Depression

[Dons_1988]

14 hours ago, Bairnardo said:

Only putting this in here clause it's a serious thread. Could be in infuriating things your partners do, but as I am about to come across as a right heartless bastrd.....

Someone at Mrs Bs work died recently. Someone who she, at best, were friendly enough colleagues who maybe text eachother back and forth but never socialised outside work. At worst, this person was a bit of an arse and a bully and ultimately Mrs B left rather than lut up with their shite. So we are talking someone who was not much more than a colleague.

Well Mrs B is now in her third day of full on moping about, crying, whining about it all etc. Its absolutely getting on my tits, and I know that sounds harsh but I am coming to the point...

See since I lost both my parents, I have a full on empathy bypass for stuff like this. Not like if someone loses family or a best pal, I actually feel fully worse for them, but see stuff like this, I genuinely feel like saying "what the f**k sort of loss is this to whine at me about?" Its like I rank a loss, deem it as nothing compared to what I have suffered then dismiss it. I honestly cant help it, and its total woe is me behaviour. Shite.

I'd go with some others and say you should explore if there's anything deeper behind this.

If I'm in a more 'fragile' state, I definitely get more hyper sensitive to stuff. About a year ago a neighbour from my childhood was murdered (I knew her, but not really) and it happened at a difficult time for me. It made me feel pretty miserable about the world and had me pretty upset, feeling like life was just one big misery up until you die.

A few weeks later I'd sorted myself out and had much more perspective, recognising that it was a shite thing to happen but given my relationship to her was acquaintance at best, I really couldn't allow it to affect me.

Long story short, it might be worth asking her why it's upset her so much, without it sounding like 'whats the big fucking deal'. There oculd be more going on.

Either that or she's an attention seeking dram queen. 

[Jacksgranda]

32 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

I'd go with some others and say you should explore if there's anything deeper behind this.

If I'm in a more 'fragile' state, I definitely get more hyper sensitive to stuff. About a year ago a neighbour from my childhood was murdered (I knew her, but not really) and it happened at a difficult time for me. It made me feel pretty miserable about the world and had me pretty upset, feeling like life was just one big misery up until you die.

A few weeks later I'd sorted myself out and had much more perspective, recognising that it was a shite thing to happen but given my relationship to her was acquaintance at best, I really couldn't allow it to affect me.

Long story short, it might be worth asking her why it's upset her so much, without it sounding like 'whats the big fucking deal'. There oculd be more going on.

Either that or she's an attention seeking dram queen. 

Has she a drinking problem, too?

[Dons_1988]

4 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

Has she a drinking problem, too?

[SweeperDee]

After seeing my pal in Perth for a few pints; during the whole time I forgot I was having issues. However the problem I noticed the day after was actually leaving; I felt sad that I was leaving my pal after seeing him for the first time in ages. Obviously that’s pretty rational, but once again it somehow feels amplified and more intense.

The girl I’ve been seeing stayed over last night and it was a fucking brilliant time. Films, wine, shenanigans, all brilliant. But after she dropped me off for work this morning it was the same sinking feeling of possibly not seeing her again; it’s absolutely fucking daft, but it’s just the same sort of thought process I used to have when I was a teenager. It’s like I’m developing separation anxiety; problem is I’m twenty fucking five, not just 5 years old.

[Hillonearth]

10 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

Yikes.

Never considered myself lacking intelligence and being a lowest common denominator type.

Never been to Benidorm though and haven't been back to a pub yet.

Having read through the last few pages |I'm slightly confused and concerned that you might have thought what I'd posted was aimed at you or anyone in particular on here. This isn't the type of thread I - or I would hope anyone on here - would do that on.

It was more following on from a conversation I had the other day with someone at work which made me think - he was saying a few weeks ago he had approached a few of his members of staff to see if they'd want to go into the office to carry out a task which couldn't be done remotely...a couple of the more thoughtful ones admitted the thought of going back was giving them the fear and they probably wouldn't get any sleep the night before they went in. Conversely the stolid zero-imagination plodder gave him more or less exactly the response I mentioned earlier that we should have been coming in the whole time cos it was aw pish, hence my comment that that sort of lack of capacity for reflection and imagination might actually be advantageous in these times

[dorlomin]

 

The concentration problems is one of the most debilitating for many as so many careers in the modern world require the ability to focus on boring tasks for extended time periods. 

