wunfellaff Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 I'm just in the door from a fine Edinburgh establishment by the name of the Phoenix. It's USP is definately it's jukey but table dancing? Been drinking there since I was about 16 and have quite a rapport with its famous bald propriator but didn't know it's sordid history. Or am I thinking of a different place? Right place , goin back a good while though. Very good at switching off the cctv in certain circumstances back then too was John , my favourite boozer in the city. Wish they had never put that feckin bannister up though, much better open plan. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YOGI IS GOD Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 I remember fondly Int 1 Computing, all the computers had a programme called "Write Out Loud" which read out everything you typed into it. Everyone in class put the volume full up and it was like surround sound Stephen Hawking and you could write whatever you wanted about the teacher and they couldn't tell who typed it. A guy in my primary once sneaked back into the classroom during lunchtime and did a jobby on one of the seats, the smell shall stay with me till my dying day. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tam M Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 I don't really remember much from High School, but this is one that sticks in my mind. I remember reading the NOTW one day and was suprised to see a photo of my Chemistry teacher, who was also the Head of the Department. She was being accused of holding some serbian guy hostage in her house. Here is the link to the story: http://www.thefreelibrary.com/WEB+OF+DECEIT%3B+DATING+BLAME+-+Teacher+played+dead+to+end+internet...-a0118087080 She was always on the computer in the class on Yahoo mail. She never returned whilst I was still there, but the next day I put it upon myself to place and advertisement on the School Noticeboard saying: Head of Chemistry Teacher Required... Free Access To All Sex Chatrooms. The other teachers took it down but could see them trying to keep a straight face. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GingerSaint Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 My Headteacher is in jail for child pornography. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drooper Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 One of my old english teachers once said he was going to the photocopier and would be back in five minutes. He came back an hour later with a haircut. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotThePars Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 My Headteacher is in jail for child pornography. He got out over a year ago, he's probably reading this right now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Troll Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 My Headteacher is in jail for child pornography. My old English teacher ( ok to mention names?) was caught having flings with female students twice. The second time it happened he jamp off the Forth Road Bridge 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
)typically Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 Nothing that interesting happened at my school but one of my old English teachers (supply teacher) is now a comedy writer for Craig Ferguson's late show in the States. He also appeared in Rab C Nesbit once and had a brief spell as a stand up comedian, appearing on some talent show doing a skit about alka seltzer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Islay Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 Quite a few stories but I will reminisce about one particular one just now. You could get away with quite a considerable amount with one of the French teachers at DHS. He was ridiculously sound and managed to get his students to learn while enjoying the class at the same time. I remember not wanting to perform my French speaking test for a part of the Standard grade assessments. No idea why, I just remember really not wanting to do it and was thinking of ways of getting out of it. I attempted to put it off for as long as possible and after about 90% of the class had been assessed he asked me if I wanted to get mine over and done with. For some inexplicable reason I just said with a very confused look on my face that I had done the test with him the week before. A complete lie but I winged it and described the entire fake situation with some nice detail of doing the test and informed him he had given me a grade 2 (I didn't want to risk saying a Grade 1 so I thought I would settle for a 2). He looked as bemused as I did as to why there was no grade next to my name. I must have been convincing as he then wrote a 2 next to my name and went after the others who had not performed the test. I saw him shopping in Dunfermline about a week ago, he hasn't aged a bit. A timeless hero. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 (edited) For some inexplicable reason I just said with a very confused look on my face that I had done the test with him the week before. I did a similar stupid thing in SG Art. I got bored of drawing green bottles of the start of 3rd year and decided to do one in red for a laugh. When my teacher asked me quite angrily why the hell I'd done that, being on the spot I proceeded to tell her that I was colour blind. She was immediately sorry but when half the class started giggling, she shouted 'It's not funny! How would you like it to be colour blind...!!!" at them all. Problem was I had to keep this story up and I succeeded for a couple of months before I was busted. Thankfully she found it rather entertaining which was pretty out of character and confusing to be honest. Edited February 11, 2012 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Legend SMFC Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 One of my old english teachers once said he was going to the photocopier and would be back in five minutes. He came back an hour later with a haircut. During one of my younger years in high school, our French teacher Mr Scott said he was "going to the base for two minutes" and we actually never seen him again. Turns out he was caught having his sausage smoked, by the department head & was subsequently punted! