5 True Statements About Yourself...

[lzreid]

I used to feel the same on my 45 min train from uni. Sometimes I used to walk slowly round the corner at Newcastle station just incase I saw my mates girlfriend. I got stuck with her quite a bit and it was a total nightmare as she never shut the f**k up. Thickest person going.

Once when she asked me what I did at uni I told her Politics. Her reply was, "Eh, I don't even know what a politic is!!" That was the type of conversation that used to drag me from my ipod.

I can relate to this loosely. I too did politics. Now every arsehole on the planet thinks I want to hear their opinion on immigration/Gordon Brown/Political Correctnes etc. Pish.

[Ever the Optimist]

1) I'm doing a PhD. Half the reason is so that after I graduate, the next time someone calls me 'Mr', I can say, 'Excuse me it's Dr.' - just once though cos it's pretty obnoxious.

My sister uses it all the time. Has Dr on every official document.

You would be amazed what it can get you.

1. I am shite at parking

2. I once won second prize in a national newspaper competition. Some fecker got £5k, I got a fecking football shirt!!

3. I am related in some way to Crawford Baptie.

4. I have four creases on my right pinkie. I would have been burned at the stake for that 500 years ago.

5. I have had sex in the Indian Ocean

[Ever the Optimist]

Just gimmi a shout if u need a hand......

Just a hand?

[Guest dougalldogg]

1/ I don't trust muslims and honestly believe that if they hate Britain so much then they should just go and live somewhere else. (I realise that they don't all feel like this but I don't know who does and who doesn't so treat them all with suspicion) The situation in Israel/Palestine just now does not concern me in the slightest and if Israel bomb the f**k out of Palestine from now until I am 100 I won't care.

2/ I spend far too much money on designer clothes and shoes.

3/ I can't swim and really don't have any urge to learn. I could have went for lessons when I was younger but was happier playing football with my mates. Even when I went with the school, I didn't pay attention and didn't really care about learning. Foolishly I don't think about the danger when I am waist high in a river fishing. One slip and I could be in serious trouble!

4/ I punched a Stoke fan on saturday at Stamford Bridge. he jumped into the Chelsea end after Lampard's goal and tried to punch my mate. My mate gave him a whack and he stumbled towards me and had a swing at me too. I just whacked him too and laughed as the 2 sixteen year olds in front of us both had digs at him too. the Stoke guy was hauled out by the steward (who looked like Ricky Gervais) and we just nipped out of the ground and away to the pub. To tell the truth, it was a bit of a buzz!

5/ I love sick jokes, the sicker the better.

Share your first statement and DEFINATELY share your 5th, some of the looks I get when I tell some of the sick jokes I find funny are cringe worthy lol. On the same note I always have a cheeky peek when you post a new joke in the sick joke thread

[Ric]

1. People at work maybe think i'm quite proper and a good girl. In reality, I swear far too much, and my moral threshold is extremely high. It takes alot to shock me.

2. Drank alot when i was younger, but not really alot since I was about 18/19. Recently got pished, and it has given me a taste for it again.

3. Never really had a high sex drive, but the past 4 months or so, it has been insanely high.

If all those are true, then I have a solution for #5

5. I still live with my parents, but im desperate to move out. Due to no4 cant really afford a place though.

[Guest dougalldogg]

Just a hand?

Figure of speach

[Silvio]

I would like to add one more:

I could not care less about Barack Obama. Whilst I agree that the first black president is a big thing, as far as I know he is not God and all the worlds troubles will not fix themselves just because he's in office. Let's be honest here, we all know that there will be a scandal at some point which will show him to be exactly what he is - a politician!!

[Guest dougalldogg]

I would like to add one more:

I could not care less about Barack Obama. Whilst I agree that the first black president is a big thing, as far as I know he is not God and all the worlds troubles will not fix themselves just because he's in office. Let's be honest here, we all know that there will be a scandal at some point which will show him to be exactly what he is - a politician!!

This shows how bad my mind is, when I read ur post and the last line says "what he is - a" I have no idea why I thought this but I honestly expected to look onto the next line for you to have wrote "slave"..... im going to hell

[pollymac]

2. I'm an Engineering student in first year, and I hate maths. Unfortuantly, this is quite a crucial part of Engineering and I've seriously have lost count of how many times I've thought of quitting and doing something else.