[DA Baracus]

1 hour ago, dorlomin said:

 

The concentration problems is one of the most debilitating for many as so many careers in the modern world require the ability to focus on boring tasks for extended time periods. 

Concentration was a big factor in my horrendous failure at university.

[Guest JTS98]

23 hours ago, Bairnardo said:

Only putting this in here clause it's a serious thread. Could be in infuriating things your partners do, but as I am about to come across as a right heartless bastrd.....

Someone at Mrs Bs work died recently. Someone who she, at best, were friendly enough colleagues who maybe text eachother back and forth but never socialised outside work. At worst, this person was a bit of an arse and a bully and ultimately Mrs B left rather than lut up with their shite. So we are talking someone who was not much more than a colleague.

Well Mrs B is now in her third day of full on moping about, crying, whining about it all etc. Its absolutely getting on my tits, and I know that sounds harsh but I am coming to the point...

See since I lost both my parents, I have a full on empathy bypass for stuff like this. Not like if someone loses family or a best pal, I actually feel fully worse for them, but see stuff like this, I genuinely feel like saying "what the f**k sort of loss is this to whine at me about?" Its like I rank a loss, deem it as nothing compared to what I have suffered then dismiss it. I honestly cant help it, and its total woe is me behaviour. Shite.

I think it's maybe connected to the idea that people who go and cry outside football stadiums after an ex-player or current player they never met die are really just letting out a bit of 'life is tough and I'm unhappy' steam in a social context that makes that acceptable. An emotional safety valve kind of thing.

Your missus maybe just sees this as a chance to let some pent-up sadness/frustration/anger out in a time where she can pin it on the death of the ex-colleague. Or maybe it's not even that conscious a decision. It just happens.

Edited July 23, 2020 by JTS98

[parsforlife]

Seems the most appropriate place.

Feeling pretty shit tonight,  missing my mum like f**k.  She died 4 years ago and there no special occasions recently/ coming up but I was innocently flicking through a few pics of my niece and it hit like a brick everything she’s missing from.  I’ve not had the best of weeks mentally which is probably contributing but I haven’t felt this low in a long time. Not expecting any response really and I’m not exactly open about my feelings but feel venting here is better than nothing.

Edited August 7, 2020 by parsforlife

[AL-FFC]

12 minutes ago, parsforlife said:

Seems the most appropriate place.

Feeling pretty shit tonight,  missing my mum like f**k.  She died 4 years ago and there no special occasions recently/ coming up but I was innocently flicking through a few pics of my niece and it hit like a brick everything she’s missing from.  I’ve not had the best of weeks mentally which is probably contributing but I haven’t felt this low in a long time. Not expecting any response really and I’m not exactly open about my feelings but feel venting here is better than nothing.

Grief is a hellish thing and can hit at anytime, think a lot of us especially on here can relate to loss affecting them especially when added in with depression.  Try to remember the good times with your mum and if she was here know she wouldnt want you being down on yourself.  Good to vent, this place thread has helped me a good few times in opening up and knowing its one of those things your not going through it alone. theres no shame in having issues with your mental  health and talking about it.

[Moomintroll]

21 minutes ago, parsforlife said:

Seems the most appropriate place.

Feeling pretty shit tonight,  missing my mum like f**k.  She died 4 years ago and there no special occasions recently/ coming up but I was innocently flicking through a few pics of my niece and it hit like a brick everything she’s missing from.  I’ve not had the best of weeks mentally which is probably contributing but I haven’t felt this low in a long time. Not expecting any response really and I’m not exactly open about my feelings but feel venting here is better than nothing.

My mums birthday is coming up next week, she passed in June 2016 & it still hurts like hell so I know what you mean. I really should vent more here as it does help so keep venting m8.

[Andy Dufresne]

My mum died in 1992 and i still miss her.

[DA Baracus]

Had one of the most embarrassing events of my life tonight/this morning.

Absolutely shameful.

[Jacksgranda]

Well don't disappear on us like you did the last time.

