Central Belt Caley Posted January 16 Share Posted January 16 2 hours ago, tinkerbelle said: Whilst listening to Talksport radio today, the presenter passed a comment about a friend of his. He said that when his friend went for a dump in his own house, he would always strip naked before doing the said deed. Almost immediately the producer on the other side of the studio said he did the same thing. Then the co-presenter, ex football player Darren Bent said that he also stripped off when going to the toilet!! Never heard of this before. Anybody on here do the same? My pal does this but he does something even weirder that he only just revealed recently. When he’s doing a shite he doesn’t sit on the seat, he sits directly on the porcelain. Apparently he finds the seat uncomfortable and sitting on the porcelain means his knee are higher so it’s easier 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Ferguson's Hat Posted January 16 Share Posted January 16 The correct way is to remove trousers and undergarments then sit on the seat facing the wall. The cistern can then be used as a coffee table. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted January 16 Share Posted January 16 1 minute ago, Barry Ferguson's Hat said: The correct way is to remove trousers and undergarments then sit on the seat facing the wall. The cistern can then be used as a coffee table. Where did you have your lunch thread for this pish. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted January 16 Share Posted January 16 The archaic word "sennight" to describe a week, in the same way that fortnight means two weeks. I'm going to start trying to make it popular again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Ferguson's Hat Posted January 16 Share Posted January 16 9 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Where did you have your lunch thread for this pish. That reminds me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted January 16 Share Posted January 16 3 hours ago, tinkerbelle said: Whilst listening to Talksport radio today, the presenter passed a comment about a friend of his. He said that when his friend went for a dump in his own house, he would always strip naked before doing the said deed. Almost immediately the producer on the other side of the studio said he did the same thing. Then the co-presenter, ex football player Darren Bent said that he also stripped off when going to the toilet!! Never heard of this before. Anybody on here do the same? 1 hour ago, Central Belt Caley said: My pal does this but he does something even weirder that he only just revealed recently. When he’s doing a shite he doesn’t sit on the seat, he sits directly on the porcelain. Apparently he finds the seat uncomfortable and sitting on the porcelain means his knee are higher so it’s easier Sounds like the weirdos that stand up to wipe and go back to front. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salt n Vinegar Posted January 16 Share Posted January 16 22 minutes ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said: Sounds like the weirdos that stand up to wipe and go back to front. Does King Luggie employ a Groom of the Stool? The Daily Mail probably sends a junior staffer along to do it for free. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crawford Posted January 16 Share Posted January 16 Moldova and Albania have laws that prevent YouTube showing adverts. VPN either country and you have free premium. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 6 hours ago, Central Belt Caley said: My pal does this but he does something even weirder that he only just revealed recently. When he’s doing a shite he doesn’t sit on the seat, he sits directly on the porcelain. Apparently he finds the seat uncomfortable and sitting on the porcelain means his knee are higher so it’s easier This is actually pretty smart. Squatting opens everything up and makes evacuation much easier, preventing the necessity of squeezing it out (which can result in piles). I had a mate once who put a couple of wooden blocks under his feet to raise them up and I have another mate who installed a squatting toilet. Your mate is a man of resourcefulness and sagacity. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 Aye, squatting and bum gun for me. No effort required, only problem as soon as I stand up I need a pish. Took a few times to get the posture correct. Now I feel awkward on a sit toilet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 10 hours ago, tinkerbelle said: Whilst listening to Talksport radio today, the presenter passed a comment about a friend of his. He said that when his friend went for a dump in his own house, he would always strip naked before doing the said deed. Almost immediately the producer on the other side of the studio said he did the same thing. Then the co-presenter, ex football player Darren Bent said that he also stripped off when going to the toilet!! Never heard of this before. Anybody on here do the same? Both my wife and son take a shower after taking a dump. My son strips off before said dump, my wife not although I believe she does before taking the shower. Not every time though, but if time permits. And no, they don't take a dump in the shower. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Khaki Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 Stripping naked for a shite is common in autistic people. I'm not suggesting everyone who does it is autistic, but it is something that I've heard of before in that context. FWIW, I can't sit on the loo if my arms are covered, so if I'm wearing a jumper over a teeshirt I have to take the jumper off, or if I'm wearing a shirt I have to roll the sleeves up before I sit down. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 5 hours ago, velo army said: This is actually pretty smart. Squatting opens everything up and makes evacuation much easier, preventing the necessity of squeezing it out (which can result in piles). I had a mate once who put a couple of wooden blocks under his feet to raise them up and I have another mate who installed a squatting toilet. Your mate is a man of resourcefulness and sagacity. I read an article about shiting posture last year, said something about there being a relatively rigid wall of muscle at the front of the rectum that's only fully opened with your knees higher than your hips. It's made shitting a much more satisfactory process and removed the need for extra time and penalties. Shitting position should be taught at primary school along with the washing your hands and disclosing tablets lessons. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leith Green Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 13 minutes ago, coprolite said: I read an article about shiting posture last year I found this revelation more amusing than the actual chat about people taking their clothes off for a jobby ! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 5 hours ago, SlipperyP said: Aye, squatting and bum gun for me. No effort required, only problem as soon as I stand up I need a pish. Took a few times to get the posture correct. Now I feel awkward on a sit toilet. Surprisingly, there are no squat toilets here - all are the sitting style. But, many folk have them but no plumbing so a bucket of water is used. My in-laws are the same but they turn on the water when I'm visiting! See the bum guns from time-to-time but not common. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 18 minutes ago, hk blues said: Surprisingly, there are no squat toilets here - all are the sitting style. But, many folk have them but no plumbing so a bucket of water is used. My in-laws are the same but they turn on the water when I'm visiting! See the bum guns from time-to-time but not common. The hose on every toilet was one of the best things about living in the Middle East. Way more hygienic and sanitary but only when in your own home. Wouldn't want to use it when in a public toilet but then again I have trained my colon not to ask for such things when away from my house. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 I remember my first trip to India and being confronted by a cubicle with a bum gun and no toilet paper/drying capabilities. Just held it in. Not sure what I was supposed to do. Wait there until my ring piece dried off naturally? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 2 hours ago, Leith Green said: I found this revelation more amusing than the actual chat about people taking their clothes off for a jobby ! Shite Monthly. It's a magazine, not an instruction. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MazzyStar Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 15 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkant said: I remember my first trip to India and being confronted by a cubicle with a bum gun and no toilet paper/drying capabilities. Just held it in. Not sure what I was supposed to do. Wait there until my ring piece dried off naturally? Hand drier 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 5 minutes ago, MazzyStar said: Hand drier He would end up getting it chapped. Spoiler Not that kind of chapped Kenneth! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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