You need to brush up on your maths (arithmetic) then. :

Mine:

1. I read a lot of classical literature and have works by Euripides, Thucydides, Plato, Homer and Arrian amongst others in my library. Thucydides account of the Pelopponesian war was heavy going, the author appeared more interested in the numbers and displacement of troops than anything else. I tend to read a lot of heroic fantasy novels as well (David Gemmell, David Eddings, Raymond Feist, Janny Wurts, Tolkien etc). And my wife often thinks that I wish I lived in ancient Greece or in Middle Earth.

2. My favourite holidays have always been in Scotland. These include staying with relatives over the summer in St Cyrus, little more than 15 miles away from my home (at the time) in Brechin and biking to Pitlochry with a stopover in Blairgowrie (from Arbroath).

3. I pissed a good chunk of my adult life away working in factories before deciding to bite the bullet and go back to college/uni. I have now completed a period post-graduate study and received an 'A' for my research on spatial databases for my pre-Masters dissertation. I did not do my MSc.

4. Like Monster has stated previously about himself, I honestly believe I'd be dead by now had I not met my wife. I'd be drinking/out for 6 nights per week, including all-day sessions twice a week on Fridays and Sundays. I tend not to drink at all these days, something that has crept in over the last couple of years.

5. I love cartoons. Scooby Doo, The Simpsons, Futurama, Family Guy, Spongebob Squarepants etc, are all amongst my favourite tv 'shows'.

Actually, they're all pretty boring, so...

1. Me, my brother and some mates torched a load of gypos tents in the woods on the south-side of Brechin when I was about 12. On the way down the road, as we were crossing the Brechin Bridge, one of the minks was coming the other way, worse from wear (having spent his giro in the Brigend Bar no doubt) and asked if any of us had a light. My brother lives in the US now, and every time we meet up we discuss this happening as it still feels utterly unreal.

2. Me, my brother and some friends, during Thatchers 80s, decided to quit this 'blessed' realm of ours to seek pastures new. We stole and obtained (legally or otherwise) diesel, paraffin, and many other essential requirements like bedding etc, readying ourselves for the final day when we buggered off. We biked to, then broke into (and started) boats at Montrose harbour, which would be our means of transportation. We had stocks of food, the lot - very well organised were we. I was still in primary school. Primary 5 IIRC.

3. I've only once stuck the boot in when someone was on the ground that I was fighting. I broke 3 of the guys ribs. I was 9 at the time and had social workers on my case for the next two or three years.

4. I used to be fekking great at Pool, and pretty decent at Snooker. I can't play darts and have never ever played (even a single hand) poker.

5. I love cartoons.

[StewartyMac]

4. Like Monster has stated previously about himself, I honestly believe I'd be dead by now had I not met my wife. I'd be drinking/out for 6 nights per week, including all-day sessions twice a week on Fridays and Sundays. I tend not to drink at all these days, something that has crept in over the last couple of years.

I can relate to this too.

[Ebanda's Handyman Services]

I can relate to this too.

Me too. Not sure if I'd be dead but I'd be a complete waste of space the way I was going.

[xbl]

My dancing is more reminiscent of his son

We need a p&b Stirling Uni night out!

[th1stleandr0se]

1. Me, my brother and some mates torched a load of gypos tents in the woods on the south-side of Brechin when I was about 12. On the way down the road, as we were crossing the Brechin Bridge, one of the minks was coming the other way, worse from wear (having spent his giro in the Brigend Bar no doubt) and asked if any of us had a light. My brother lives in the US now, and every time we meet up we discuss this happening as it still feels utterly unreal.

2. Me, my brother and some friends, during Thatchers 80s, decided to quit this 'blessed' realm of ours to seek pastures new. We stole and obtained (legally or otherwise) diesel, paraffin, and many other essential requirements like bedding etc, readying ourselves for the final day when we buggered off. We biked to, then broke into (and started) boats at Montrose harbour, which would be our means of transportation. We had stocks of food, the lot - very well organised were we. I was still in primary school. Primary 5 IIRC.

3. I've only once stuck the boot in when someone was on the ground that I was fighting. I broke 3 of the guys ribs. I was 9 at the time and had social workers on my case for the next two or three years.