[Stellaboz]

Maybe it's not my place to say this but f**k it. It's not worth feeling embarrassed about. People care. Never forget. Lest you forgot!

[DA Baracus]

3 hours ago, Jacksgranda said:

Well don't disappear on us like you did the last time.

Still here.

10 minutes ago, Stellaboz said:

Maybe it's not my place to say this but f**k it. It's not worth feeling embarrassed about. People care. Never forget. Lest you forgot!

Hopefully I can use it as a lesson of sorts

[Stellaboz]

Hopefully I can use it as a lesson of sorts

I hope so. Just have to really try and convince yourself that you can take something positive from it.

[Bairnardo]

Not to make any assumptions here but if drink is involved I'd just write it off. Once the doom passes, just forget it.

[NotThePars]

On 21/07/2020 at 00:00, SweeperDee said:

I’ve came to the conclusion that I’m not very well, and it’s probably very much down to this entire lockdown.

It’s completely snuck up on me, but now with everything easing, I’ve felt like I’ve lost touch with most of my pals. It’s even more prominent after meeting up with this lass I’m seeing and going on a few dates; I just don’t know how to act, this is made worse by the fact I really like her and although she has said she likes me, she’s not 100% sure on what she wants.

I feel like a complete alien around folk now. I’ve been decent throughout my life at reading people, their body language, their tone, everything; but now I think even attempting to read people, and getting anxious about how they truly feel is making me mentally exhausted.

I don’t really know how to expand this further: I just feel a bit paralysed by everything. Little things that were fine to deal with before are now plaguing my mind, and beginning to feel insurmountable. I’ve always considered myself to be comfortable in my own company but I’m beginning to solely exist in my head and I’m not sure if I like it. I don’t know how to snap out of how I feel.

 

Feeling the exact same myself. Quite enjoyed the lockdown myself at first as it was an excuse to blast through a lot of stuff and generally have some time to myself but finding it a struggle and have this fucking weird anxiety about things returning to 'normal' even if I am looking forward to being able to go back to the pub and having the fitba back etc.  I hope you're figuring things out and losing some of that anxiety but you're definitely not the only one.

 

Usually try to avoid writing about this or reading the thread in general as I find it can lead to me spiralling or dwelling on things I don't want to. I've just felt this constant malaise for the last few months and lockdown ending is just gonna lead to it being worse, I think. I love Glasgow for a lot of reasons and feel like it's my home but I've seen most of the people close to me move away or drift apart which has led to a constant feeling of loneliness that I can't seem to shake. I've found myself relying heavily on my cousin and a couple of mates who have recently had children or have their own struggles which leaves them absent for long stretches which means they aren't readily available which leads to me feeling even more like a burden on their time. 

I guess I'm just not really sure of the solution or if I am then I'm not sure how much time and effort it's going to take. I've been applying for jobs down south where I know a few people and feel that the 'fresh start' will be mentally good for me but every time I engage with the job market I just become more aware of how saturated it is and is going to be with the effects of covid hitting. I've been far luckier than most in that I've landed a decent entry level civil service job so I don't have to worry about providing for myself. 

There's people I chat to occasionally on social media that I want to reach out to but there's always something stopping me cause even though we live in an online society it still feels weird to ask someone you speak to online if they fancy a pint. Very strange. As sad as it is, P&B has been a godsend over lockdown. Enjoy chatting shite to the biys on here.

There's just a confluence of factors that are hitting me hard atm. I've lost some friends I was close to and can't see others anymore due to geography. I'm not really enjoying myself or feel as comfortable as I used to in a city I consider my home. Lockdown has brought a lot of stuff into sharper relief that I was aware of but had avoided confronting and I don't know where I'm going or what I want to do. Last December's election has also hit hard and reinforced a lot of inherent pessimism I have about things getting better. I've tried getting back involved in politics around independence and am already bummed out.

Tl;dr/ to summarise the rambles. I'm at a loose end atm and I'm unsure where to go or how to resolve it. I'm also definitely underplaying how shite I've been feeling recently.

 

[D.A.F.C]

Had one of the most embarrassing events of my life tonight/this morning.
Absolutely shameful.

Who cares what people think. Everyone fucks up. Dont worry about it.