What Was The Last Movie You Watched?

[Silvio Tattiescone]

The Big Man

 

Liam Neeson gets offered money to fight a guy.

His wife says dinnae. 

He starts training.

She fucks off with the kids and shags Hugh Grant.

Neeson fights the guy, gets a sair pus and a bag of money.

His wife comes back and says she doesn't want the money.

Neeson gives the money back.

 

Seems to me the film basically amounts to Neeson getting a sair pus and his wife shags around behind his back.

[djchapsticks]

Went and saw Mario today with my stepdaughter's wee girl.

It comes full circle. As a 9 year old, I went in 1993 to see the Mario movie with my dad and was absolutely beyond buzzing as a massive Nintendo and Mario franchise fan. The Wizard had been my undoubted favourite film as a child so It was a dream to see Mario on the big screen...I came out of the cinema wondering WTF I had watched.

30 years later, I went and watched the new movie with a 10 year old family member of my own and it was everything that I had hoped at her age it would be back in 1993. It's an easy watch, nothing complicated or cynical in there, not even a nudge nudge to the parents in the audience as it didn't really need it - the nostalgic Nintendo references were enough to raise a smile. Was visually very nice, amazingly animated, musically wonderful (as it's the Mario score FFS) and definitely not warranting the criticism that journalists seem intent on throwing its way. A good wee easy watch that will set up for an entire line of Nintendo movies given the performance of its first weekend and I'm all for that happening.

7.5/10. Would watch again.

[DeeTillEhDeh]

Attempted to watch Banshees of Inisherin - genuinely bored by it.

The odd chuckle and some good acting but god it was life-draining.

[RuMoore]

Kidulthood- 9.5/10

Adulthood - 7/10

Anuvahood - 8/10

[velo army]

On 09/04/2023 at 19:48, Newbornbairn said:

The Big Man

 

Liam Neeson gets offered money to fight a guy.

His wife says dinnae. 

He starts training.

She fucks off with the kids and shags Hugh Grant.

Neeson fights the guy, gets a sair pus and a bag of money.

His wife comes back and says she doesn't want the money.

Neeson gives the money back.

 

Seems to me the film basically amounts to Neeson getting a sair pus and his wife shags around behind his back.

I haven't seen the film, but McIlvanney is my favourite author so I've read the novel mibbe three times (definitely twice).

Much of the genius of the book is in the descriptions of events and the inner workings of the characters. I don't imagine it translating that well to the big screen.

Obviously I recommend the book.

[accies1874]

14. God's Creatures - Cinema

This takes a long time to get going as it establishes the relationships between Brian and his maw as well as the simmering tensions in the village, but I quite enjoyed it once things got going. It is pretty standard overall and reminded me a lot of Beast from a few years ago in that there's a "dubious" predator at large and we get to see how a tight-knit community responds to him, but God's Creatures spin on that is is that (i) the alleged predator is exonerated by the community, and (ii) we watch the drama unfold from the perspective of the accused's mum. I liked that perspective; it felt pretty fresh and was actually quite interesting to think about. The instinctive protection, guilt, the doubt - they're all engaging emotions to watch between two people so close, and the film does a decent job of letting it all unravel at its own pace. Most of that is achieved through Emily Watson, and in particular her goddamn stares - boy can that woman stare. It can feel a bit hollow, and maybe it is, but I do need to account for the fact that it's also very reserved. The alleged victim is also given a decent amount of recognition within the film despite never being the focal point. That kind of plays in the background and informs the arc of the film until they gradually begin to converge. 

Minor complaint that might be my fault: I did struggle to make out what everyone was saying which can sometimes happen with Irish accents on film. That's balanced out by it being quite unconventionally good-looking; the colour palette is grimy yet it utilises a variety of different colours to give that effect which I liked. 

