Richie95 Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 The famous dinosaur, the t-Rex, was actually named Theodore Rexington (t-Rex for short). However, after a complaint from a history lecturer from Aberdeen Uni, who shared the same name as the t-rex, became so fed up with his students roaring at him during lectures, that he went to court and demanded the dinosaur to have a name change. In a weird turn of events, Theodore won the case and the dinosaur was renamed the Tyrannosaurus rex, which actually means 'big roar' in Latin. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Sport Relief. Now known as a charity fund raiser on television. It's Victorian origins couldn't be further than the much loved cash cow that we have come to spend a fortune of televisual hours on. It is easiest described as the pistol dueling of the penis variety. Victorian gentleman would cast their relieved relish at or on an agreed target for an agreed sport. For example Lord Wittingly-f**k took a fancy to his good neighbours Shetland pony but rather than play a hand of bridge or darts they would challenge "Sports Relief", the 1st to splurge the target was crowned winner. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 (edited) 95% of all MSPs went to Beath high school prompting calls into an enquiry as nobody has passed an exam there since Jim Baxter passed PE in 1952. Edited February 2, 2016 by D.A.F.C 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee_62 Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 In a blatant effort to appease his English electorate, David Cameron has today added to the small print of the EU deal, additional taxes on anyone ginger or with freckles, anyone manufacturing, selling, hiring or wearing any tartan clothing or anyone who can properly pronounce "loch" or "Auchtermuchty". BE A WEAR! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionel hutz Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Black Friday has killed more people than Saddam Hussain 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionel hutz Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Black Friday has killed more people than Saddam Hussain ...but less than George Bush 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 Pubic hair only grows on humans and ferrets. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 The excess water that is left over from a Pot Noodle provides enough nutrients to grow the average grocer's entire annual mushroom produce. The Bombay Badboy is even more efficient, as they can result in 152% of the average grocer's annual produce of chillies. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee_62 Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 Frank Sinatra (in his Mafia days) pioneered the use of waterboarding. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aberdeen-Warrior Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 First buses provide an excellent example of pergect customer service 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 (edited) Lothian bus drivers are not failed formula 1 drivers despite Mrs Higgins (81) assumption once alighted from the number 21 whilst also using coarse language. Mind the 21 was probably 3 stops further by the time she had stopped pointing out her incorrect fact. Grimbo Edited February 3, 2016 by Grim O'Grady 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 First buses provide an excellent example of pergect customer service Pergect (Hungarian, trad.): to manually excavate one's colon with the hand, or other implement. see also slang: "I listened to the politician pergect all over the assembled crowd" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aberdeen-Warrior Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 First buses provide an excellent example of pergect customer service Appears to be a typo there haha 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee_62 Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 (edited) Spelling mistakes were invented by the marketing company promoting tipex in 1964. Typists in secretarial pools throughout the US and UK were given bungs (from the royalties of Monkees records) in return for making errors on company letters. Multi-National companies were then targeted by the ruthless tipex salesmen in order to meet their stretch targets. (As set by Mike Nesmith's mum) Edited for spelling mistake. Edited February 3, 2016 by dee_62 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 The Principality of Liechtenstein does not actually exist. The illusion of Liechtenstein is a ruse kept up by Switzerland and Austria as part of a childish game designed to poke fun at the rest of the world. Every 4 years they move Liechtenstein to another area of the border where both countries meet, with the 30000 residents all completely unaware. As a result, it is possible to fall asleep in Liechtenstein, then waken up the following day 90 miles away in Liechtenstein, despite the fact Liechtenstein covers only 62 square miles. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 Switzerland invented first aid. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 The Principality of Liechtenstein does not actually exist. The illusion of Liechtenstein is a ruse kept up by Switzerland and Austria as part of a childish game designed to poke fun at the rest of the world. Every 4 years they move Liechtenstein to another area of the border where both countries meet, with the 30000 residents all completely unaware. As a result, it is possible to fall asleep in Liechtenstein, then waken up the following day 90 miles away in Liechtenstein, despite the fact Liechtenstein covers only 62 square miles. ^^^ My Location: Liechtenstein This almost caused disaster in the 11-1200s when ruse management neglected to de-Liechtenstein areas once each new Liechtenstein area was created. By 1198, Switzerland and Austria no longer shared a border. 1.5m population Liechtenstein abruptly declared war on Mongolia, prompting Ghengis Khan's infamous westward campaign. Fortunately, Liechtenstein ceded to joint Swiss-Austrian control in 1279, and the Mongols packed up and went home. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richie95 Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 Infamous Pie and Bovril, Dryhorce, used to mention a footballer player called Mubtumbo. Little was known about this player until last Saturday when leaked documents, seemed to show a footballer with Scottish heritage scoring 16 goals in consecutive Premier League fixtures. In this document it is claimed that the English media panicked when this event occured and destroyed almost every form of evidence, including paying large sums of money to supporters who witnessed the event, however, one supporter managed to go under the radar and has eyewitness accounts of the events in question. According to the FA, the document was leaked by a man who claimed he was searching for Italians with Scottish surnames, no other information has been passed on yet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 Germans naturally speak in a broad West County accent. They only put on the "German" accent so as not to appear thick to foreigners. This fact almost came out at the time of the Munich crisis in 1938 when a very tired Adolf Hitler let his guard slip and said to Neville Chamberlain "Get orf moi Zudentenlaaaaand.." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Hitler (Adolph) was ginger. & invented the combine harvester. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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