AsimButtHitsASix Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 16 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: At risk of a 'whoosh', I mean this: Any better? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 (edited) 45 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: People who open packets of crisps the wrong way up. Maybe we've all been doing it wrong, as evidenced by monkeys and bananas Edited February 15, 2017 by Shandon Par 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 On 2/14/2017 at 17:29, welshbairn said: It's ok to hog the middle lane if the inside is one long queue of lorries, even if with the odd space, and you're keeping to 70/75 min. Otherwise just slot in behind a lorry and save fuel. Unless you're meaning 70-75kmph you are advocating that everyone driving in an overtaking lane should be breaking the national speed limit. Slightly irresponsible... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 3 minutes ago, Angusfifer said: Unless you're meaning 70-75kmph you are advocating that everyone driving in an overtaking lane should be breaking the national speed limit. Slightly irresponsible... I talked to a traffic cop who said they would never do someone for driving safely at 79 or less in a 70 limit. There's an unspoken 10% allowance for dodgy speedos. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 11 hours ago, Shandon Par said: Wash down a bottle of night nurse with some brandy and you'll be fine. I put gin in my Lemsip. The alcohol goes up in the steam, really clears the tubes. It tastes better as well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 "He's hit that too well" WTF. I hate football commentators. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 2 hours ago, Angusfifer said: Unless you're meaning 70-75kmph you are advocating that everyone driving in an overtaking lane should be breaking the national speed limit. Slightly irresponsible... Totally agree. If they're doing less than 80mph they're not doing it right. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toma_BullyWee Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 (edited) Going to pretend this thread is called "Fucking scunner". My return to Broadwood went well. Awful game, 88th minute equaliser for us to delay the inevitable followed by a potential own goal very late into extra time to pap us oot regardless and arsehole here lost his wallet. Edit. cannae spell either. Edited February 15, 2017 by Toma_BullyWee 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 1 hour ago, Sergeant Wilson said: I put gin in my Lemsip. The alcohol goes up in the steam, really clears the tubes. It tastes better as well. It's vital the youngsters learn these life skills. Lemsip espresso is my tip. Just enough boiling water to melt the fuckers, washed down with spirits. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Self service machines where they first ask you if you're using your own bags... only to ask straight away afterwards "enter the number of bags you used". Two actually, but they were both mine, like I f***in' told you when you asked. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toma_BullyWee Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 5 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: At risk of a 'whoosh', I mean this: I remember when I was a wee boy I used to stay with my uncle every other weekend. I have no idea why, he had 4 kids of his own, but anyway my wee cousin opened the packet like that and her twin sister told her it was wrong, so she turned it upside down and my uncle lost the rag. He was like a walking panic attack back then. Saying that, 5 weans running about on your only days off work... It makes sense really. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 10 hours ago, welshbairn said: There's an unspoken 10% allowance for dodgy speedos. Have you ever thought about getting some Speedos that fit you better? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 Apparently I'm going to be up all night with acid exploding from both ends 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 A fruit pastilles lolly up the arse will sort one end. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 6 minutes ago, Cerberus said: A fruit pastilles lolly up the arse will sort one end. For about two minutes, before it melts, or the acid eats it away. I'd try it, though. Absolute agony back there. Maybe try a few ice cubes to kill the nerve endings for a bit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 Apparently a sure-fire cold remedy is chocolate. The Mayans used to eat it to stave off colds. However, you need to eat a lot of it - the equivalent of fourteen 4-finger Kit Kats in one sitting. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasy23 Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 "He's hit that too well" WTF. I hate football commentators. One of my other pet commentary hates is "he's just about kept it out." He either did or he didn't ya fkn clownboot. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 12 hours ago, whiskychimp said: "He's hit that too well" WTF. I hate football commentators. 4 minutes ago, peasy23 said: One of my other pet commentary hates is "he's just about kept it out." He either did or he didn't ya fkn clownboot. Add to this (although not football related), the phrase 'near miss' 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greenlantern Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 Takeaway delivery drivers. Absolute fukn' scumbags!Got one reptile who deliberately fuks about looking for the correct change, in the hope I'll just let him piss off with a tip, every fukn' time. It's got to the point now where it's a pure battle of wits, between me and this clown. Not only are they a clan of smelly arseholes, they put me off my food. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irvine_buddie Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 1 hour ago, throbber said: It makes sense when the ball is fizzed across goal a lot of the time though and a player just needs to get a bit of contact on it to put it goalwards. Sometimes they catch it too well and hit it straight at the keeper where as if they made less contact it would have gone in either corner. If the optimum amount of contact would put it in the corner and they've got too much on it and it's went straight at the keeper... then they haven't hit it well at all they've made an arse of it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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