15. Godland - Cinema

Godland is a slow foreign (Danish-Icelandic) film about religion wonderfully shot in a grainy and vignetted 4:3 frame. It genuinely feels like it was plucked from the mid 20th century, despite being in colour. If that sounds like your bag then give it a go. 

Fairly early on, there's a nicely framed shot of the main character through a tent which made me think "nice shot", but then it's reversed to tell us something that plays throughout the whole film right up until the final act. It uses the Kuleshov Effect but cranks it up a notch to divert your attention onto the action playing out and the nice framing to ensure that the viewer is genuinely surprised when it's reversed. That's when I knew I was in for a wild ride. There are a lot of great, simple transitions and editing moments. Reverse shots, random shots, a sequence dedicated to erupting lava that doesn't affect the narrative in any way whatsoever - it's really impressive how they make the random make complete sense within the context of the story they're exploring. 

Something I found interesting in the first half was its approach to fleshing out the world. Of course, there are nice landscapes that actually reminded me of The Northman due to taking these landscapes and framing the characters and action in a way that makes them look insignificant against the backgrounds. However, what I found most interesting was how the world was fleshed out in closeups: the way they prepare food, how feet squelch on the marshy ground, the way the main character creates the wet plate photographs the entire film is based on. All these tiny wee details that help transport us into the world and also play into the ideas of nature/human nature vs religion. I'm not 100% sure why, but the concept of an incomplete church really played with my head (I'm not religious but I was thinking about it from the point of view of the characters). The film might not even be about any of this, but it's almost all told through a naturalistic script so you're left to make your own mind up through the characters' actions and the images. 

As soon as I saw the main character before even seeing the film, he immediately reminded me of the main dude from Mother Joan of the Angels - they have similar body shapes, fairly similar faces from a distance and both don a black cloak that is weirdly menacing given they're priests. Where this differs from Mother Joan, though, is that Godland doesn't have a scene like the long conversation between the priest and the rabbi. Instead, there are literal physical confrontations between characters at points - fights that are driven by established ideas. 

It flows in an interesting way too. The first hour or so is pretty brutal as the priest and some expeditioners travel to the mission, then it becomes somewhat pleasant (summed up by a shot that circles around an outdoor party) before coming to a natural conclusion that makes sense of everything that came before. There's a mishmash of tones too - headiness, humour, hopelessness - but they're nicely tied together under the banner of Odd. That overarching tone is what allows all of the others to exist in harmony. 

I wasn't necessarily emotionally invested, but I was completely engrossed by the filmmaking and ideas. It's probably the best 2023 release I've seen so far. 

[Savage Henry]

On 06/04/2023 at 04:53, scottsdad said:

Dungeons and dragons, Honour among thieves. 

I thoroughly enjoyed this. The trailer I saw at the cinema looked good, so we went. The trailer on TV made it look awful. But the final movie was fun, action and adventure with a lot of good comedy thrown in. Chris Pine was well cast and had most of the one liners. 

Coming out of the cinema the kids were babbling away about the film. So glad we chose this over Super Mario. 

I've never played the game, and you didn't need to to enjoy this. There might have been references for players in there I didn't see but I don't care. 

If you are looking for a fun movie to watch, I really do recommend this one. 

Against all my expectations, it was actually alright.  About an hour too long, but most films are.  Even Michelle Rodriguez singing garners a laugh. 

[MSU]

086 80 for Brady -- I hate the Patriots and I hate Tom Brady but I love Sally Field and I hoped that there'd be a few laughs to be had from this. Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Rita Moreno, and the aforementioned Sally Field star as four unlikeable elderly Pats and Brady fans who decide as a last hoorah to go to Super Bowl LI. There's the most meager of plots surrounding the means in which the ladies get tickets in the shadow of ill-health, but mostly this is an excuse to have multiple set pieces where the friends enter a wing-eating competition, play high stakes poker, consume edibles, and other activities which are supposed to be funny because the women are old and dottery. The movie also hopes that we've forgotten how that particular Super Bowl ended up. Really poor stuff. 3/10

