zidane's child Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 Travelling on Glasgow buses. Filthy (due to the utter tossers who travel on them, it has to be said) with bloody Metros three deep under yer feet; there's always a can or bottle rolling about the floor; crisp pokes and chip wrappers everywhere; the stink from some b*****d's shite-smelling carry out; having to listen to at least one person's music; old people (who may or may not be racists) changing seats throughout the journey; fat folk taking up two seats; people who put their bags ion the seats and you have to ask them to move them; people who put their feet up on the seats; emergency stops; the speed of the bus is inversely proportional to the amount of hurry that you're in; and since racism is in the news today and I might get away with this, there's always an Asian guy barking into his mobile. Fantastic analysis 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 Go home. Racist! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranaldo Bairn Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 The second Stone Roses album was the ultimate shiter for this. I think there were about 99 blank tracks of a few seconds each, followed by a "hilarious" pissing-about-on-a-piano number. STFU AND GTFO. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 The second Stone Roses album was the ultimate shiter for this. I think there were about 99 blank tracks of a few seconds each, followed by a "hilarious" pissing-about-on-a-piano number. STFU AND GTFO. The utter rage that induced in me the first time I stuck that CD on in the car, forgetting about all the extra tracks was a thing of horrific beauty. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 (edited) Vinyl was much better for the hidden track stuff. See the double grooves on Monty Python's Matching Tie & Handkerchief, or Mr Bungle's Disco Volante. (both cracking albums BTW) Edit: as I recall, early CD players were only built to read somewhere in the region of 30 tracks. When Napalm Death released their first two albums on one CD, it had 54 tracks and would apparently break certain models of player Edited February 19, 2015 by BigFatTabbyDave 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 That wee button on the flush on push-button toilets. You know, the one that you accidentally hit that stops the toilet from flushing properly. WTF is that all about? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 That wee button on the flush on push-button toilets. You know, the one that you accidentally hit that stops the toilet from flushing properly. WTF is that all about? It's to save water when you don't need the Niagra Falls to get your jobby around the U-bend. So for a piss or the bottom end of the jobby chart below, use the small knob, for the rest use the big one. Easy to remember really, big jobby=big knob. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 It's to save water when you don't need the Niagra Falls to get your jobby around the U-bend. So for a piss or the bottom end of the jobby chart below, use the small knob, for the rest use the big one. Easy to remember really, big jobby=big knob. Really? Ours must be broken - it saves water by doing hee-haw. Also, that delicious cake; I've never been so confused 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 big jobby=big knob. I'm saving that excuse for the next time I block the toilet 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 When using the printer at work as the same time as someone else, they come and look at what you've printed incase its theirs, then put it back the wrong way. Hanging offence. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 When using the printer at work as the same time as someone else, they come and look at what you've printed incase its theirs, then put it back the wrong way. Hanging offence. Even worse; people who print multiple documents, then go to the printer and pick up the whole stack and take it back to their desk, before throwing anything that isn't theirs in the bin. Usually the boss' pet, naturally. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P45 Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 Even worse; people who print multiple documents, then go to the printer and pick up the whole stack and take it back to their desk, before throwing anything that isn't theirs in the bin. Usually the boss' pet, naturally. People who print out shite and don't go and get it. Usually the fat c**t. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 People who print out shite and don't go and get it. Usually the fat c**t. You never give me the chance, Sharon! Anyway, off your knees, hunni. The boss has finished up for the day. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 When people use the phrase "Opinions are like arseholes; everyone's got one!" It's such a shite thing to say. It demonstrates an utter lack of imagination. It shows that this person has nothing of value to add to the conversation. It's as if they can't think of a logical argument, or indeed any argument, so they throw this terrible cliche out unthinkingly. I suppose the very first time, literally the very first time, it could seem mildly amusing, but after that it's a clear calling card of a moron. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 When anyone from the British isles says 'asshole' as opposed to 'arsehole'. When it's typed it's even worse. It sounds like an American kid saying his first swear word. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young Joseph Stalin Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 Went to some smoothie place in the St Enoch Centre today where you could chose the 'sweetness' of your smoothie. 50% was a third of the cup, 100% was two thirds and 150% was the full cup. I was seething, makes me angry thinking about it 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 (edited) "hidden tracks" on the end of albums. This was a novelty in the early 90s when CD's were still new and the technology was being explored. It is no longer a novelty. Just put all the tracks on the album as normal and stop wasting my time. Also, skits on albums. How did you get through all the months of recording, mixing, mastering and preparation before releasing the record and still think these were funny? Hip hop is particularly bad for this. Give it a rest. Back when CDs were a thing, I learned early on to avoid anything with the phrase "Bonus Tracks". Invariably this meant "Crap, we have an extra 30 minutes to fill. How about we drop in a bunch of outtakes and banter between the musicians?" You ended up having to burn a copy with the tracks you wanted just so you could listen to the album without having to constantly skip through all the filler. Edited February 19, 2015 by Shotgun 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 When people use the phrase "Opinions are like arseholes; everyone's got one!" It's such a shite thing to say. It demonstrates an utter lack of imagination. It shows that this person has nothing of value to add to the conversation. It's as if they can't think of a logical argument, or indeed any argument, so they throw this terrible cliche out unthinkingly. I suppose the very first time, literally the very first time, it could seem mildly amusing, but after that it's a clear calling card of a moron. I swear you posted the exact same thing a few days ago Either that, or someone else did, which would be wonderfully ironic 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1320Lichtie Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 English media/pundits and their snobbery over the EPL. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 I swear you posted the exact same thing a few days ago Either that, or someone else did, which would be wonderfully ironic I posted similar about the phrase 'No shit Sherlock'. Ugh. I'm getting slightly irritated thinking about it. And the other one. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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