Bland bands

[tongue_tied_danny]

Let's have a bit of a chinwag about bland bands.

I'm talking about successful musical acts who are so f**king pointless that you don't even notice them. Their latest hit comes on the radio and you have forgotten about it even before it's finished. The sort of band who you would barely notice, even if they were twatting you on the head with their guitars.

Please do not tell me about bands who you actively dislike or who you consider to be shite. That suggests an emotional response. I want to know about acts who would have to up their game dramatically to be elevated into shiteness.

About a year ago Bombay Bicycle Club played a gig at Fat Sam's in Dundee. I wasn't familiar with their music but I was aware that they'd been on the go for years with reasonable success.

I went along with an open mind but what I witnessed was so insipid and inoffensive that I zoned out completely and daydreamed my way through the entire set. I didn't even realise that they'd finished until the rest of the audience pushed past me on their way to the exit. I am still none the wiser as to what they actually sound like.

So tell me about similar experiences with popular, successful acts who have inspired complete indifference in you.

 

[pozbaird]

Elbow.

[Richey Edwards]

I was dragged to see Snow Patrol at the SECC in 2009 and it was honestly the most boring concert I have ever been to.

[MazzyStar]

Coldplay, obviously 

[Miguel Sanchez]

People actively listen to Vampire Weekend, I don't know what else to say.

[scottsdad]

The Fray.

Non stop on radio in the 2000s. Utterly bland.

[Cptn Hooch]

3 hours ago, MazzyStar said:

Coldplay, obviously 

The beige Volvo of music

[Arch Stanton]

The ridiculously misnomered Savage Garden.

[carpetmonster]

4 hours ago, pozbaird said:

Elbow.

Elbow made me angry because they got the Mercury Prize over Burial’s Untrue which was clearly the album of that year by a country mile; the judges obviously figured it was a year that a guitar band had to get it for whatever reason. That’s the only time they’ve ever stirred any emotion in me. 

Edited November 29 by carpetmonster

[tamthebam]

I find Taylor Swift a bit bland to be honest. 

I must have turned into my dad. 

[BFTD]

I think we can immediately discount all of those limp indie landfill acts from the Noughties like Coldplay and Snow Patrol. The musical equivalent of slipping into a nice warm bath with a straight razor.

Nickelback and Creed are rock bands for people who find the genre a bit too edgy and threatening, but were born too late for Perry Como and Pat Boone.

[Cptn Hooch]

47 minutes ago, BFTD said:

Nickelback and Creed are rock bands for people who find the genre a bit too edgy and threatening, but were born too late for Perry Como and Pat Boone.

I don't get the hate for either band...I'm a big fan of some of the more extreme metal/punk etc but really like Nickelback and, to a lesser extent, creed. Saw Nickelback live earlier this year and they were utterly fantastic

[mcjameos]

London Grammar. Described as a young indie pop band who've been around for 10 years or so. Had never heard of them but thought cheap tickets for the Hydro on an otherwise uneventful evening must at least be ok. We were in the minority as thousands of others clearly thought they were excellent but, for us, bland beyond belief.

[Raith2711]

Coldplay 

Elbow

Stereophonics (possibly with the exception of Performance and Cocktails)

Twin Atlantic

Keane

The Lathums

Blossoms

Edited November 30 by Raith2711

[BFTD]

On 30/11/2024 at 00:59, Cptn Hooch said:

I don't get the hate for either band...I'm a big fan of some of the more extreme metal/punk etc but really like Nickelback and, to a lesser extent, creed. Saw Nickelback live earlier this year and they were utterly fantastic

It's not hate, just total apathy.

They've made fortunes out of producing rock-tinged aural noises for your granny, so good for them, but imagine if you'd spent the majority of your life pursuing such a middle-of-the-road inoffensive dream and the money never arrived. I can't imagine they'd be looking at their back catalogues and thinking, "yep, totally proud of the sonic landscapes we've dedicated our lives to creating".

[Starksdynamo]

Blossoms are so boring that it's not even worth being annoyed at them.

Edited Sunday at 21:08 by Starksdynamo

[Joe Terrapin]

4 minutes ago, Starksdynamo said:

Blossoms are so boring that it's not even worse being annoyed at them.

I disagree, their lead singer with the floppy hair annoys the f**k out of me.

[paranoid android]

Foo Fighters - really bland songwriting. 

The only FF song that's ever done anything for me is 'Next Year', which is still quite bland. 

[coprolite]

Bonobo. The best ape, but utterly insipid elevator music.

[ManBearPig]

The Killers - apparently Mr Brightside is one of the UK's favourite singalong numbers, I couldn't even tell you how it goes. Beige forgettable music.