087 Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum -- A Korean found footage horror movie, anyone? I had my doubts but it turned out to be an unexpected hit. The story might not be based on truth, but as far as I can make out, it's a real location that has its own real urban legends, so it's at least based on commonly accepted falsehoods. Gonjiam Psychiatric Hospital was closed down in the 1970s, but not because of any mass suicide from its patients as the movie would have you believe. A group of friends, filming for part of a web series called Horror Times, get all GoPro'd to the hilt and break into the abandoned hospital to film the ghostly goings-on. This means lots of close-up shots of a static face while the background moves about, a method that always freaks me out a bit at the best of times. It's a slow burn toward the denouement, which for me is not a bad thing at all, and all the way through there is a simmering level of dread that amplifies as the story progresses. The atmosphere of the dark hospital at night is pretty much perfect for scares and jumps and catching glimpses of weird shapes in the shadows. The subtitles are a bit rubbish but it's well-acted, genuinely scary, and the final third is nuts. 7/10

088 Murder Mystery 2 -- The first one hasn't lingered much in my memory but out of all the shite Adam Sandler movies, the ones that feature Jennifer Aniston seem to be slightly less shite. The two of them have good chemistry together, they just do. Nick and Audrey Spitz are invited to a private island and the wedding of a billionaire character who may or may not have been in the first movie -- I honestly can't remember -- along with some other characters I may or may not have been introduced to previously. It doesn't matter. Once all the potential suspects have shown up, the billionaire is kidnapped. Nick and Audrey, with the addition of Mark Strong's hostage negotiator, and the investigation leaps to Paris where matters that are already complicated take a few additional twists and turns. It's quite good fun while not being enormously funny, but a setpiece in a van in Paris makes it just about worthwhile. It's billed as 89 minutes long but there are 10 minutes of credits at the end and the miserly runtime is in its favor. I think I kinda liked it. 6/10 

089 Renfield -- Urgh. I'm not thinking much of Nicholas Cage's cosplay adventures so far in 2023. I really didn't like his cowboy movie The Old Way, and I really didn't care much for him being a vampire in this. Nicolas Hoult plays the same sort of character as he does in everything I've seen him in, only this time he's called Renfield and he's Dracula's "familiar" -- basically a servant who ensures his master is looked after (not like that) and well fed.  From this perspective, we get the script's only interesting twist, which is the co-dependent relationship between master and servant, both of whom need the other to survive. The jokes, such as they are, threaten to land best in the adult support group that Renfield joins in New Orleans. But inexplicably, this aspect of the storyline spends a lot of its time in the backseat while a storyline of a drugs cartel, the Lobo Family, takes the wheel, presumably as a method to introduce Awkwafina to proceedings.

I'm trying to remember the last time I enjoyed Awkwafina in a movie, and it might be back in Oceans Eight, which was terrible, but I seem to have fond memories of her performance. Here, she's phoning it in as Officer Quincy, the only good apple in a barrel full of bad who are all in the Lobo's back pockets. She's so wooden that with a decent aim at Dracula's heart, she could've wound the movie up within 10 minutes, which would at least have spared us from the attempts to convince us that Renfield and Quincy had any romantic potential whatsoever. In the absence of anything better, McKay tries a sleight of hand to distract us with the ropiest CGI blood and gore I've seen in a long time and if it's meant to shock or turn the stomach, it flat-out fails. There is, though, an awful lot of it, far more than can be considered necessary or effective. But surely the biggest crime of all is that there are long periods of the movie where Nicholas Cage just disappears, and given that he's about 110% Nick Cage when he's at his Nick Cagiest, this is unforgivable. 4/10

[Plane308]

The Guard:  About an Irish cop. Brilliant. Witty. A joy. (Netflix).

