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Madeleine Mccann Missing Girl


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Hullo there ya bunch ae fandans. It's Auntie Phil here again ready to sort oot the truth fae all the shite. Sorry fur no bein roond fur a while but i hud tae get rid of ma internet when those basturts at Greggs put up the price of steak bakes by two whole pee. That's been costin me an extra fucking 40 quid a month. So ah had tae economise. Credit crunchie an aw that.

First hings firsts. Aboot them polis files fae portugal. Whit a load of shite. So they thought oor Maddie had been taken to Holland but did hee-haw aboot it!? I knew that bunch of orange basturts would have had sumhing to dae with it. And sniffer dugs could smell the scent of death - aye, well that bitch Kate might have a fishy fanny but it disnae make her a mackerel. She wiz never guid enough fur oor Gerry. Stupit basturtin dugs.

Oor Gerry's been daein his nut ower the past few months. He's had to put up wi a load of shite about 'abusing' oor Maddie's fund. But as he wiz telling me when i visited him on his new gold-plated yacht (wi child-proof barriers - he'll no be making that mistake again....actshully, ignore that) he's got tae live an it costs a shite-load of money tae go roond the world again and again.

But enough shite fae me. Ah'm back tae answer ony question ye may have aboot the polis file, oor Maddy or any other shite.

Who is this? This is a fucking fantastic alias and should be kept on a full-time basis. :lol:

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Hullo there ya bunch ae fandans. It's Auntie Phil here again ready to sort oot the truth fae all the shite. Sorry fur no bein roond fur a while but i hud tae get rid of ma internet when those basturts at Greggs put up the price of steak bakes by two whole pee. That's been costin me an extra fucking 40 quid a month. So ah had tae economise. Credit crunchie an aw that.

First hings firsts. Aboot them polis files fae portugal. Whit a load of shite. So they thought oor Maddie had been taken to Holland but did hee-haw aboot it!? I knew that bunch of orange basturts would have had sumhing to dae with it. And sniffer dugs could smell the scent of death - aye, well that bitch Kate might have a fishy fanny but it disnae make her a mackerel. She wiz never guid enough fur oor Gerry. Stupit basturtin dugs.

Oor Gerry's been daein his nut ower the past few months. He's had to put up wi a load of shite about 'abusing' oor Maddie's fund. But as he wiz telling me when i visited him on his new gold-plated yacht (wi child-proof barriers - he'll no be making that mistake again....actshully, ignore that) he's got tae live an it costs a shite-load of money tae go roond the world again and again.

But enough shite fae me. Ah'm back tae answer ony question ye may have aboot the polis file, oor Maddy or any other shite.

I have a question Auntie Phil.

Is there any chance I could get some cash from the 'fighting fund' so that I can organise a trip to the Dam. I would be acting on specific information so it wouldn't be a reckless waste of the cash that all those idiots gave to Gerry. The last time I was there I was stumbling about the red light district and I heard at least one person shout "check the state ah that maddie".

It's been a while since I was there so it's probably a long shot but I'm sure you'll agree that that's no reason not to have a wee holiday.

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There's another one, too.

SNN0606PHB-280_547677a.jpg

And of course, this old favourite.

SNN0606-384_547654a.jpg

Do you think, just before that one went to be published, the abductor snuck in and smudged the face, before laughing hysterically and fleeing just before the elderly security guard found the door unlocked?

Did I read right today that the reason police didn't release these e-fits and instead released that photo above, and a photo of a head with hair but no face is because they were scared of breaking some sort of Portugese law about privacy or secrecy, or that it might eventually harm the case? I can't remember the full details but it was in one of todays papers and seemed pretty stupid.

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Did I read right today that the reason police didn't release these e-fits and instead released that photo above, and a photo of a head with hair but no face is because they were scared of breaking some sort of Portugese law about privacy or secrecy, or that it might eventually harm the case? I can't remember the full details but it was in one of todays papers and seemed pretty stupid.

Due to the nature of this case, any individual looking like that would be harassed in the street, with "PAEDIATRICIAN" daubed on the walls of their abode, I suppose.

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Surely that's Stephen Malkmus, former frontman of American darlings of the music press Pavement?

To err on the side of caution, I've burned everything I own of theres on a pyre.

It's clearly Johnny Lee Miller of Trainspotting and formerly married to Angelina Jolie fame.

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Guest The Ghost of Ron Burgundy

Dear Auntie Philomena,

please please please could you fix it for me to meet George Michael.

yours fixingly

Ron Burgundy - 5 and a half (deceased)

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Nae fear cos Auntie Phil's here!

Or ah wull be. Later oan the night. Greggs are sellin 2 macaroni pies fur the price ae 1 an i'm gonna fill ma boots!

Quick point aboot that Jan Dildo burd. Ah'm just sayin that bitch Kate has a right mean streak. Nuthing mare.

Ye cannae pin onyhing on that poor basturt Barry. Bullet residue....whit the f**k is that aw aboot? Oh aye, like ye can take a wee speck ae dust an say it came fae a gun. Ah've never heard such bollocks since someone telt me about dugs smelling death. I'll tell ye somethin - whit are bullets made fae? Metal. Right. Ye still wi me here? Whit else is made fae metal.... that's right... bridges. So that puir basturt takes a wee walk across the Kingston Bridge takes a keek ower the side (maybe for future reference ye ken... dead easy to chuck somehing ower the side i suppose if it's no too big) gets some 'metal' oan him.

Next hing ye ken he's banged up for aboot 20 years. A load of shite.

See yese the night.

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  • 11 months later...

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