Audaces Fortuna Juvat Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Marry a hairdresser. I've saved approximately £1500 in the last 12 years and get the haircut I ask for everytime. Do you still give her a tip though? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweeperDee Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Do you still give her a tip though? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eednud Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 2am kick offs As bad as 1.30am kick-offs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Wean's birthday party today. I absolutely reek of balloons 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Every time I come staggering home at night, some cnut's shadow keeps obscuring my front door keyhole. Would be much easier if whoever it is just fcuked off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 When folk don't pronounce the second 'T' in 'restaurant' 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 When folk pronounce 'novel' as 'nuvel' 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Can you not just join it back together with pliers and tape? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 WTF were you doing to slice through it?Murdering his wife. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Burying your wife? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WFAANW Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Murdering his wife. Nah the cables fucked. I was digging a hole on the path up the side of the house to put a new fence post in. It's the daft c***s fault anyway as they laid the bloody cable under about 30mm of soil with no warning tape. Arseholes. hmm 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I've just sliced through my Virgin Media cable outside the house. Can't get my telly or internet working. If I blatantly lie to VM, I assume they'll come and fix it for nowt? I did this last year when I was getting rid of my hedge. Until I did that I was getting the full package in my bedroom while only paying for the basic. The word seething does not do justice to the rage I felt towards myself. Having re-read this post, I have no idea how else to word it without it sounding like one big euphemism. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ya Bezzer! Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I've just sliced through my Virgin Media cable outside the house. Can't get my telly or internet working. If I blatantly lie to VM, I assume they'll come and fix it for nowt? A spear of blue ice fell from a passing aircraft severing the cable and then melted leaving no evidence. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerrdavidson95 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I'm a massive fan of BeeInspired the clothing brand, setup by Steve Robb and Mark Corcoran, but it's Bradley Coyne (ex Clyde) who models most of their clothes and his stock "blank footballer" expression is really putting me off buying anything else from them. Their clothes are really good quality, though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doulikefish Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Flight delayed 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerrdavidson95 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Exclusively made for iced gem haircut sporting wanks. Fortunately I am neither. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I've just sliced through my Virgin Media cable outside the house. Can't get my telly or internet working. If I blatantly lie to VM, I assume they'll come and fix it for nowt? Reported to Branson for fraud. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Murdering his wife. She's dead? I thought she was just in one of her moods. She wasn't very energetic, that's for sure. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nelsjfc Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 In family fortunes in the final round tonight the first person gave an answer that 27 people said, then the second answer was said by 49. Vernon Kay then said "Lets see if that was a top answer..." Course it is you long-haired dickwad, we can fucking add. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 In family fortunes in the final round tonight the first person gave an answer that 27 people said, then the second answer was said by 49. Vernon Kay then said "Lets see if that was a top answer..." Course it is you long-haired dickwad, we can fucking add. There's football on. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.