What Was The Last Movie You Watched?

[cowboy]

On 12/12/2016 at 06:36, happysouth said:

41 - a low budget time travel/multi dimension movie. Where the means of travel is a hole in the bathroom floor of a motel room (room 41). I thought it was really pretty good.

7.5/10

Full movie here...
 

 

just watched this in your link, what a great film, and one of the few where i never guessed the twist at the end beforehand 

[wellinwigan]

Office Christmas party

Not good at all

3/10

[jester]

Rogue One

Smart, funny, reverential, good characters, great story. All killer, no filler.

10/10

 

[Jack Burton]

Watched unthinkable on Netflix the outher night good film Samuel l Jackson and Michael sheen about an American terrorist that's planted 3 bombs in different city's

Watched this recently due to it having a fairly decent cast. Thought it was just ok nothing special.

[Christophe]

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story 3/10

Or: Where'd Ya Get Tha Plans Artoo? 

Gonna put this in spoilers as i'm going to get baw deep into the plot here...

 Episode 3.5 of the Star Wars franchise begins nicely enough with a lovely tracking shot of an Imperial flying snooker triangle coming into the atmosphere of a planet that looks like something out of F Zero X. Mads Mikkelsen, his soon to be dead wife, and their Very Important Daughter live here, tending a football pitch in the middle of a planet that is ostensibly dirt. A camp Brit gets out of the snooker triangle with his hard mates and some tart dialogue ensues. Dead wife gets dead, Mads gets captured, but daughter hides in a hole and is found by Forrest Whittaker in a Mega Man suit. So far so so.

Cut forward 15 years we see very important daughter has grown up to be Jyn, our sulky female protagonist. Let me say this now: this film contains tonnes of the worst acting I have seen in a long time and the chief shit actor is the star. She makes the star of the last one look like Helen Mirren doing Lady Macbeth. Jyn is a prisoner and some shit happens where she gets freed and also there's a parallel story where Riz Ahmed (the main one from Four Lions) is looking for some bloke with a weird name because he has an URGENT message. But the guy with the weird name's mates stick a bag over his head. Guantanamo! Politics! REAL!

The Imperial lot are building the Death Star but the main weapon is still in beta mode. The camp Brit has a boss who is less camp but has an impressively taut old man face. (It is digital Peter Cushing!) 

Meanwhile the rebels are in disarray and they need to chat to Forrest Whittaker (who has the weird name and is holding Riz Ahmed in a cell with a massive slug) and Jyn is their bargaining chip, but because she's sulky (or is that just her face?) she is also reluctant and tuff. We see this where she has constant banter with the anonymous no mark who is a sort of complex hero but is actually just a loser, and a gay robot who is very good at the gay robot bit and is probably the best character here. 

At this point: this film could be on its way to being good. I'm being irreverent in my write-up but they've set up a complex situation. Forrest Whittaker is also a rebel, but he's seceded and is a militant. His mates all seem too close to being actual Arabs for it not to be some kind of real life analogy. But the Rebel Council seem somewhat dubious and directionless. Kind of like our current centre/centre-left politicians. They're not the hopeful sort we see in the new film or the original tril. How might this play out? 

When Nomark and Jyn and Gaybot get to the planet where Forrest lives we see the best shot in the film: a star destroyer hovering over the cliff-top city. Wandering around the city Jyn happens to chat to a blind Chineseman who speaks in the kindness of runes that Jedis do...could he be? (YES)

Our protags suddenly find themselves in the middle of a commie attack on the Imperials and our main guys help the commies (except I am sure Nomark ices one of his own team) and the Chinese Jedi (see) and his hard mate help them out somewhat.

Eventually Jyn and Nomark (oh yeah, Nomark is secretly battling with the fact he has been secretly instructed to actually kill her dad and Forrest! The Rebels - not what they seem!) get to Forrest and see the message: it's Jyn's dad, still alive, and working as an Imperial Scientist. In fact - WHAT ARE THE ODDS - he has built the Death Star. Can talented people only be related to other talented people in this fucking dimension. FUUUUUCK OFFFFF. Anyway, he has built into the Death Star a flaw that it will take all of Episode IV to kill.