[ScotiaNostra]

Aftersun: Saw the reviews its been getting and thought I would give it a watch. I liked it, very understated. 2 great leads in the father and daughter roles, very believable. One of those movies where nothing happens but actually so much is happening it takes a while to process it all. A look here, a word here, a pause there it all lets the viewers imagination do the rest. It gets under the skin for sure and I didnt notice that happening. In fact when the movie ended i thought 3.5 out of 5 good and I liked it but I thought maybe not as good as the reviews said but a few hours later I had it at 4 out of 5 easily. Achingly sad at times. It hit all the emotions and very relatable. For a first movie it was exceptional. 

Edited April 18, 2023 by ScotiaNostra

[accies1874]

On 17/04/2023 at 00:53, MSU said:

087 Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum -- A Korean found footage horror movie, anyone? I had my doubts but it turned out to be an unexpected hit. The story might not be based on truth, but as far as I can make out, it's a real location that has its own real urban legends, so it's at least based on commonly accepted falsehoods. Gonjiam Psychiatric Hospital was closed down in the 1970s, but not because of any mass suicide from its patients as the movie would have you believe. A group of friends, filming for part of a web series called Horror Times, get all GoPro'd to the hilt and break into the abandoned hospital to film the ghostly goings-on. This means lots of close-up shots of a static face while the background moves about, a method that always freaks me out a bit at the best of times. It's a slow burn toward the denouement, which for me is not a bad thing at all, and all the way through there is a simmering level of dread that amplifies as the story progresses. The atmosphere of the dark hospital at night is pretty much perfect for scares and jumps and catching glimpses of weird shapes in the shadows. The subtitles are a bit rubbish but it's well-acted, genuinely scary, and the final third is nuts. 7/10

I like the sound of this but it sadly doesn't seem to be kicking about anywhere legitimate. Might need to head down a rabbit hole (where I'll no doubt find @BTFD).

Also, I was considering going to see Renfield this week based on being somewhat interested in the trailer but absolutely everything I've read about it has swung me to go see something else instead. 

[yoda]

On 16/04/2023 at 09:59, accies1874 said:

15. Godland - Cinema

I wasn't necessarily emotionally invested, but I was completely engrossed by the filmmaking and ideas. It's probably the best 2023 release I've seen so far. 

I went to see this tonight. I thought that half of it was very good, and the other half just didn't engage me at all. Unfortunately there wasn't a clear divide between those halves, so one minute had me glued to the screen and then a minute later I was pondering literally anything other than what was on the screen. Yet... when it was good, I was completely transfixed. It looked terrific though. 

[accies1874]

On 18/04/2023 at 23:49, yoda said:

I went to see this tonight. I thought that half of it was very good, and the other half just didn't engage me at all. Unfortunately there wasn't a clear divide between those halves, so one minute had me glued to the screen and then a minute later I was pondering literally anything other than what was on the screen. Yet... when it was good, I was completely transfixed. It looked terrific though. 

I'm guessing you thought the first half was stronger than the second? I'd agree with you if so as it is definitely more engaging, but I found the second half fascinating in how it juxtaposes what came before to provide a more active questioning of faith (because you've lived it with the priest) and he responds to a sort of paradise following the misery. 

It's always jarring when a film sort of jumps like that but it worked for me this time. 

[Mark Connolly]

Ghosted (AppleTV+)

Boring as f**k. Even the lovely Ana de Armas can’t help it rise to mere mediocrity 

The Super Mario Bros Movie (Cinema)

Great fun. Especially enjoyed all the little nods to daft things in the games, and the music

[MSU]

