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Facts you made up


Mak

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8MileBU recently fled the country after being the victim of four sexual offences so depraved, the acts haven't even been given names yet.

Thankfully, he returned after realising that there are far worse things that can happen in Florida.

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Maverick guitarist Jimi Hendrix died after choking on his vomit in his sleep. The reason he vomited was because he was dreaming he was on the Big Dipper at Blackpool after drinking seven pints of giraffes urine and eating two pickled eggs whilst wearing a Jimmy krankie face mask.

Edited by a1974h
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Michael Stipe has an honorary degree from Abertay University, Dundee in recognition of his wacky face paint he used to wear on stage. He never collected the degree however he waved the certificate on stage at a concert in Germany in 2007.

The chorus to "The Sidewinder sleeps tonight" was written in tribute to Lochee baker Colin Jim Aitken who supplies Michael Stipe with plehnies and inyin ins whenever he plays the Caird Hall in disguise as Shug McTumshie and his Monifieth Stompers.

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The fact that we are all indeed jock Tamson's bairns is a fallacy. Jock Tamson actually had the snip aged 16 after all his 800 offspring were born with ginger hair and had freckles in the shape of a cock on their forehead.

Edited by a1974h
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Bob Carolgees was left on his local police station step as a baby. Bob was never able to track down his biological mother and psychological experts believe the reason he had such a big moustache was to try and hide his insecurities.

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Pat Sharpe famously shaved off his mullet for charity in the mid 90s but the shorn locks were stolen and the winner of the charity auction, Lisa Minelli, was presented with an empty box as the event organisers, Barnardos, assumed she wouldn't bother checking. They were right until 2008 when Ms Minelli was showing the prize off to her dear friend, Richard Herring, and, infuriated, she sued Barnados for over $5,000,000 although an out of court settlement was reached the following autumn

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Russell Brand's mither is a bog brush, and that bog brush is none other than former TV-am weather girl, from the 80s, Wincy Willis.

I'll do some digging, but I'm pretty sure his old boys a ring tailed lemur called Jeff.

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