Then the Imperials decide to hilariously test their weapon on the city their soldiers just abandoned and that our heroes near. BANG! IT'S GONE! JUST LIKE DAKOTA UNDER A RAFT OF PIPES! But all the heroes escape, except the real hero of this film, wheezing metal-footed fallen comrade Forrest Whittaker, who martyrs himself in the explosion and thus ruins any chance of moral complication from here on in because our heroes must be ethically if-not-actually white. 

The next bit is kind of boring and kind of repetitive. They go to where Mads Mikkelsen is. He tells the camp Brit that he has been sending messages to the Rebels, but the camp Brit has a weird affection for Mads but also killing his pals in front of him, so he kills 7 defenceless engineers (TRUMP IS AGAINST CLIMATE CHANGE!)

Our heroes are here to try and haul him away and (except Nomark, who is trying to kill him...but starting to catch some serious BONER FEELINGS so demurs when he has him in the crosshairs) off the planet, but it goes wrong as the Rebel fleet turn up and kill Mads in some friendly fire. But all of the heroes get away, and Jyn gets time with her dad before he dies.

Back at the Rebel Council Jyn is all I SEEN DA MESSAGE I KNOW ABOUT THE DEATH STAR and everyone is like oh get you and she is like HONESTLY and the Rebels are all "shall we disband? Is that a credible strategy seeing how they track everyone who ever so much as sent them a mean text  and kick them in the bollocks in front of their family and their gods?" And some of them are like "yeah I think it is actually!". So the Rebels decide not to question May  in the commons/attack the f**k out of the Federation right up their bollocks. REAL LIFE! No wonder Trump was afraid!

As she walks off in a huff, Nomark and a posse have decided to break ranks and go for it. They nick a ship (one of many well-plotted conveniences: it is an enemy ship) and get through a massive space gate to the planet where the Imperial MOD is.

From here on in it's a war film, a boring war film. Their objective: to get the plans and send a SPACE EMAIL with the plans. They can hyperdrive ships and make laser swords but Dropbox and hacking do not exist here. FFS. Aligning an antenna. FFS.

Do they do it? Of course they do. Is it tense? No. By necessity we know they must do it and must not survive, which they do and don't. Kind of kills the drama and all in service of SPACE EMAIL. 

It is also hokey as f**k. Worst scene: pinned down against a wave of crackshot superstormtroopers but needing to flick a master switch (seriously, their objectives in the last 30 minutes are SO FUCKING BORING), Chinajedi just walks out chanting and suddenly all these crackshots can't buy a kill. He flicks the switch using the force to save him (not using the force to move the switch) and then gets killed. His mate runs out into the same open territory to hug him...and doesn't get shot. He even manages to get a few off himself before eventually dying. POO.

In all of this you can tell they had no real plans for Riz Ahmed. I can honestly not remember what happens to his character. I think he dies. Probably in an explosion.

Anyway, the Rebel Alliance appear in the last 30 and the complicating factors about their ineptitude, duplicity, friendly fire disasters, lack of cohesion, and general oafishness are played down because they got the plans via SPACE EMAIL and got out of there, just in the nick of time, like everything has to happen.

The Imperial lot test the Death Star by blowing up their own base.  Nomark and Jyn actually hug and kiss on a beach like they're about to get down to it in a cheesy 80s porn film, but there's a tsunami heading in to kill every last c**t still breathing. Which it does. The end. 

It is a hackneyed, dribbling piece of drivel designed to sell toys to idiots and anyone who enjoys this is suspect to me.

There isn't a remarkable moment, character, or line in this film. It is just product. Artless product.

Edited December 17, 2016 by Christophe

[killiepiemuncher]

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story 3/10
Or: Where'd Ya Get Tha Plans Artoo? 
Gonna put this in spoilers as i'm going to get baw deep into the plot here...