090 Tetris -- One of a recent spate of movies about tech or business. Air is in cinemas just now and I saw a movie about the Blackberry is coming soon. The Social Network was probably about as interesting as a movie about contract law can get, but I still enjoyed this quite a bit. Taron Egerton is great as Henk Rogers, a tech entrepreneur who spots a new game at a Vegas conference built by Soviet programmer Alexey Pajitnov, Nikita Efremov, who officially works for the Soviet's government-owned version of Silicon Valley. The movie follows the licensing hoops Rogers has to jump through while keeping track of Pajitnov's run-ins with the KGB who want their share, and Toby Jones's Robert Stein who controls the rights. Egerton here is channeling a weird kinda hybrid of Matt Damon from the Oceans movies, and Michael Keaton from The Founder, and it works brilliantly. The first half of the movie is fun and inventive and uses bright graphical overlays that are delightful in a nostalgic kind of way, along with a bright 8-bit and 16-bit soundtrack, and it's a timely reminder of just how awful the Maxwell family -- who somehow had a dog in this fight -- really were. The second half gets bogged down a bit when, much like Tetris itself, it fails to evolve into much more than it was to begin with, but also in keeping with the game, it's still pretty satisfying watching it all fall into place. 7/10

091 The Souvenir (#87 in the A24 series) -- Joanna Hogg's semi-autobiographical debut is absolutely dripping in pretension and self-importance. Honor Swinton Byrne plays Julie, a film student who lives in Knightsbridge -- Knightsbridge! -- who wants to make a film about poor people in Sunderland, who has parties with her friends and fellow students when Anthony, Tom Burke, enters her life. He claims to work for the Foreign Office and can't talk about his job too much -- it's all hush-hush -- and he has an obvious heroin problem that Julie simply refuses to see for the longest time, by which point they're already a couple, and he's already borrowing money from her, and stealing from her, which sends her back to her mansion home to beg for money from her mother, Tilda Swinton, as she resolutely refuses to kick his arse out. It's so ludicrously over the top and tone-deaf that I became convinced it was meant to be funny, except I wasn't laughing. The biggest smile came onto my face right at the end, after the credits, when it cheerfully announced that a sequel would be happening soon. Well, there's optimism for you. 3/10

092 Evil Dead Rise -- I love Evil Dead movies so much that I went to the first screening on a rainy Thursday night when I would normally be tucked up in bed. A decade after the Fede Alvarez reboot, Lee Cronin, who I thought did a decent job with The Hole in the Ground, has written and directed a sequel that isn't so much a natural progression, but a new story with different characters that plays with the same set of rules. Ellie (Alyssa Sutherland) is a mother to teenagers Danny and Bridget (Morgan Davies and Gabrielle Echols) and tween Kassie (Nell Fisher). They live in a converted and soon-to-be-condemned bank in Los Angeles when they're visited by Ellie's sister, Beth (Lily Sullivan), who is a bit of a black sheep, works as a guitar technician that everyone confuses with her being a groupie, and she's just found out she's pregnant. A minor earthquake tears a hole in the parking level basement as the kids are heading out for pizza, and this leads Danny the DJ down to an old bank vault where he finds a familiar, nasty-looking book, and some old vinyl and when he plays the recordings, literally (kinda) all hell is released, Ellie is quickly possessed, and the remainder of the movie is about how and how many the remaining characters, including a couple of disposable neighbors, are going to get out. Cronin absolutely knows how to make an Evil Dead. His script puts some of the humour that was missing from the reboot, but it's nothing like the slapstick of Evil Dead 2. There are a couple of questionable moments that my suspension of disbelief just refused to let go of -- When will people stop reading books made with teeth? How consistently can you spin a record at 78 rpm with your finger? -- but the fact remains that this is a very strong entry into a much-beloved series that manages to be an homage to what came before while being inventive enough to tell its story its own way and Lily Sullivan as Beth, covered in blood, grasping on to the mandatory chainsaw, all white eyes and white teeth, makes a fantastic female Bruce Campbell. 8/10

