Wardy Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 I once got a double barrelled foot pump from my parents, as I dropped into conversation that I had a slow puncture in one of my tyres the previous week. They thought it was funny. I thought it was shite. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 8 hours ago, TheIntenseHummingOfEvil said: Somecunt bought me a talking clock for Christmas one year. It told you the time every fifteen minutes and there was no way to mute it. I took the batteries out after an hour and a half and never put them back in. If you're ever in Poundland in Falkirk, there's an odd noise that can be heard echoing through the air vents in a certain part of the shop, and it's always there. Curiosity got the better of me, so I asked a staff member what it was, and he said it comes from the stock room. The alarm system makes a constant noise in the back so that everybody knows it's working. I thought he was kidding at first, but his weary expression bore the mark of a man who hears that noise in his sleep. Have any P&Bers seen fit to install an 'everything's OK' alarm? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 An afro comb. (I suffer from male pattern baldness) To be fair to my daughter, she thought it would be just the thing to tidy up my beard since I'm currently described as looking like a "jakey tramp" Also can be used to comb your pubes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Wing Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 I'll let the wife know 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 2 hours ago, Chicken Wing said: An afro comb. (I suffer from male pattern baldness) To be fair to my daughter, she thought it would be just the thing to tidy up my beard since I'm currently described as looking like a "jakey tramp" She has a point 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Wing Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 She has a point Which point?Point A - pattern baldnessPoint B- jakey tramp 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 My 10 yr old son got two lynx gift sets, and so it begins! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 46 minutes ago, Chicken Wing said: Which point? Point A - pattern baldness Point B- jakey tramp Bit of both 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rizzo Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 4 hours ago, Chicken Wing said: An afro comb. (I suffer from male pattern baldness) To be fair to my daughter, she thought it would be just the thing to tidy up my beard since I'm currently described as looking like a "jakey tramp" Paul Hartley found. ^ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Wing Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 Paul Hartley found. ^I'm better dressed but more overweight 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Wing Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 Bit of both You have a point! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 (edited) 11 minutes ago, Chicken Wing said: I'm better dressed but more overweight No chance. Hartley is much fatter than you! In fact you aren't even fat! A fine figure of a man! 11 minutes ago, Chicken Wing said: 37 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: Bit of both You have a point! Indeeeeeeeeeeeddd!!! Edited December 26, 2018 by DA Baracus 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 I'm looking forward to my parents visiting tomorrow. My old man is currently in the doghouse having got my mum a jersey a size too big, the wrong brand of perfume and some plastic washing line thing to hang socks and knickers on. Could be an entertaining morning tbh. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DumbartonBud Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 My boss of 5 years got me a gift, wine (very nice) and aftershave. I have a hipster beard and he also spelt my name wrong on the gift tag ...... about to look at S1 jobs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Wing Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 Indeeeeeeeeeeeddd!!!Oh you! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 I'm better undressed[emoji8] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 Not a shite present really, and not even for me, but the Baby Bairnardos got a wooden shop/cafe thing which is doing my fucking tits in because A, we have nowhere to put it, and B, it came without a million wee bits of plastic/cardboard food etc which are routinely being horsed all over the place and needing tidied up approximately every 20 minutes 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 On 24/12/2018 at 18:24, Tony Ferrino said: My wife doesn't bother getting me anything these days, but back when we made an effort I remember getting an Abba cd, a book on after dinner speeches and a succesion of jumpers Fred West wouldn't be seen dead in. Apparently, she made no effort I got aftershave, a wallet, a belt and slippers. I'd have prefered nothing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 https://twitter.com/chaeronaea/status/1077383784339857413 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marly Posted December 28, 2018 Share Posted December 28, 2018 A pair of socks for a child. That's a fucking great swap! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.