 Episode 3.5 of the Star Wars franchise begins nicely enough with a lovely tracking shot of an Imperial flying snooker triangle coming into the atmosphere of a planet that looks like something out of F Zero X. Mads Mikkelsen, his soon to be dead wife, and their Very Important Daughter live here, tending a football pitch in the middle of a planet that is ostensibly dirt. A camp Brit gets out of the snooker triangle with his hard mates and some tart dialogue ensues. Dead wife gets dead, Mads gets captured, but daughter hides in a hole and is found by Forrest Whittaker in a Mega Man suit. So far so so.
Cut forward 15 years we see very important daughter has grown up to be Jyn, our sulky female protagonist. Let me say this now: this film contains tonnes of the worst acting I have seen in a long time and the chief shit actor is the star. She makes the star of the last one look like Helen Mirren doing Lady Macbeth. Jyn is a prisoner and some shit happens where she gets freed and also there's a parallel story where Riz Ahmed (the main one from Four Lions) is looking for some bloke with a weird name because he has an URGENT message. But the guy with the weird name's mates stick a bag over his head. Guantanamo! Politics! REAL!
The Imperial lot are building the Death Star but the main weapon is still in beta mode. The camp Brit has a boss who is less camp but has an impressively taut old man face. (It is digital Peter Cushing!) 
Meanwhile the rebels are in disarray and they need to chat to Forrest Whittaker (who has the weird name and is holding Riz Ahmed in a cell with a massive slug) and Jyn is their bargaining chip, but because she's sulky (or is that just her face?) she is also reluctant and tuff. We see this where she has constant banter with the anonymous no mark who is a sort of complex hero but is actually just a loser, and a gay robot who is very good at the gay robot bit and is probably the best character here. 
At this point: this film could be on its way to being good. I'm being irreverent in my write-up but they've set up a complex situation. Forrest Whittaker is also a rebel, but he's seceded and is a militant. His mates all seem too close to being actual Arabs for it not to be some kind of real life analogy. But the Rebel Council seem somewhat dubious and directionless. Kind of like our current centre/centre-left politicians. They're not the hopeful sort we see in the new film or the original tril. How might this play out? 
When Nomark and Jyn and Gaybot get to the planet where Forrest lives we see the best shot in the film: a star destroyer hovering over the cliff-top city. Wandering around the city Jyn happens to chat to a blind Chineseman who speaks in the kindness of runes that Jedis do...could he be? (YES)
Our protags suddenly find themselves in the middle of a commie attack on the Imperials and our main guys help the commies (except I am sure Nomark ices one of his own team) and the Chinese Jedi (see) and his hard mate help them out somewhat.
Eventually Jyn and Nomark (oh yeah, Nomark is secretly battling with the fact he has been secretly instructed to actually kill her dad and Forrest! The Rebels - not what they seem!) get to Forrest and see the message: it's Jyn's dad, still alive, and working as an Imperial Scientist. In fact - WHAT ARE THE ODDS - he has built the Death Star. Can talented people only be related to other talented people in this fucking dimension. FUUUUUCK OFFFFF. Anyway, he has built into the Death Star a flaw that it will take all of Episode IV to kill.