093 Beau is Afraid (#133 in the A24 series) -- This is going to divide people. Ari Aster really has a thing about head trauma. He also has a thing about anxiety. And after this, I'm sure he could do with a chat with his mum. Beau Is Afraid is such a difficult movie to describe. It's part comedy, part horror, and kafkaesque seems to be a word invented just to get involved somewhere. In broad strokes of things that might have happened, Joaquin Phoenix plays Beau, an anxious middle-aged man, terrified of everything, who unfortunately lives in the most terrifying apartment in the most terrifying part of town. Everything he fears can go wrong, does go wrong, and during an attempt to get home to visit his mother, his apartment keys are stolen, he misses his flight, and his home is eventually invaded by everyone on the street. Matters take a turn for the worst when he's attacked and stabbed by a naked serial killer and then run down. There are many moments during its perhaps indulgent three-hour runtime, that don't seem to make much sense, and maybe they don't, but everywhere I looked during the movie there was remarkable attention to detail. Names of businesses, graffiti, TV shows, are all cram packed with little nuggets and it all suggests to me that there is method even in the darker moments of its madness. I don't suggest that I got it in its entirety, and I'm not convinced that seeing it again would necessarily help, but I enjoyed being bemused at it for what it was, or what it struck me to be, which was a study or an impression of anxiety, guilt, and how Ari Aster feels he was a massive disappointment to his mother, told through a language of generational trauma, all weaved into one of the most convincing nightmares committed to screen. 7/10

094 Tomorrow Never Dies -- Forgot to log this one last week. I see this one towards the bottom of many Bond lists and I have no idea why it scores so low. Admittedly, perhaps GoldenEye has it beat but I didn't think there was an awful lot in it, and it was somewhat refreshing that the baddie here was a media mogul, and the fake news aspects couldn't be more of the current time. Brosnan feels entirely settled into the Bond role at this point and he's helped by a great supporting cast. Jonathan Pryce excels as the Steve Jobs lookalike Elliot Carver, Teri Hatcher is his wife, and Michelle Yeoh proves she's been kicking ass in the movies for decades as Chinese superspy Wai Lin. The sequence where she and Bond are handcuffed and making their escape on motorbike is a bit of a masterclass in chase sequences and practical stunts. To score this below Moonraker and Diamonds Are Forever, as it is on Rotten Tomatoes, is lunacy. 6/10

Edited April 24, 2023 by MSU

[accies1874]

16. Close - MUBI

A lowkey coming-of-age film that has big themes pertinent to most adults while also provoking reflection on your own behaviour at that age and will imo prompt discussions due to the emotional debates and predominantly visual storytelling. 

That visual storytelling is what I love most about it: unbelievable performances (especially from the first-time teenager in the lead), really effective editing that give you very brief glimpses into scenes which paint a larger picture, cinematography that shows you exactly what you need to know just from the choice of shot. It feels very natural in that sense; information is conveyed through natural interactions but the quality of filmmaking and acting imprints those interactions onto your mind to inadvertently prep you for what's to come. There's a sequence that is genuinely perfect in conveying information with about three key lines of dialogue, the centrepiece being an excruciating pause in conversation which is absolutely filled with dread. 

It balances out extremely harrowing moments with simple snippets of Leo existing with friends and family, looking happy, but then we spend more time in the moments where he's low. That feels like a very realistic portrayal of life, but also allows both the happiness and sadness to become more effective. I was also interested in how the lines between friendship and romance were blurred; the friendship almost plays like a romantic relationship which calls into question the underlying tension of scenes, adding another layer to Leo's emotions, but that's then flipped on its head when the relationship between him and his brother is fleshed out. 

Around halfway through, I did accept that the script was wedded to a certain structure, but the execution is just so great that I didn't care. Same goes for the central plot point - maybe a tad excessive - but it's a means to an extremely effective end and sparks great emotion. 

