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Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


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New bed day today [emoji16][emoji16]

I'm merrily removing the last of the crap from under the bed in preparation for dismantling it..... Whilst she is loading the top up with stuff so she can "sort" it.

After complaining I was wasting time as we had "loads to do" when I opened the box with my shoes to have a quick glance and see what, if any, are surplus to requirements.

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3 hours ago, The Minertaur said:

 

Is it just a guy thing that as soon as the other half mentions plans that we immediately have our day all planned out?  If she was going to be sitting on Zoom for 10 hours drinking I'd give her peace and go out.  Mainly as I don't want to hear that chat.

Mines the same. She'll mention she's going for a walk with her pal, meeting someone for coffee, going for a swim etc. Each time my instinct is "cool, I'll get time to play FIFA, watch sports or something". I mention possibly going for a game of golf at the weekend.

 

"Oh I thought we could do something together" 

 

"OK, what do you want to do"

 

"Never mind I'll find  something to do by myself if you're wanting to go off and play golf without me"

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Guest bernardblack
3 hours ago, deej said:

Mines the same. She'll mention she's going for a walk with her pal, meeting someone for coffee, going for a swim etc. Each time my instinct is "cool, I'll get time to play FIFA, watch sports or something". I mention possibly going for a game of golf at the weekend.

 

"Oh I thought we could do something together" 

 

"OK, what do you want to do"

 

"Never mind I'll find  something to do by myself if you're wanting to go off and play golf without me"

You should play 72 holes 

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27 minutes ago, coprolite said:

Left approximately 14ml of tropical breakfast juice in the 1l carton and went to the trouble of putting the lid back on and putting it back in the fridge. 

This is so that when she is asked the extremely reasonable question as to why she hasn't replaced the juice she can say that there was still some left. The only solution is to smother her in her sleep.

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13 minutes ago, The Moonster said:

This is so that when she is asked the extremely reasonable question as to why she hasn't replaced the juice she can say that there was still some left. The only solution is to smother her in her sleep.

Sounds a bit humane, i'll let her wake up a bit first. 

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53 minutes ago, coprolite said:

Left approximately 14ml of tropical breakfast juice in the 1l carton and went to the trouble of putting the lid back on and putting it back in the fridge. 

This, but with the milk.

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On 12/04/2021 at 09:27, Busta Nut said:

asked her to repeat what she said after but she said it didn't matter. Nothing more was said on this but what the fucking hell is going through her head? She was watching also she surely knows what was happening at that point also!?

 

I reckon her brain had filled up with information and the chat is the overflow. 
 

Before the next episode, let her chat about shite for about 10 mins to create enough space for the episode.

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1 minute ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

I reckon her brain had filled up with information and the chat is the overflow. 
 

Before the next episode, let her chat about shite for about 10 mins to create enough space for the episode.

image.jpeg.584d31a93744218fa111c6cfb7868f2b.jpeg

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Bought a new couch. The act of sitting on it makes it sag a bit behind where your back is. This means every night before bed she has to go through a palava of flipping the cushions and hammering then as hard as she can, before fluffing then up and putting them back in position. If we don't it won't look new anymore. I made the mistake of asking if this is just while it's new, or will this have to be done for the lifetime of the couch. Wrong question, but the answer is lifetime of the couch. 

Each batter of the couch is clearly punctuated with extra rage because I find it a pointless farce so don't join in - but of course whenever I have decided to help with this baffling process, I "don't do it right". 

🤷‍♂️ 

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1 hour ago, beesher said:

We have varying ideas of what constitutes barbecue weather.

My wife wants to have one on Saturday with the forecast being 12 degrees and cloudy.  I think this is a mad idea.

Who is wrong?

You.  It's best to start with that premise in all situations.

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Guest bernardblack
8 hours ago, madwullie said:

Bought a new couch. The act of sitting on it makes it sag a bit behind where your back is. This means every night before bed she has to go through a palava of flipping the cushions and hammering then as hard as she can, before fluffing then up and putting them back in position. If we don't it won't look new anymore. I made the mistake of asking if this is just while it's new, or will this have to be done for the lifetime of the couch. Wrong question, but the answer is lifetime of the couch. 

Each batter of the couch is clearly punctuated with extra rage because I find it a pointless farce so don't join in - but of course whenever I have decided to help with this baffling process, I "don't do it right". 

🤷‍♂️

This 1000000 times this. 

“You’ve not done that right”

I don’t understand how it’s possible to be done incorrectly 

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7 hours ago, madwullie said:

Bought a new couch. The act of sitting on it makes it sag a bit behind where your back is. This means every night before bed she has to go through a palava of flipping the cushions and hammering then as hard as she can, before fluffing then up and putting them back in position. If we don't it won't look new anymore. I made the mistake of asking if this is just while it's new, or will this have to be done for the lifetime of the couch. Wrong question, but the answer is lifetime of the couch. 

Each batter of the couch is clearly punctuated with extra rage because I find it a pointless farce so don't join in - but of course whenever I have decided to help with this baffling process, I "don't do it right". 

🤷‍♂️

I feel your pain.

Every single night the couch must be put back into showroom condition.

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We have varying ideas of what constitutes barbecue weather.
My wife wants to have one on Saturday with the forecast being 12 degrees and cloudy.  I think this is a mad idea.
Who is wrong?
My other half is the exact same. The slightest hint of dry weather and she suggests a barbecue. Doesn't matter what time of year.

My argument is that barbecues are for the summer months only and since I do the cooking this is one of the few arguments I tend to win.
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1 hour ago, RiffRaff said:

I feel your pain.

Every single night the couch must be put back into showroom condition.

I got questioned when she got in today because the cushions on the couch had been moved. I explained I'd sat on it to have my lunch. I have a reminder to sit in my own seat in future.

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Since we can gather in groups of 6 from 6 households, she has said her parents and brother are coming up on Saturday.  I advise her I am watching the Falkirk game at 12. She cracks up saying I am not sitting in the house when her family are here - as if they are the fucking Windsors. She knew fine well I'd be watching the football yet invites them up because it suits her. Her dad and brother are also Falkirk fans but would never pay for an away stream. 

So now I am to turn the TV unit and point it out the patio doors so we can watch the game whilst sitting distanced in the garden. Absolutely fuming. 

To compound matters, I am no longer allowed to call Mark Durnan and Connor Sammon useless c***s as it will cause offence. 

I've never considered myself to be very rough spoken but this family are a bunch of vanilla c***s. 

 

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