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I asked my daughter to give ne the phone book. She laughed at me, called me a dinosaur and lent me her iPhone. Now the spider is dead, the phone is broken and my daughter is furious.

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I read today England players out in Germany won’t be allowed to vote on 4th July.

A spokesperson for the FA said “it’s pointless, they wouldn’t be able to find the box let alone put a cross in it”

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I had a phone conversation today with a very nice young chap from Pakistan. This is how it went:

"Hello, how are you today?"

"I'm very well thank you for asking, how are you and more to the point, WHO are you?"

"Madam, my name is Sanjit, and I'm calling you from Microsoft.”

"Microsoft, is that a city in Pakistan?”

" No Madam, MICROSOFT, the computer company. I'm calling to tell you that we have found a problem with your computer.”

"REALLY, that's quite concerning.”

"Yes Madam, it can become very serious indeed but thankfully I will be able to fix it for you.”

"No, I meant it's very concerning because I don't HAVE a computer.”

“You don't?"

“No.”

"Ahh, it must be a problem on your laptop Madam.”

"Don't have one.”

"Ipad?"

"Nope.”

"Tablet?"

"I have none of those things. As a matter of fact, I don't even have a telephone.”

After a few seconds of silence he said "Madam, you are lying to me now!"

I said "Well, you started it!!" and put the phone down.

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59 minutes ago, Arch Stanton said:

I had a phone conversation today with a very nice young chap from Pakistan. This is how it went:

"Hello, how are you today?"

"I'm very well thank you for asking, how are you and more to the point, WHO are you?"

"Madam, my name is Sanjit, and I'm calling you from Microsoft.”

"Microsoft, is that a city in Pakistan?”

" No Madam, MICROSOFT, the computer company. I'm calling to tell you that we have found a problem with your computer.”

"REALLY, that's quite concerning.”

"Yes Madam, it can become very serious indeed but thankfully I will be able to fix it for you.”

"No, I meant it's very concerning because I don't HAVE a computer.”

“You don't?"

“No.”

"Ahh, it must be a problem on your laptop Madam.”

"Don't have one.”

"Ipad?"

"Nope.”

"Tablet?"

"I have none of those things. As a matter of fact, I don't even have a telephone.”

After a few seconds of silence he said "Madam, you are lying to me now!"

I said "Well, you started it!!" and put the phone down.

You could also have really wound the c##t up by telling him that you're sure his mother must be very proud of him.   I did that once on one of these calls and the bloke did his nut.

Edited by Salt n Vinegar
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1 hour ago, Arch Stanton said:

I had a phone conversation today with a very nice young chap from Pakistan. This is how it went:

"Hello, how are you today?"

"I'm very well thank you for asking, how are you and more to the point, WHO are you?"

"Madam, my name is Sanjit, and I'm calling you from Microsoft.”

"Microsoft, is that a city in Pakistan?”

" No Madam, MICROSOFT, the computer company. I'm calling to tell you that we have found a problem with your computer.”

"REALLY, that's quite concerning.”

"Yes Madam, it can become very serious indeed but thankfully I will be able to fix it for you.”

"No, I meant it's very concerning because I don't HAVE a computer.”

“You don't?"

“No.”

"Ahh, it must be a problem on your laptop Madam.”

"Don't have one.”

"Ipad?"

"Nope.”

"Tablet?"

"I have none of those things. As a matter of fact, I don't even have a telephone.”

After a few seconds of silence he said "Madam, you are lying to me now!"

I said "Well, you started it!!" and put the phone down.

Scammerpayback has some excellent content.

 

 

 

Edited by johnnydun
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