Thereisalight.. Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 2 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: You've got yourself to live for. It's hard to go to someone for help for something like this. It took me years. There's nothing wrong with getting upset about it either; it can be healthy in fact, as it let you discuss why and how to help. Folk often say that making that first step is the hardest, and for many folk it's definitely true. Sounds like you had the wrong antidepressants. It's a case of trial and error with them. They might not be for you at all, but definitely worth another try. Without my parents or a partner, I’m nothing, I’m the kind of person who has to live for others. I still feel mental health has a stigma attached to it. I’d hate to go to my doctors and get one of the arsey ones. It’s definitely true that the first step in the hardest. i tried two different ones. One just made me feel nothing and so sleepy and the other one gave me disturbing dreams and nausea 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 13 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said: I’ve never been one to go to the doctors, or to talk about things with a stranger as I know I’ll get upset. I’m not even on antidepressants as the ones I took over a decade ago didn’t agree with me at all Get your arse to the doctors is the first step, then you’ll get referred to someone that can help you. It’s a big step, but worthwhile 3 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: Sounds like you had the wrong antidepressants. It's a case of trial and error with them. They might not be for you at all, but definitely worth another try. Listen to him @Thereisalight.. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 1 minute ago, Thereisalight.. said: Without my parents or a partner, I’m nothing, I’m the kind of person who has to live for others. I still feel mental health has a stigma attached to it. I’d hate to go to my doctors and get one of the arsey ones. It’s definitely true that the first step in the hardest. i tried two different ones. One just made me feel nothing and so sleepy and the other one gave me disturbing dreams and nausea What's to say you'll never have another partner though? Won't feel like it now but that can change. You've been hit from all sides in a very short period of time. Must be awful and feels like you aren't getting a break. Sounds like you're down a deep hole and every time you start climbing out something else comes along and knocks you back down to the bottom, and now you feel like it's hopeless, you'll never get out. You need time to grieve and heal and you just aren't getting it just now as the hits keep coming, and now you're anticipating them meaning you're on always on edge. You must be mentally exhausted. That's an incredibly hard way to live and you need help, and there no shame in that. Everyone needs help sometimes. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thereisalight.. Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 7 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: What's to say you'll never have another partner though? Won't feel like it now but that can change. You've been hit from all sides in a very short period of time. Must be awful and feels like you aren't getting a break. Sounds like you're down a deep hole and every time you start climbing out something else comes along and knocks you back down to the bottom, and now you feel like it's hopeless, you'll never get out. You need time to grieve and heal and you just aren't getting it just now as the hits keep coming, and now you're anticipating them meaning you're on always on edge. You must be mentally exhausted. That's an incredibly hard way to live and you need help, and there no shame in that. Everyone needs help sometimes. Very sensible words. Thank you yip I’m down a deep hole at the moment, with one shit thing after the next. Maybe when all the Coronavirus busyness calms down a bit I’ll go and get an appointment 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 3 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said: Very sensible words. Thank you yip I’m down a deep hole at the moment, with one shit thing after the next. Maybe when all the Coronavirus busyness calms down a bit I’ll go and get an appointment Would be a good idea. The virus stuff is another thing to deal with so won't be helping matters. Incidentally you say that you aren't one for opening up to strangers but that's exactly what you've done here. I was very anxious about going to see a counsellor the first time. I wrote things down and just read from it. You've already written things down here, so could be an idea to put them in Word or a notes app and read them to a professional? Also of course there are plenty of folk on this thread who are happy to discuss things, so please keep posting here if you feel it helps! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thereisalight.. Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 13 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: Would be a good idea. The virus stuff is another thing to deal with so won't be helping matters. Incidentally you say that you aren't one for opening up to strangers but that's exactly what you've done here. I was very anxious about going to see a counsellor the first time. I wrote things down and just read from it. You've already written things down here, so could be an idea to put them in Word or a notes app and read them to a professional? Also of course there are plenty of folk on this thread who are happy to discuss things, so please keep posting here if you feel it helps! Yeah, it’s just one thing opening up online, rather than face to face where tears may escape and make me feel pathetic in front of a stranger. I could maybe save the money and do that. Thank you. I appreciate that 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thereisalight.. Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 6 minutes ago, Geez a Braco said: @Thereisalight.. I see that you're going for hikes to escape the house ( as per government advice ) this is something I'm doing which I don't normally do. But in terms of accomplishment I've been trying to up my steps every day or using route planner to plan and then accomplish a certain distance - Walked nearly 20km today which really surprised me, and I can tell I will sleep like a bairn tonight which is something I normally struggle with. Plan your walk for tomorrow and let us know how you get on. Have you been enjoying the hiking? That’s a good idea to try and better your distance each day. Wow 20km, impressive . Yeah you’ll certainly sleep well! I’ll definitely be walking or hiking somewhere, it just depends what the weather is like, but I shall let you know! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 8 hours ago, Thereisalight.. said: Very sensible words. Thank you yip I’m down a deep hole at the moment, with one shit thing after the next. Maybe when all the Coronavirus busyness calms down a bit I’ll go and get an appointment Take that word out and DO it! Keep posting, it seems to be working, I can see an improvement in your responses. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 Have you been enjoying the hiking? That’s a good idea to try and better your distance each day. Wow 20km, impressive [emoji106]. Yeah you’ll certainly sleep well! I’ll definitely be walking or hiking somewhere, it just depends what the weather is like, but I shall let you know!Honestly mate, keep the head up and keep battling on. DA, and others, has been spot on. Relationships end and it’s shite - I can vouch for that! - but you never know when you’re going to meet someone else. You just need to be alive to make sure it can happen. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 If a relationship ends, it's always a good thing. Your ego will be hurt a bit and you will miss for a while the intimacy or whatever else it brought you. But if you've had fights, arguments or whatever you are well rid. Start to enjoy the freedom of being by one's self, embrace it. I loved not having to worry about pleasing anyone else or finding time or whatever. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thereisalight.. Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 1 hour ago, Stellaboz said: If a relationship ends, it's always a good thing. Your ego will be hurt a bit and you will miss for a while the intimacy or whatever else it brought you. But if you've had fights, arguments or whatever you are well rid. Start to enjoy the freedom of being by one's self, embrace it. I loved not having to worry about pleasing anyone else or finding time or whatever. My ego sure is hurt. She was in a new relationship within a few weeks and they’re now engaged after only 5 months. Just hurts I was so easily replaceable. When I told her about my Dad passing away we hadn’t spoke for a few months. She said sorry etc, then a few hours later she unblocked me to say she no longer cares what happens in my life, how happy she is in her new relationship and that’s if I contacted her again she’d call the police. Imagine receiving a message like that from someone you loved for years a few hours after I’d lost my Dad. I was destroyed how hurtful she could be. A few people reckon she’s probably a narcissist so now I’m questioning if she ever really loved me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 Mate you sound like you were WELL rid. Anyone who reacts like that to what you said isn't worth sh*t. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 34 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said: My ego sure is hurt. She was in a new relationship within a few weeks and they’re now engaged after only 5 months. Just hurts I was so easily replaceable. When I told her about my Dad passing away we hadn’t spoke for a few months. She said sorry etc, then a few hours later she unblocked me to say she no longer cares what happens in my life, how happy she is in her new relationship and that’s if I contacted her again she’d call the police. Imagine receiving a message like that from someone you loved for years a few hours after I’d lost my Dad. I was destroyed how hurtful she could be. A few people reckon she’s probably a narcissist so now I’m questioning if she ever really loved me. Stop questioning it all now. So what if she didn't? That's on her and not a reflection of you. I had similar where a burd I was living with broke up with me and was engaged to a guy within 2 weeks. Felt similar to what you describe. Took me a while to get over it but once I did I just realise what a whole waste of time the worrying and hurt about it was and how it wasn't my fault. At the risk of getting all 'Good Will Hunting' on you (what a film by the way!), it's not your fault. Unfortunately there are shit people in the world who d shit things to folk. She doesn't care about you so try and stop caring about her, and indeed thinking about her. Easier said than done mind. