Kennboy1978 Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 That's it. My child who has autism who is just expressing himself just needs a good skelp. That will work. No one has said that, the poster quoted what he was answering to.I think smacking has a time and place. Obviously smacking a kid with autism is wrong and you can add to that numerous other situations. No one has said, kid does something bad = A good scud.To answer your previous question about smacking outside, maybe perhaps, some parents don't want to cause embarrassment to the child and themselves. I've never raised my voice at my son in a busy supermarket for example for that reason. I have taken him to a quiet bit or outside but never in a busy place.Back in the house - Totally different, you don't have to.If folk want to shout at their kids, while others look on, fine it's their choice. It's not mine. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The OP Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 I remember when I was younger (I'm 30) schemie parents dragging their child by the hand and shouting that they were going to give them a skelp was a lot more common. I was going to say 'normal' instead of 'common' at first but it never struck me as normal behaviour. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted October 25, 2017 Author Share Posted October 25, 2017 Oldest child has autism so that can be quite challenging. For him getting in trouble it's usually me taking him from whatever area I'm at to calm him down, a distraction usually works. Certain toys he has he likes, they sometimes get taken away if need be.A raise of the voice to youngest works with him, as well as toys been taken away. I'm quite a calm person and dealing with my oldest can be challenging but many a scenario he dosnt know what he has done /doing is wrong or is bad so each scenario can take a while for him to understand it's wrong. I imagine the autism thing can be challenging. My wee brother's oldest kid has Aspergers Syndrome. Luckily my wee brother is also quite a calm person. Personally, I can be calm and reasoned up to a point with my kids. However, I have very little patience, which is something that I needed to work on. My kids have iPAD minis but they get these for being good rather than all the time. I haven't really tried taking toys away as they have plenty and would just play with some other ones. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 2 hours ago, Kennboy1978 said: I think smacking has a time and place. Between consenting adults as part of a loving relationship imo. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milton75 Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 On 10/20/2017 at 19:34, Bairnardo said: Why would you hit your grandparents? Why are people throwing these bizarre examples in? Hitting children is not some new fad that has reared up and then been deemed unacceptable and made illegal. I imagine everyone posting on here was struck in some way by their parents. It's been going on since time began as a means of teaching discipline. Either FAR less people were struck by their parents when they were young than I imagine, or, I am surrounded by abuse victims everywhere I look. My parents struck me VERY occasionally. Never hard, never excessive and never with anything other than an open hand. I have no objection to studies being done etc to show whether it is or isn't of value, and no objection to laws changing on that basis, but anyone claiming that this practice makes my parents bad can f**k right off with this bullshit revisionism. I find myself in much the same position as yourself, however what I would say is that, rather than being annoyed about this "revisionism", just accept that (as with much in society), our parent simply didn't have the information available to them to make the wiser choices that we can now make. They weren't necessarily worse drivers for not wearing seatbelts or motorcycle helmets either, but laws change and in this case change for the better. Without wanting to make generalisations (he says before making one), the parents that I see smacking their children nowadays do generally, and sadly, often fall into the scumbag category. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glassnahalf Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 I abhor a smacking ban. Criminalising parents protecting their children from danger is too off for me... -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PB 4.2 Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 2 minutes ago, glassnahalf said: I abhor a smacking ban. Criminalising parents protecting their children from danger is too off for me... Word Salad. Time you were banned again, McSpreader. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glassnahalf Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 14 minutes ago, PB 4.2 said: Word Salad. Time you were banned again, McSpreader. Hello Mr PB4.2 (what happened to . 0 and .1 etc) Don't have a clue about the salad WORD, I'm afraid. As I've said before I've smacked one of my children only once in 30 years of parenting. -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glassnahalf Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 You still good for banning me, not this mcspreader? moron. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 On 24/10/2017 at 20:32, whiskychimp said: Mine bloody wasn't. She was a manipulative little shit. She'd also have slit my throat for trying to get a shot of her mum's tits. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheProgressiveLiberal Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 On 10/23/2017 at 17:17, banana said: Read up on domestic violence (i.e. physical violence in the home) being generational. That is, hit kids tend to hit their kids/partners, who also tend to hit their kids/partners, and so on. I realise violence is on a continuum from light tapping of a kid's hand once in a blue moon to regular beatings. Hitting a girl as a small child was a guaranteed spanking for me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 (edited) 4 hours ago, oaksoft said: . There is no such thing as "teenage tantrums". Well thats just baws. Hormonal and brain developmental "tantrums" are actual things I agree wholeheartedly with the yes/no thing Edited October 26, 2017 by whiskychimp 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted October 26, 2017 Author Share Posted October 26, 2017 The problem here is that you are talking about how to deal with a symptom rather than dealing with the actual problem. You need to be developing a relationship with your kids from as early as possible. Half the trouble comes from inconsistent parenting. The kid gets to know that No sometimes means Yes if they push the right button. Eventually the parent gives up for an easy life. The other half of the problem is giving young kids everything they want until they get to their teenage years, start pushing the boundaries and then they hear a firm No for the first time. What SHOULD be happening is that the kids should see themselves given a looser rein as they get older. Too many parents tighten the reins as the kids get older. This what is meant by shit parenting and these lazy parents get the teenagers they deserve. There is no such thing as "teenage tantrums". This is quite simply years of utterly shite parenting causing an overflow of frustration in people too young to know how to deal with their idiot parents. I would have thought regular contact and conversations with your kids throughout their early years does develop relationships with them. Younger kids don't like hearing No either. When they hear No this is only one of the instances where they sometimes become upset/annoyed. As a loving parent I want to say Yes more than No, for example 'Yes, we can go to the park'. If you mainly say No to your kids, it probably won't lead to a very healthy relationship with them. It's a balance, like most things in life. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1320Lichtie Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 The problem here is that you are talking about how to deal with a symptom rather than dealing with the actual problem. You need to be developing a relationship with your kids from as early as possible. Half the trouble comes from inconsistent parenting. The kid gets to know that No sometimes means Yes if they push the right button. Eventually the parent gives up for an easy life. The other half of the problem is giving young kids everything they want until they get to their teenage years, start pushing the boundaries and then they hear a firm No for the first time. What SHOULD be happening is that the kids should see themselves given a looser rein as they get older. Too many parents tighten the reins as the kids get older. This what is meant by shit parenting and these lazy parents get the teenagers they deserve. There is no such thing as "teenage tantrums". This is quite simply years of utterly shite parenting causing an overflow of frustration in people too young to know how to deal with their idiot parents. There is no such thing as 'teenage tantrums'? Everyone turns into a fucking weirdo at some point as a teenager, it's obviously a long time since you've been to high school. What a lot of utter pish. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 36 minutes ago, oaksoft said: Nope it's frustration borne out of teenagers feeling they are not being listened to and an inability to work out how to deal with that. Both have pish parenting at their root. Colour me convinced. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1320Lichtie Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 I don't believe Oaksoft genuinely believes what he's saying here.Out looking for an argument, best ignored. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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