Weird songs you’ve heard at the football

[Scary Bear]

The ‘80s were a magical time. I first dabbled in attending football matches around 1986. There was the usual mix of racism, homophobia, and sexual references in the songs and chants that people sang at the football. One of the songs I heard in my formative years was at a Motherwell away game. It has May in the lyrics so it seems an appropriate starting point. Even if it is a bit sex-offendery. As the teachers tell the kids these days, it’s inappropriate.

Why people were singing this at the football, I have no idea. Why they decided to sexualise Mother Brown, is unknown. Answers would be appreciated from anyone in the know.

Here it is...

I was lying in the bath one day, in the merry, merry month of May, and the hair was lying thick from my belly to my p***k, when I Mother Brown say, if I catch you wanking, I’ll cut your cock right off, so knees up, knees up, get your fucking knees up, knees up Mother Brown, oh my what a rotten song, sing!, what a rotten song, what a rotten song, oh my what a rotten song, sing!, what rotten singers too-ooo-ooo-

It was quite catchy. Bit of na-na-na-ing  at the end and quite a bit of bouncing around and sways on the terrace.

What weird songs have you heard at the football? To be clear, I’m going for weird rather than banned.

[Myles Offside]

Can't get much weirder than that old Shire favourite.... all together now.... "Self Assembly Furniture......."

[Venti]

Weirdest was the English fans singing 'No surrender to the IRA' (Give me joy in my heart)

When we played them in the playoffs 1999.

Asked a guy at the bar if they knew who they were playing.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

“Would you like to sit on my face, it’s a very comfortable place”.  Went on for a lot more than I care to remember. 

(would you like to swing on a star)

Away to Motherwell many moons ago.

 

[Benjamin_Nevis]

St Mirren fans at Tannadice in 88-89. A shite end of season 0-0 was livened up one day guy with a massive beard starting with "The hiiiiiiiills are alive with the sound of... ///dramatic pause\\\ ... BILLY THOMSON IS A w****r"

Weird, but funny at the time.

[tamthebam]

"Please release me, let me go,

For I don't love you any more,

To waste our lives would be a sin,

So release me.. and let me f**k again,

Oh f**k again.

Clap-Clap-Clap THISTLE!"

An old Meadowbank favourite which used to make me laugh. We had quite a few weird songs which was much of the fun of watching Thistle.

[Ebanda's Handyman Services]

Reading supporters used to sing to the tune of Madonna's Erotica.. 

Bill Odie

Bill Odie 

Rub your beard all over my body

[BigBo10]

To the tune of the adams family.
Your father is your brother.
Your sister is your mother.
You all f**k one another.
The Ipswich family.

[Todd_is_God]

I always found the QotS song about a wheelbarrow that's wheel feel off an odd one.

[philpy]

There is a team in glasgow who's fans sings songs about a club that doesn't exist anymore...

[Derry Alli]

49 minutes ago, BigBo10 said:

To the tune of the adams family.
Your father is your brother.
Your sister is your mother.
You all f**k one another.
The Ipswich family.

Edit : the clips are about 6 years old but the song itself is about 20.

Edited May 1, 2021 by Mr. Alli

[tamthebam]

Not weird then but weird now given his shiny heid:

I can remember Falkirk fans chanting "Hair..hair..hair..hair Houston!" about Peter Houston.

[johnnydun]

'We hope she had AIDS' sung to David Goodwillie.

Or 'You're just a shite Ched Evans'.

The retort was fantastic, one woman in the Dick Donald singing 'He shags who he wants' followed by the whole of Pittodrie booing her.

Edited May 2, 2021 by johnnydun

[19QOS19]

Not at the football but years ago I can mind a drunk Scotland supporter on the train continually singing "The wallpaper sticks to the wall". No idea what that was all about.

['WellDel]

A couple of posts already about weird sexual references being sung at Fir Park, but the best by far in that regard heard there has to our classic Muff Diver song - to the tune of The Wild Rover. 

I've been a Muff diver for many a year, 

And I've spent all my money on Muff diving gear, 

From goggles and flippers to oxygen tank, 

If I can't have a Muff dive I'll just have a w**k, 

And it's Motherwell, Motherwell Fc, We're by far the greatest team the world has ever seen. 

[Boghead ranter]

Whenever we played Queens Park, a group of Dumbarton fans used to chant (to the tune of Yellow Submarine)

"We all live in a communist housing scheme, a communist housing scheme, a communist housing scheme..."  over and over.

[speckled tangerine]

14 hours ago, tamthebam said:

"Please release me, let me go,

For I don't love you any more,

To waste our lives would be a sin,

So release me.. and let me f**k again,

Oh f**k again.

Clap-Clap-Clap THISTLE!"

An old Meadowbank favourite which used to make me laugh. We had quite a few weird songs which was much of the fun of watching Thistle.

As listed in the Fisul festive fifty in AWOL! What a load of shite was sung at matches.

[Tony Ferrino]

When fans sing "You're going home in a xxxxxxx ambulance". Ambulances take people to hospital.

[Derry Alli]

6 minutes ago, Tony Ferrino said:

When fans sing "You're going home in a xxxxxxx ambulance". Ambulances take people to hospital.

Followed by "I'm going home on the.. BUS!" 

[hearthammer]

This got lots of publicity at the time.