Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[19QOS19]

I am getting more and more pissed off with her spending habits to the point where it is causing serious resentment.
We have 2 joint accounts, one for all the bills, and one for regular 'spending', the spending one is regularly emptied well before payday on absolute shite. 
I remember reading this thread and it seemed like people had a different way of organising their finances. If I remember correctly people pay into a bill account, then split whatever is left in two and use that separately. My problem with that would be that she would probably spend her half in 2 weeks as usual and then I would be left paying for everything for the rest of the month.
Also how does that work, if, say your out for dinner? Does you take turns about paying? This might seem laughably basic but I genuinely need to sort an alternative before I lose my mind.
 
 

You need to get shot of that joint spending account. It's a good idea in principle if it was required to get stuff for the house but if she is spending the money on shite for herself she should be using her own account.

Just get her to put her share in the bill account and tell her not to bother putting in to the other account, she can spend that money how she likes - that might be the only kind of way you can word it without her kicking off. If she's skint after two weeks she'll need to learn to budget for herself.

In regards to going out for meals etc. If you don't put your money into the joint account you'll probably find you'll have some extra cash each month that she isn't squandering, so you could offer to pay.

[Benjamin_Nevis]

Count me in for the "f**k having a joint account" malarkey. The bills just come out of my account, she gives me half of the household bills, and we each have our own accounts for day to day stuff. I generally sort stuff like holidays etc and she just transfers me her share. Piece of piss. 

[Trackdaybob]

Any bank account, joint or otherwise is only as good as the person(s) running it. 

Any 'hassle' is entirely your own doing. 

I don't know how many accounts she has. I don't need to. We have a joint account to run the household. I've a standing order every month. So does Mrs Tdb. That takes care of everything with a little to spare.  The rest of my money is mine to do with as I please. As is hers. 

[jimbaxters]

5 minutes ago, Trackdaybob said:

Any bank account, joint or otherwise is only as good as the person(s) running it. 

Any 'hassle' is entirely your own doing. 

I don't know how many accounts she has. I don't need to. We have a joint account to run the household. I've a standing order every month. So does Mrs Tdb. That takes care of everything with a little to spare.  The rest of my money is mine to do with as I please. As is hers. 

Absolutely. Why would the type of account be the problem? If your partner is spending too much then it's selfish behaviour. Having a joint account is the normal thing for a committed couple to have. If you have to ring fence your money, there's something amiss in the relationship.

[doulikefish]

Put me in the "we have separate" accounts column.

All the bills come out of hers and I have a standing order for half every month.Holidays I take care off as it's usually air miles specials and meals out etc we just usually take turns unless it's a special occasion

[scottsdad]

Last night she was flicking through Netflix. She saw Glee listed and put it on, having watched it when it was first on. 

My comment that "This is like watching Dad's Army" as the cast came on the screen did not go down well. 

[strichener]

2 hours ago, scottsdad said:

Last night she was flicking through Netflix. She saw Glee listed and put it on, having watched it when it was first on. 

My comment that "This is like watching Dad's Army" as the cast came on the screen did not go down well. 

Tbf There are probably more people still living from Dad's Army

[Archie McSquackle]

Any bank account, joint or otherwise is only as good as the person(s) running it. 
Any 'hassle' is entirely your own doing. 
I don't know how many accounts she has. I don't need to. We have a joint account to run the household. I've a standing order every month. So does Mrs Tdb. That takes care of everything with a little to spare.  The rest of my money is mine to do with as I please. As is hers. 

That's the way to do it.

[beesher]

6 hours ago, Trackdaybob said:

Any bank account, joint or otherwise is only as good as the person(s) running it. 

Any 'hassle' is entirely your own doing. 

I don't know how many accounts she has. I don't need to. We have a joint account to run the household. I've a standing order every month. So does Mrs Tdb. That takes care of everything with a little to spare.  The rest of my money is mine to do with as I please. As is hers. 

Aye that is true, my problems are of my own making, however it does make you feel like a bit of a p***k for continually moaning about money hence why I tend to let it slide.

[CountyFan]

She's started an Instagram account for a house that hasn't been built yet. 

Furthermore, she's called it "surname at the estate name", using my surname. We are not yet married. 