Then the Imperials decide to hilariously test their weapon on the city their soldiers just abandoned and that our heroes near. BANG! IT'S GONE! JUST LIKE DAKOTA UNDER A RAFT OF PIPES! But all the heroes escape, except the real hero of this film, wheezing metal-footed fallen comrade Forrest Whittaker, who martyrs himself in the explosion and thus ruins any chance of moral complication from here on in because our heroes must be ethically if-not-actually white. 
The next bit is kind of boring and kind of repetitive. They go to where Mads Mikkelsen is. He tells the camp Brit that he has been sending messages to the Rebels, but the camp Brit has a weird affection for Mads but also killing his pals in front of him, so he kills 7 defenceless engineers (TRUMP IS AGAINST CLIMATE CHANGE!)
Our heroes are here to try and haul him away and (except Nomark, who is trying to kill him...but starting to catch some serious BONER FEELINGS so demurs when he has him in the crosshairs) off the planet, but it goes wrong as the Rebel fleet turn up and kill Mads in some friendly fire. But all of the heroes get away, and Jyn gets time with her dad before he dies.
Back at the Rebel Council Jyn is all I SEEN DA MESSAGE I KNOW ABOUT THE DEATH STAR and everyone is like oh get you and she is like HONESTLY and the Rebels are all "shall we disband? Is that a credible strategy seeing how they track everyone who ever so much as sent them a mean text  and kick them in the bollocks in front of their family and their gods?" And some of them are like "yeah I think it is actually!". So the Rebels decide not to question May  in the commons/attack the f**k out of the Federation right up their bollocks. REAL LIFE! No wonder Trump was afraid!
As she walks off in a huff, Nomark and a posse have decided to break ranks and go for it. They nick a ship (one of many well-plotted conveniences: it is an enemy ship) and get through a massive space gate to the planet where the Imperial MOD is.
From here on in it's a war film, a boring war film. Their objective: to get the plans and send a SPACE EMAIL with the plans. They can hyperdrive ships and make laser swords but Dropbox and hacking do not exist here. FFS. Aligning an antenna. FFS.
Do they do it? Of course they do. Is it tense? No. By necessity we know they must do it and must not survive, which they do and don't. Kind of kills the drama and all in service of SPACE EMAIL. 
It is also hokey as f**k. Worst scene: pinned down against a wave of crackshot superstormtroopers but needing to flick a master switch (seriously, their objectives in the last 30 minutes are SO FUCKING BORING), Chinajedi just walks out chanting and suddenly all these crackshots can't buy a kill. He flicks the switch using the force to save him (not using the force to move the switch) and then gets killed. His mate runs out into the same open territory to hug him...and doesn't get shot. He even manages to get a few off himself before eventually dying. POO.
In all of this you can tell they had no real plans for Riz Ahmed. I can honestly not remember what happens to his character. I think he dies. Probably in an explosion.
Anyway, the Rebel Alliance appear in the last 30 and the complicating factors about their ineptitude, duplicity, friendly fire disasters, lack of cohesion, and general oafishness are played down because they got the plans via SPACE EMAIL and got out of there, just in the nick of time, like everything has to happen.
The Imperial lot test the Death Star by blowing up their own base.  Nomark and Jyn actually hug and kiss on a beach like they're about to get down to it in a cheesy 80s porn film, but there's a tsunami heading in to kill every last c**t still breathing. Which it does. The end. 
It is a hackneyed, dribbling piece of drivel designed to sell toys to idiots and anyone who enjoys this is suspect to me.
There isn't a remarkable moment, character, or line in this film. It is just product. Artless product.