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thereisalight.. Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 19 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: Stop questioning it all now. So what if she didn't? That's on her and not a reflection of you. I had similar where a burd I was living with broke up with me and was engaged to a guy within 2 weeks. Felt similar to what you describe. Took me a while to get over it but once I did I just realise what a whole waste of time the worrying and hurt about it was and how it wasn't my fault. At the risk of getting all 'Good Will Hunting' on you (what a film by the way!), it's not your fault. Unfortunately there are shit people in the world who d shit things to folk. She doesn't care about you so try and stop caring about her, and indeed thinking about her. Easier said than done mind. 2 weeks, jeez. What’s wrong with some people Yip that’s the annoying thing. I know she doesn’t give a shit about me, yet I still think of her and all the good times we had. She works in the care sector so I keep wondering how she is doing during these coronavirus times. The sad part is she wouldn’t give a damn if I died from it. Really wish I was the type who could switch off feeling and emotions like a light switch 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 10 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said: 2 weeks, jeez. What’s wrong with some people Yip that’s the annoying thing. I know she doesn’t give a shit about me, yet I still think of her and all the good times we had. She works in the care sector so I keep wondering how she is doing during these coronavirus times. The sad part is she wouldn’t give a damn if I died from it. Really wish I was the type who could switch off feeling and emotions like a light switch No such person exists. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thereisalight.. Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 12 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: No such person exists. I truly believe they do and they’re called Narcissists 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carpetmonster Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 56 minutes ago, Thereisalight.. said: I truly believe they do and they’re called Narcissists Narcissists don't really have feelings in the first place - Trump is often theorized to have Narcissistic Personality Disorder if you want an example - and feelings are part of the human experience, for good and for bad. Imagine how shite it would be not to feel love, to feel joy, to have everything be pretty much a flatline - that's the dictionary definition of clinical depression. You get one shot at all this, it's better to get all of it, even if it's a b*****d at times. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 @Thereisalight - without being too birthday caird pish - take a bit of hope from your user name - light at the end of the tunnel etc 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 2 weeks, jeez. What’s wrong with some people [emoji20] Yip that’s the annoying thing. I know she doesn’t give a shit about me, yet I still think of her and all the good times we had. She works in the care sector so I keep wondering how she is doing during these coronavirus times. The sad part is she wouldn’t give a damn if I died from it. Really wish I was the type who could switch off feeling and emotions like a light switch You don’t want to switch off your emotions mate, as much as it may feel like it. One day you’ll harness those emotions to do something good. This illness prevents you controlling that emotion and it ends up overwhelming you. I promise you though, you don’t want the days where you feel no emotions at all. Get to the doctor mate. It’ll be a weight off the shoulders. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thereisalight.. Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 2 hours ago, carpetmonster said: Narcissists don't really have feelings in the first place - Trump is often theorized to have Narcissistic Personality Disorder if you want an example - and feelings are part of the human experience, for good and for bad. Imagine how shite it would be not to feel love, to feel joy, to have everything be pretty much a flatline - that's the dictionary definition of clinical depression. You get one shot at all this, it's better to get all of it, even if it's a b*****d at times. 2 hours ago, Jacksgranda said: @Thereisalight - without being too birthday caird pish - take a bit of hope from your user name - light at the end of the tunnel etc 1 hour ago, Dons_1988 said: You don’t want to switch off your emotions mate, as much as it may feel like it. One day you’ll harness those emotions to do something good. This illness prevents you controlling that emotion and it ends up overwhelming you. I promise you though, you don’t want the days where you feel no emotions at all. Get to the doctor mate. It’ll be a weight off the shoulders. Thanks guys. The support and encouragement mean a lot 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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