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bullywee Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 (edited) one of the techy teachers i had left his wife for a pupil he used to teach. another techy teacher went to prison for child porn offences. yet another techy teaher almost got sacked for winching a pupil in the hamilton palace. i was taught PE in 6th year by queens park's very own jamie longworth. another PE teacher i had, who also happens to be tommy sheridan's nephew, got done for paedophilia, but managed to avoid jail. as you can probably tell, strathaven academy is a pretty box-office school. Edited February 12, 2012 by bullywee 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteamingparBoz Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 Quite a few stories but I will reminisce about one particular one just now. You could get away with quite a considerable amount with one of the French teachers at DHS. He was ridiculously sound and managed to get his students to learn while enjoying the class at the same time. I remember not wanting to perform my French speaking test for a part of the Standard grade assessments. No idea why, I just remember really not wanting to do it and was thinking of ways of getting out of it. I attempted to put it off for as long as possible and after about 90% of the class had been assessed he asked me if I wanted to get mine over and done with. For some inexplicable reason I just said with a very confused look on my face that I had done the test with him the week before. A complete lie but I winged it and described the entire fake situation with some nice detail of doing the test and informed him he had given me a grade 2 (I didn't want to risk saying a Grade 1 so I thought I would settle for a 2). He looked as bemused as I did as to why there was no grade next to my name. I must have been convincing as he then wrote a 2 next to my name and went after the others who had not performed the test. I saw him shopping in Dunfermline about a week ago, he hasn't aged a bit. A timeless hero. Was it Smeato? Smeato is an absolute legend! Doolan was the other one I remember, googly eyes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 Quite a few stories but I will reminisce about one particular one just now. You could get away with quite a considerable amount with one of the French teachers at DHS. He was ridiculously sound and managed to get his students to learn while enjoying the class at the same time. I remember not wanting to perform my French speaking test for a part of the Standard grade assessments. No idea why, I just remember really not wanting to do it and was thinking of ways of getting out of it. I attempted to put it off for as long as possible and after about 90% of the class had been assessed he asked me if I wanted to get mine over and done with. For some inexplicable reason I just said with a very confused look on my face that I had done the test with him the week before. A complete lie but I winged it and described the entire fake situation with some nice detail of doing the test and informed him he had given me a grade 2 (I didn't want to risk saying a Grade 1 so I thought I would settle for a 2). He looked as bemused as I did as to why there was no grade next to my name. I must have been convincing as he then wrote a 2 next to my name and went after the others who had not performed the test. I saw him shopping in Dunfermline about a week ago, he hasn't aged a bit. A timeless hero. That could be Smeaton? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 The only exam I failed at school was 1st year art. I'm no Rembrandt, but I did learn the trick of drying the brush between changing colours. Me and half the lads in the class were cheeky b*****ds. In the exam, we had to draw a picture of something, can't remember what. The pass mark for the exam was 45%.... all the bad lads but me received exactly 45% for their picture. My score? 44%. What a cow. How the hell can you even give a picture a score out of 100? And the teacher's name? Miss Fair 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosser-fae-the-shire Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 Nothing that interesting happened at my school but one of my old English teachers (supply teacher) is now a comedy writer for Craig Ferguson's late show in the States. He also appeared in Rab C Nesbit once and had a brief spell as a stand up comedian, appearing on some talent show doing a Initials PM? I had him for French in first year. He was fuckin bonkers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 The only interesting thing that happened to me at school was our physics teacher. Camp as a row of tents, yet he still managed to be a dour b*****d. What we didn't know was that he had a part-time job as a TV presenter / newsreader on UTV (think a Northern Irish Jackie Bird).... of course, once he appeared on prime-time ITV, we all knew about it. Obviously, we were all quite awestruck that someone so boring and miserable did something so interesting. But the grumpy git never answered one of our questions, and never even acknowledged the fact that he was on the telly. What's more, he is the only teacher I've EVER had that made you work on the last day of term rather than just playing games Here he is in all his camp glory. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
)typically Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 Initials PM? I had him for French in first year. He was fuckin bonkers. Correct. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
latapythelegend Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 Our old RE teacher at Larbert High got abused on a regular basis for supposedly being a peadophile. One day in 2nd year, little Sean McArthur didn't like the fact that Mr Sunderland made eye contact with him so stood up and decided to launch his chair at him. Safe to say this drove mr Sunderland to the edge and he left the school. His replacement, Mr Johnson, was actually one of the soundest teachers you will meet and quite ironically has been done for child pornography. Also a 1st year girl with alapechia was dishing out gams in the disabled toilets last week supposedly. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael W Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 My old English teacher ( ok to mention names?) was caught having flings with female students twice. The second time it happened he jamp off the Forth Road Bridge He is also absolutely seething with your description of his death. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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