 

 

 

 

HELP 

[SweeperDee]

Joint account for bills I’ve heard of; I’ve never heard of a joint “spending” account. “Spending” unless it’s for the house is done from me or my partners own account, depending on who and what it’s for. If it’s meal then we take turns about or go halfers. If my missus is wanting to buy fancy shampoo you can be sure as hell it wouldn’t be getting dipped out of a joint account. f**k that for noise.

[die hard doonhamer]

1 account, everything in, everything out from one place. When you have kids and one of you earns several times the other one, I don’t understand why you’d do it any other way. 

[Hillonearth]

On 11/03/2022 at 08:10, Day of the Lords said:

Count me in for the "f**k having a joint account" malarkey. The bills just come out of my account, she gives me half of the household bills, and we each have our own accounts for day to day stuff. I generally sort stuff like holidays etc and she just transfers me her share. Piece of piss. 

Same. We've got the various direct debits roughly split equally between us, and come the start of each month tot up how much each one has paid over the course and split the difference...sometimes she'll owe me twenty or thirty quid, sometimes vice versa.

Takes all of a couple of minutes. And we've never once had to have that "why the f**k did you buy THAT?" conversation.

[The Moonster]

10 hours ago, CountyFan said:

She's started an Instagram account for a house

Why does a house need an Instagram page? Is this normal behaviour? My advice is get out. Don't build the house. Leave her. 

[greendot]

21 minutes ago, The Moonster said:

Why does a house need an Instagram page? Is this normal behaviour? My advice is get out. Don't build the house. Leave her. 

I've seen a few like this. Typically though it's from people who either buy a clapped out old house to do them up or have aspirations of being an interior designer to show off how fashionable they are. Seems odd to create one for a presumable new build where the developer will show you stuff that goes well together depending on your budget so there's very little design input from the customer and is so unique in taste that the smiths two doors down has the exact same decor.

 

Edited

Or it might be a good clue of here's our house, look at the stuff we have, come rob us type scenario as well!

Edited March 14, 2022 by greendot

[SlipperyP]

Had a black out last night about 8pm (it was dark), they happen all the time here.  This one lasted longer than the usual 10 minutes, so she went a looked out the candles.

This is what she did;

Put a plastic washing basket upside down 1m tall.

Put a cup upside down on top of the upside down washing basket.

Put the candle on top cup. 

Ask me for a lighter.

I said 'why don't I just light the fucking house up, to save time'

I'm the bad one here......

 

Edited March 14, 2022 by SlipperyP

[hk blues]

58 minutes ago, SlipperyP said:

Had a black out last night about 8pm (it was dark), they happen all the time here.  This one lasted longer than the usual 10 minutes, so she went a looked out the candles.

This is what she did;

Put a plastic washing basket upside down 1m tall.

Put a cup upside down on top of the upside down washing basket.

Put the candle on top cup. 

Ask me for a lighter.

I said 'why don't I just light the fucking house up, to save time'

I'm the bad one here......

 

We have them here too, frequently during rainy season.  We call them brownouts (unplanned) as opposed to blackouts (planned).  Anyway, we have a rechargeable light with a fan for such situations.  Of course, every time we actually need it for what we bought it it needs recharging.  We then have a groundhog day discussion about how this could happen again despite me recharging it after the last time.  Mostly it turns out either he or my son have been using it for the fan despite us having a/c and numerous fans around. 

[Trackdaybob]

2 hours ago, greendot said:

Typically though it's from people who either buy a clapped out old house to do them up or have aspirations of being an interior designer to show off how fashionable they are attention seeking moon units

There we go  

[Melanius Mullarkey]

13 hours ago, CountyFan said:

She's started an Instagram account for a house that hasn't been built yet. 

Furthermore, she's called it "surname at the estate name", using my surname. We are not yet married. 

 

 

 

 

HELP 

Aw thats really cute.

Spoiler

Leave immediately, do not pack anything, just go. 

 

[ParsJake]

16 hours ago, CountyFan said:

She's started an Instagram account for a house that hasn't been built yet. 

Furthermore, she's called it "surname at the estate name", using my surname. We are not yet married. 

 

 

 

 

HELP