17. One Fine Morning - Cinema

I was initially put off by how reserved this is - it almost feels incidental - but that might actually be its biggest strength. You feel like there's a whole world going on around Sandra; literally when they talk about the universe, then within the film when we get sort of off-screen stories like the fallout from her kinda-boyfriend's affair, the relationship between her dad and his carer and the patients who keep on turning up in the care home. These sometimes feel like bigger stories than the one we're watching which makes Sandra's issues seem incidental both to the viewer and the people she interacts with. She's a passive character in this story, and that surprisingly works for the most part. It's an interesting depiction of womanhood imo. 

There's also an element of living in the moment and appreciation of time/what you've currently got, but not in a sentimental way. Rather, it appreciates how difficult it is to live in the moment when that moment is distressing, especially for someone who most likely has depression. It does linger on some more pleasant moments like big sex scenes and a nice, wee scene at Christmas time, but those weren't what I took from the film. 

I did struggle with the patient lingering in the film at times, especially at the beginning when I wasn't too sure what it was going for, but it's a good one to consider in retrospect.

[scottsdad]

Jesus wept. 

Super Mario Brothers 

I don't even know where to begin. Imagine the game with voices. And no story. I checked my watch every 5 minutes to see if we were close to the end. What a waste of 90 minutes of my life. 

Afterwards I asked my daughter if she liked it. She shrugged. I asked if she would go and see it again. She said no. One of the better reviews. 

And it was packed. Loads of kids. One wee girl kicked my seat for the whole film. 

[MSU]

095 The Evil Dead -- I don't know what's more amazing; that Sam Raimi could make this for around $300k, or he was able to raise the investment in the first place, but what he does with that money is still remarkable and it's astonishing how some cheap practical effects and a vocal octaver could create such a chilling atmosphere. The acting is a bit overblown but it's also much better than we could have any reason to expect. The infamous tree scene hasn't aged well, but it was never applauded in the first place, and the movie would be better without it, and there's never much of an explanation as to why there are spooky goings on even before the incantations are made, and it's lost some of it's punch in 40 years but overall, there's still a huge amount to admire in a brutal 85-minute assault on the senses. 8/10

096 Evil Dead II -- It's a different style of horror here with far more emphasis on the comedy than before, which renders the gore -- of which there is a ton -- in a far more palatable frame. There are some incredible sequences here -- the headless torso cutting itself down the middle with the chainsaw by accident, the eyeball flying across the room, the possessed hand etc -- and while they're kinda gross, it's like the movie is nudging you in the ribs at the same time. Bruce Campbell is camping it up big time here but there are still really clever uses of camera angles that maintain a genuinely unhinged and hallucinatory feel. And once again, it's all done and dusted in under 90 minutes without feeling rushed. If anything, it's still quite exhausting. 9/10

097 Ghosted -- Chris Evans is a farmer who sells plants at an artisan market -- because of course he is -- when he meets Ana De Armas and after one date he is convinced that she's his perfect partner only for her to secretly be a special agent -- because of course she is -- and he inadvertently gets caught up in her world of espionage and adventure which allows the pair of them to discuss various aspects of their relationship while they drive through high-speed chases and shoot bad people. It's a terribly cliched premise that's made all the worse thanks to a truly diabolical script that I've seen some reviewers guess was written by ChatGPT. If that was the case, I think we can all sleep soundly that our robot overlords perhaps won't be enslaving the planet any time soon. Evans and De Armas, to their credit, manage to be entire charisma vacuums as they bump through one pointless encounter to the next, and director Dexter Fletcher has done so much better with Rocketman and (kinda) Sunshine on Leith. 2/10

098 Army of Darkness -- The least Evil Deady of the Evil Dead movies is still camp as f**k and plays out like a more twisted version of A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court or a comparably twisted Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It's good fun, and very funny in places, but I think the reason it's taken me this long to finally watch it all the way through in one viewing is that it almost feels like a spoof of itself. Ash is a real arsehole at the start and through the movie he -- shudder -- discovers things about himself and starts fighting for the people he saw as peasants at the start. Or something. I'm not sure I want that from an Evil Dead movie. In keeping with the others, it's a short affair so it doesn't eat up a lot of your time, and it's not bad at all. It's just not what I expected. 6/10