So you didnay like it then.

[Ira Gaines]

What a lot of utter shite [emoji38]

[jimmy boo]

Can anyone confirm if that is the longest post in the history of P& B?

[Mark Connolly]

Just as well it was in spoilers in the original post or I'd need to have the film spoiled twice.

Cheers lads.

[Christophe]

Joy 8.7/10

So good! Can't believe those bloody plastic b*****ds though

[Shandon Par]

On 12/15/2016 at 22:23, Swordfishtrombone said:

If you liked the film, which is brilliant and the only good James Ellroy adaptation out there, then you should read the book.  It is set over a far longer period of time and the character played by Kevin Spacey takes far greater prominence. James Ellroy novels can be hard work at times but this is one I couldn't put down. The director did a great job with the film because I'm sure it was considered 'unfilmable.' My favourite neo-noir is 'The Long Goodbye' with Elliot Gould being cool as f**k as Philip Marlowe.

Someone really needs to get a properly decent Ellroy adaptation done. The books feel so cinematic but the film adaptions to date don't do them justice. 

 

 

[mizfit]

Fantastic Beasts and where to find them. 

 

Not the best, too long 5-10

[Cerberus]

Glory.

1980s American civil war movie about the first black regiment.

It was pretty good. Denzel Washington and Matthew Broderick give good performances.
It's a shame Matthew Broderick's career dived on the back of a few shite film choices.
8/10

[GordonD]

On 16/12/2016 at 06:42, wellinwigan said:

Office Christmas party

Not good at all

3/10

From the title alone it sounds like a film you'd only enjoy if you were pished. Like an actual office Christmas party.

[killiepiemuncher]

Office Christmas party
Not good at all
3/10

From the title alone it sounds like a film you'd only enjoy if you were pished. Like an actual office Christmas party.

Jenifer Aniston looking damn fine is the only saving grace in this movie.

[Christophe]

Shin Godzilla 7/10

Basically (another) reboot of the Godzilla franchise. Where it lacks in special effects (some of the CGI is a bit obvious) and script (there are some really cartoonish moments between the characters) it makes up for in a truly believable and compelling story. It's basically a procedural on what Japan would do in the event of a natural disaster rather than the insane ADD films of the Millenium films. It has more in common with the Andromeda Strain or Contamination than the most recent Hollywood Godzilla and it's all the better for it. Godzilla itself during the better rendered moments is awesome, and conceptually Tohoscope have done a fine job in the re-invention. 

[Christophe]

On 17/12/2016 at 23:38, killiepiemuncher said:

 

So you didnay like it then.

 

I liked 30% of it just fine.

I didn't care about the lore of the Star Wars universe or how it fit in etc. I didn't care about how it reflected real life politics (I was just messing with my analysis, it's not a deep film at all). I just wanted to see a good film and think there was a decent film probably at some stage that got lost somewhere between pre-production and re-shoot.

Just remembered how corny all the fight scenes are too. Seriously, the bit where the Chinese guy goes all bullet time in the market is cringe. Home Alone had better violence.

[BFTD]

2 hours ago, Christophe said:

Shin Godzilla 7/10

Basically (another) reboot of the Godzilla franchise. Where it lacks in special effects (some of the CGI is a bit obvious) and script (there are some really cartoonish moments between the characters) it makes up for in a truly believable and compelling story. It's basically a procedural on what Japan would do in the event of a natural disaster rather than the insane ADD films of the Millenium films. It has more in common with the Andromeda Strain or Contamination than the most recent Hollywood Godzilla and it's all the better for it. Godzilla itself during the better rendered moments is awesome, and conceptually Tohoscope have done a fine job in the re-invention. 

I've been looking forward to seeing that. Sounds just like my cup of tea, from what you've said. Anyway...

Bone Tomahawk - four men set out to rescue a group of people snatched from their Wild West settlement by a clan of savage natives.

The Searchers meets Cannibal Holocaust. What's not to like? Remarkably good horror Western with an outstanding cast putting in some excellent performances, as our heroes' doomed journey gradually goes from bad to worse. The denouement couldn't possibly live up to the built-up anticipation, but it has a damned good go, with the shit suddenly hitting the fan in a variety of surprising and grisly ways. Great stuff, but probably not one to put on for your Western-loving granny after Christmas dinner  

[Christophe]

John Wick 7/10

Bad men kill former hit-man Keanu Reeves' dog and steal his car. He gets back into the killing game by going after the bad men and there's some sort of weird hit-man code/club thing going on as a side story. Ludicrous action, obviously VERY tongue-in-cheek and pretty good fun

[Christophe]

Spectral 5/10?(I guess)

What's the idea with these Netflix films? I mean is anyone paying £7.99 a month on the off chance that Emily Mortimer is going to be in a random film? It's a solid character actor cast and must have cost a lot to make so why do they do it? It's not like the in-house series' that they ad the shit out of and will see sub returns on, I never hear anything about these films