The Real Saints Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 As some of you may be aware, I have been away for the past three days. For my summer holidays, I went to the Strathclyde Hilton. I advise you to never even think of Strathclyde as a possible holiday destination, as it may well be the worst thing that you've ever experienced in your life. My mum, dad and I began our journey by going to IKEA in Paisley. Yes, IKEA! In Paisley! I don't know what they were thinking. Anyway, I spent an hour and a half there trolling around, while my parents searched for a cupboard they wanted. They finally found it, so it was time to go to the checkout. I was almost ecstatic that we were set to leave for the Strathclyde Hilton at last, and thought that things couldn't get possibly worse. I was wrong. While in the queue at the checkout, a little boy in front of me shat his pants. Yes, he literally shat his pants. Everyone nearby basically ran for cover, with their hands over their noses. The place absolutely reeked, and I was very, very close to spewing my load. Meanwhile, I had unbearable hunger pangs. I hadn't had lunch, so was hoping to get a hot dog at IKEA, but that rank little boy put me off eating anything. I couldn't get out of that place soon enough, and was looking forward to getting to the Strathclyde Hilton for a nice, relaxing swim. However, we had to find our car first, in the massive IKEA car park. We spent about half an hour looking for our car before we eventually found it. We then travelled to the Hilton, getting lost on the way of course, with my mum and dad shouting at each other all the way there. It was a nightmare. We finally got there though, with hopes that our holiday would finally take a turn for the good. Hopes turned to despair when we were told that the pool was out of bounds for the day, because of 'a few little accidents'. Yes, someone had taken a dump in the pool. I suppose there were a few good points to the holiday. M&D's was decent enough. The food wasn't however. We went to the nearest Brewer's Fayre for tea, and I asked for a burger, which arrived 35 minutes later. It was completely solid. I was very unimpressed, but ate it anyway because I was hungry. I then felt ill for the rest of the night. So, as much as a holiday to Strathclyde may seem tempting to you, don't go there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintSam Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 Why would anyone go to Strathclyde for a holiday? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 You should have had alarm bells ringing when your mum and dad said "we're thinking of going on holiday to Strathclyde". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudge Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 I feel sorry for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiG Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 Why would anyone go to Strathclyde for a holiday? Why would anyone want to go to Paisley? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnstoun Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 Its currently 'B+' material, but if you retitle it 'Summer 2007, My Experiences of Watching Jakey Bairns Shite Their Breeks' an 'A' is going to be all yours come the start of term. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintSam Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 "Lets go on holiday, to IKEA" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubs Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 Thats a shame like. Do they beat you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuctifano Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 I think your parents have passed on their native intelligence to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wug Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 Really, what were you expecting? Although it could have been worse, you could have come to Inverclyde. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 I've actually no idea if this is true or some kind of huge whoosh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 Further to that blindingly obvious question, why wouldn't anyone be aware that IKEA, Hilton Hotels and Brewers Fayres are not Strathclydes gift to the world? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest johnjag Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 Why would anyone want to go to Paisley? It's handy for IKEA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryan Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 It's handy for IKEA. Glasgow is handier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Saints Posted July 11, 2007 Author Share Posted July 11, 2007 There was nowhere else to go! We were hoping to go to Greece, but couldn't find any good deals! My mum said we were going to Strathclyde, and it would be a laugh. It definitely wasn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Saints Posted July 11, 2007 Author Share Posted July 11, 2007 I think your parents have passed on their native intelligence to you. How? I'm lost.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 There was nowhere else to go! We were hoping to go to Greece, but couldn't find any good deals! My mum said we were going to Strathclyde, and it would be a laugh. It definitely wasn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Freud Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 NOt a bad windup, but really, what gave it away was your mum saying it would be a laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryan Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 Really, what were you expecting? Although it could have been worse, you could have come to Inverclyde. our new tesco extra is great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryan Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 There was nowhere else to go! We were hoping to go to Greece, but couldn't find any good deals! My mum said we were going to Strathclyde, and it would be a laugh. It definitely wasn't. i can think many great things to do in the glasgow area, going to IKEA and a Brewers Fayre aint any of them... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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