099 Evil Dead -- I loved an awful lot about this the first time I saw it, from the poster, to the soundtrack, the corny dialogue, the story, the premise, the color palette, the effects, the handy availability of a nail gun and chainsaw. And after watching all the Evil Dead movies this week, I just love it even more. Just a great combination of gore, guts, jumps, scares, and dread. Poor Mia the junkie is coming off heroin at her mother's old cabin in the woods and for a while her demonic possession is mistaken for cold turkey. It's such a great conceit that makes the realization for the others that something else is afoot all the more effective.  Before we even get there, before the title card comes up, there's a little prologue that in itself is pretty fucked up. And on this viewing, there are even a couple of minor chuckles in there. There are horror movies that work better on a psychological level, that push my buttons, that tap into my own fears, but for what it is, Evil Dead for me is among the best in class. 9/10

100 Chevalier -- Proof, if ever it was needed, that Paris turns everyone into an arsehole. I went into this not knowing very much at all about the life and times of Joseph Bologne, Chevalier de Saint-Georges, and I came out of it none the wiser. The story of the son of a slave and her wealthy master, uprooted and planted in Paris as a protege musician, who rubbed shoulders with royalty and nobility would be an interesting tale, but Stephen Williams' movie really robs the biography of any nuance and for the longest time presents as something of a forbidden romance as Chevalier (Kelvin Harrison Jr) has an affair with his leading lady, Marie-Josephine (Samara Weaving). The problem really stems from the fact that Chevalier isn't really presented as a likable character and his challenges are mostly overcome with ease, and his later interest in the revolution seem purely motivated because he didn't get the head job with Paris Opera. It's such a shallow look at what I'm sure was an interesting life, I cringe to call it a biopic. The music, however, is great although I was under no illusion at any point that any of the actors are responsible for any of it. 3/10

[BFTD]

Evil Dead Rise (cinema) - Evil Dead, but in an almost-empty apartment block on the verge of being torn down.

Although a lot of people seem to have liked it, I thought the trailer looked a bit generic and pish, but the good reviews made me decide to give it a go. It's a bit of a weird one; there are plenty of moments and scenes that have promise, but overall it is just a bit meh. Definitely the worst of the films so far; also, the epilogue that bookends the film doesn't make a lick of sense when you think about it for more than a few seconds.

Renfield (cinema) - Count Dracula's erstwhile servant discovers self-help and friendship while his master recovers from a close call with vampire hunters.

This was a surprise in several ways. For one, it's really good, providing a mix of genuinely funny moments with balls-out horror. For another, it's ludicrously gory in an Evil Dead fashion; occasionally the OTT nature is funny by itself, but there are also some cracking gags involving dismemberment and explosive showers of viscera. Fans of the genre will likely enjoy the loving nods to classic vampire flicks, including a brief remake of Bela Lugosi's classic to start the film off ("I never drink...wine").

I'm not a big Nicolas Cage fan, but he's great as the Count; a vicious monster who raises laughs through his passive-aggressive gaslighting. Nicholas Hoult plays Renfield as a young Hugh Grant who lost his way, and it's kinda heartwarming to watch him gradually realise that he doesn't have to be the bad guy. Parks & Rec fans will be delighted to see Ben Schwartz essentially being Jean-Ralphio again, while Awkwafina is still mystifyingly named after PepsiCo bottled water. Each to their own.

Not sure if my lack of expectations helped, but this was really enjoyable - not quite at What We Do in the Shadows level, but they're very different types of comedy anyway. I could see a sequel with Dracula trying (or pretending) to becoming a caring New Age monster to get back into Renfield's favour for some reason, and I'd definitely watch it.

[coprolite]

Super mario brothers

@scottsdad is wrong. This is great fun.

It's a bit turtlist, but they were different times.