Dating advice for P&Bers

[Richey Edwards]

Do you have any dating advice you'd like to share with Pie and Bovril?

I'm going on a date shortly. Not that I need advice, because I'm handsome as f**k, but not everyone is so lucky.

Here's a few Richey approved tips that'll have you #punching in no time!

Tip 1 - don't bring up Pie and Bovril. 

Tip 2 - always brush your teeth (or tooth if you're from Fife).

Tip 3 - don't wear a tracksuit 

Tip 4 - compliment a girl on her appearance even if she looks like a painter's radio. It'll get you places.

Anymore?

[ICTChris]

Take her for a pizza at 10am and put aftershave in your mouth.

[Marsh]

31 minutes ago, Richey Edwards said:

Do you have any dating advice you'd like to share with Pie and Bovril?

I'm going on a date shortly. Not that I need advice, because I'm handsome as f**k, but not everyone is so lucky.

Here's a few Richey approved tips that'll have you #punching in no time!

Tip 1 - don't bring up Pie and Bovril. 

Tip 2 - always brush your teeth (or tooth if you're from Fife).

Tip 3 - don't wear a tracksuit 

Tip 4 - compliment a girl on her appearance even if she looks like a painter's radio. It'll get you places.

Anymore?

Surely that would be your intention after the date?

[Brother Blades]

When asked by the waiter what your choice of starter is- always reply “muff”. That’s all I have to say about this.

[NJ2]

Don’t go on a date on a Thursday. It’s awkward. I mean only one working day of the week left so could really have a couple but don’t want to end up getting steaming and not going home before work tomorrow, but don’t want to not drink and come across like a weirdo - can’t even say because work tomorrow as it’s only Friday. Other than, never have a date on a Thursday I reckon it’s all about personality etc.
(Got you thinking now Richey eh!) best of luck, good sir.

[Priti priti priti Patel]

Just ask them questions about themselves. You don't even need to listen to the answer except for the last few words. Then just ask them another question "how did you feel?" "is that important to you" etc. You will look smooth and interested in her (or him) while not actually putting in any effort.

[ICTChris]

49 minutes ago, Richey Edwards said:

 

Tip 3 - don't wear a tracksuit 

 

I went to the cinema recently and there were a number of patrons who were obviously on a date - the young woman nicely dressed, making an effort but without going over the top but the man wearing grey tracksuit bottoms with the arse hanging out of them.  Absolute slovens.

[ayrmad]

8 minutes ago, NJ2 said:

Don’t go on a date on a Thursday. It’s awkward. I mean only one working day of the week left so could really have a couple but don’t want to end up getting steaming and not going home before work tomorrow, but don’t want to not drink and come across like a weirdo - can’t even say because work tomorrow as it’s only Friday. Other than, never have a date on a Thursday I reckon it’s all about personality etc.
(Got you thinking now Richey eh!) best of luck, good sir.

Some of my best nights were Thursday', what the f**k wants to date a measured and sensible guy, they might want to marry one but they sure as hell want some excitement before then.

[NJ2]

Some of my best nights were Thursday', what the f**k wants to date a measured and sensible guy, they might want to marry one but they sure as hell want some excitement before then.

Aye, some of your best nights were Thursdays but I doubt for your date watching you get hammered, spilling your chips and saying “whit is it ye dae again pal?” Is high on many of your dates lists.
(My post was only in jest to get Richey over analysing it. Relax, enjoy it and if nothing comes of it who really cares anyway, no worse off for the experience)

[Brother Blades]

Finger blast her / him just before you introduce yourself. Great ice-breaker, I’ve found.











Giles. Age 34 1/2, C block.

[Cardinal Richelieu]

5 minutes ago, throbber said:

The only question I ever need to ask is “what hole do you want it in first?”

 

^^^ A ladies' man.

[DutchBorderer]

5 minutes ago, throbber said:

The only question I ever need to ask is “what hole do you want it in first?”

At long last your username makes sense.

[welshbairn]

Always leave a bottle of lucozade under your bed in case you get lucky.

[Barry Ferguson's Hat]

For God's sake don't take them to an all-you-can-eat buffet and proceed to fill your plate with boiled eggs before swallowing each one of them whole whilst looking them in the eye and trying to hold a conversation.

[Guest JTS98]

Tell her a funny and interesting story about some previous date that you went home with then never called back.

Ladies love a bad boy.

[LincolnHearts]

Give yer boaby a rinse under the tap.

[Guest JTS98]

10 minutes ago, LincolnHearts said:

Give yer boaby a rinse under the tap.

Under his fitba tap? He might get caught.

[Cerberus]

If she’s a nice lassie and you expect to bring her back to your hoose then give it a quick clean especially the bathroom.

Women don’t like dirty bathrooms with pish marks on the side of the pan.

[Blootoon87]

Take her round the roughest pubs you can think of, as a kind of snobbery test. If she's happy enough then you've got a keeper, and she's probably quite keen in the bedroom.

[Dr Watson]

Always do the finger test before diving in face first.