quite funny as ewanLTID doesn't do mock-outrage. Pal got suspended for the rest of the week, think he's unemployed now. Someone also shat their pants in Geography in S2. That was about it - my school was shit. Edit: kinda bored, here's a picture of my graduation: Edited February 17, 2012 by ewanLTID 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staggy4life Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Can't think of many stories just now off the top of my head but we had some strange teachers at Tain. Ms.Hill a history teacher, who would suck her thumb in front of the class for about 5 minutes and then lock herself in the stationary cupboard at the back of the class for the rest of the period. I heard a couple years ago she was put in a mental home but I think she's died now. Mr.Turnbull an English teacher, who has no toes due to a lawn mower accident would quite regularly eat jars of Helmans mayonnaise with a spoon, during class. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy85 Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I was at Queen Anne in Dunfermline so it's a 99.99999% certainty. One of our PE teachers also played for Brechin at the time which was pretty decent for complimentary tickets but pretty crap supporting a team so shite that your teacher plays for them. He certainly played your mob in the league though. That would have been Dougie Coulston then? He never tired of bringing up a game against Rangers at when Brechin drew them in the cup. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoBNob Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I mind my old Business management teacher Mr Wilson went apeshit one day at some stuck up wee hoor and threw a chair, narrowly missing many pupils. Sound guy though, always had a laugh with him but when he went off on one, he blew up like a volcanoe. Mind another day the fire alarm went off 3 or 4 times in a row just as everyone was getting back to class. Was hilarious as there was a class who were in swimming and stood freezing for ages. Mind a big group from St Columbus came up to kick off and half the school chased them back to Aberdour Road St Columbus went to Dunfermline high? At one point when I was in second year it kicked off so badly over a couple of days that on the third day there was riot vans etc waiting outside both schools for them coming out. Our headteacher came to our scottish cup game in dunfermline one time. We got 4 boys sent off and the match abandoned. The team wasn't allowed to play another game. What school were you playing? -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattydfc Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 (edited) What school were you playing? Really couldn't tell you. They had like an Astro turf pitch type thing on their grounds though. And a big huge centre forward. But my school team was so shit, so we just kicked people. I did score in that game though. Edited February 17, 2012 by mattydfc 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McKee Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 (edited) How many schools in this country do you think are named St. Columbas? There are 2 in Inverclyde alone. Edited February 17, 2012 by McKee 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattydfc Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 How many schools in this country do you think are named St. Columbas? There are 2 in Inverclyde alone. There's a primary school called st columbas in dundee 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10 CC ICT Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 How many pupils pissed themselves to avoid getting off with a girl? Maybe this needs it's own topic with a vote? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10 CC ICT Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 How many pupils pissed themselves to avoid getting off with a girl? Maybe this needs it's own topic with a vote? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McKee Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Half-literates of the forum should refrain from trying to communicate with me. They shan't be held in attention. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kejan Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 (edited) I was god awful at Technical Workshop and constantly scrapping by( if even that) with 4s and the odd 3s. Our teacher went off with stress and we got the subby in. With our main teacher off on the sick and being fed up scoring 4s, general pathetic at making stuff, I seen a chance to shine. I decided to steal the template from his drawer (he left the key). Roll on a few weeks and we finished our project. We were making towel racks. Well, the subby teacher who was none the wiser to there even being a template, was very impressed and couldn't understand how the teacher kept giving me 4s. He felt it was so good that he wanted me to pose with the towel rack for the 'Hall of fame' for the year. So was up there for the calendar year posing with my trophy and Mr Baird's template. Another teacher who went off sick before eventually retiring due to stress. We went through about 6 months of subby teacher after subby teacher. Another Monday came around and expecting another new face. Our new teacher turned up - he was around 60, spoke with a broadish east coast accent and seemed to be like an aged and alive Elvis Pressley with a slick Teddyboy hair doo. He looked hardcore and a face like thunder. I think most of us were a bit fearful of the new dude just from his swagger and face alone. He steps into the class room, closes the door and greets us with ''I'm Mr Nolan and I'm not your average substitute teacher''. At this point, I'm thinking of the moment Leopold (Super nintendo Chalmers' boss) from the Simpsons comes in to Bart's class after they too had gone through subsitute teacher after teacher to annouce this was teacher they won't mess with etc and I think most of us were thinking the same. After sitting down and generally looking quite intimidating, he propped up with ''I do things a bit different around here''. Well, how wrong was the first impression. His first lesson involved him telling us about his life, how he travelled around the west coast of USA, how when he ordered 20 Marlboros in some shop straight on his arrival, how he got in the pants of the 'most beautiful girl he'd ever seen' whilst jet-lagged and continued to tell us on our first lesson about his life history. This was a recurring activity for the rest of the 3 months he was scheduled in for. Every lesson involved him starting by talking about his week, life, music, travels and he'd even take a Q and A session after each subject. His method of teaching us Maths involved the last 5 minutes of class him putting the answers up on the board and saying that If we don't mention the lack of learning, then he won't and he'll give us the answers. Of course we all pretty much failed solidy as although we were given the answers from textbooks and past papers we didn't have an actual scooby on how to get the answer. We started as a general-credit Maths class and ended up worse than the foundation group. Edited February 17, 2012 by Kejan 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Half-literates of the forum should refrain from trying to communicate with me. They shan't be held in attention. I'm fairly literate so I'd like to advise you that you are a total fanny. Stop trying to be vikingTon. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long live the 69 Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Half-literates of the forum should refrain from trying to communicate with me. They shan't be held in attention. You're 16 or 17 right? You joined this fine institution in December 2009, when you were 14 or 15 at the time? Sad. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 (edited) That would have been Dougie Coulston then? He never tired of bringing up a game against Rangers at when Brechin drew them in the cup. Indeed Link: "The Third Division side almost upset the odds when Stefan Klos dropped a cross from Roddy Grant at the feet of Douglas Coulston but the German goalkeeper made amends with a point-blank save." Another memory flash: I used to have an old CDT teacher (Mr Malcolm) who used to constantly refer to the little "yellow bookie" which we all had and was full of Q&As. He made it very clear that if we asked a question that was in the yellow bookie then we would have to hug the big wooden box in the corner of the room. We all thought he was joking until one guy asked and ended up hugging this box for the best part of a double-period. He would also go nuts if you called a rule a ruler. Edited February 17, 2012 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mallo_Madrid Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Half-literates of the forum should refrain from trying to communicate with me. They shan't be held in attention. To me, McKee. You come across as a thesaurus w****r. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McKee Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Half-literates of the forum are reminded they are not permitted to initiate conversation with me. For a full list of those who are, please contact my liason Geoff. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotThePars Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Our history teacher Mr Pointer after he lost a bet over which students would pass the prelim. He still owes me a pint. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Mr.Turnbull an English teacher, who has no toes due to a lawn mower accident would quite regularly eat jars of Helmans mayonnaise with a spoon, during class. Well, he could hardly use his toes, could he? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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