4. I used to be fekking great at Pool, and pretty decent at Snooker. I can't play darts and have never ever played (even a single hand) poker.

5. I love cartoons.

Any psychological profilers around?

I'm glad you've grown up now. Having said that, Homer, spacial databases and Spongebob sit uncomfortably together.

[Kejan]

1. I Used to be shitscared of double decker buses, would geniunely be very scared if near the back of a queue for a bus and sometimes counted the people in front of me and predicted where they would sit and if I would get a seat on the bottom.

I turned 15 and probably my balls dropped, the fear then vanished.

2. Find it much easier to talk to foreign girls than 'domestic' ones, I don't know if it's the cultural differences and having such a wide variety of subjects to talk about, I see them in a more exotic light or just crap at talking to women from home.

3. Can't stand nightclubs, too expensive, usually shite music and get bored really easy in them.

4. Pal's parents were on holiday in Germany and a band were playing Glasgow that we both wanted to see(we only realised they were playing that night at 5pm) living 100 odd miles away we exhausted all our avenues of reaching the gig.

So, we took his parents car and drove to Glasgow. With him only have a provisional, he must have stalled it aleast 20 times on the whole journey, 4 times in a row outside the 13th Note Cafe traffic lights.

Still amazed we didn't get caught, two 17 year olds in a family car, stalling, and stickers at the back of the car for Blair Drummond Safari Park, Scottish Claymores and Landmark.

5. Never smoked

[SuperCaleyGoBallistic]

im a rebel so i'll go for 10:

1) when i was younger i was obsessed with maps + countries. if someone gave me a blank world map i could probably place every single country in the world in the right place, and name most of their capital cities. When someone in school says they dont know where Russia is or they dont know the capital of Gremany then i usually end up saying something like 'how the f**k do you not know that?'

2) when i just started primary school i was exceptionally bright, especially at maths. however, as my teachers often mentioned, i had a tendency to 'coast' and not try very hard in lessons so subsequently im no longer a boy genius. im still intelligent though, and im looking at getting A and B's in my GCSE subjects. I already have an A in English Language, having done it a year early.

3) I have lived in Inverness, Perth, Brighton, The Falkland Islands + Im currently in Wiltshire. I've been to 7 schools in 10 years and have lived in over 10 houses in nearly 16 years of existence

4) I hate going to a new school. I say nothing to anybody for the 1st week until i figure out whos who.

5) Despite this, I have always been a popular kid + am friends with all kinds of people. in fact, a surprising amount of my friends are complete wasters.

6) I procrastinate more than anyone in the whole world. Whether it be handing in coursework or asking out a girl i like, i just always leave things till the last minute.

7) I'm 15 + ive never been drunk, smoked or taken drugs. I just dont see the point. I never have to lie about it to my friends

I lie to everyone, including myself

9) I like to think Im good at judging characters, but my first impressions are often wrong

10) I fancy myself as a future stand up comedian. I make my friends laugh alot + I can think of great comebacks on the spot.

[Sir Kevin Of Kilsyth]

11. I always fight in nightclubs. Some times I start it,sometimes I don't but trouble always seems to follow.

12. I lost my phone at Strathy Union last night during a brawl.

13. I am really clever despite being the sort to act realy daft. My Highers and first batch of Uni Law exams were all good.

14. I am quality at Guitar Hero

15. My friends think I have an unhealthy fascination with Jon Bon Jovi

We need a p&b Stirling Uni night out!

Maybe not invite me lol.

[th1stleandr0se]

7) I'm 15 + ive never been drunk, smoked or taken drugs. I just dont see the point. I never have to lie about it to my friends

I lie to everyone, including myself

I'm having difficulty reconciling these two.

[Guest dougalldogg]

I'm having difficulty reconciling these two.

yeah i read those to and sat baffled for a few seconds before moving on wondering whether he was being smart and lying about one of his points or just being a bit of an imbocile...

[GypsyTillIDie]

1. I watch Grey's Anatomy religiously. I'm the only male person I know who likes it.

2. I'm pretty sectarian, but I try and keep it secret from people I know.

3. Although I support Clyde, I've never been in the town of Cumbernauld and have no plans to.

4. My hair's extraorindarily thick and curly. It takes me forever to dry it but I think I look pretty cool with it.

5. I talk like a complete ned. I get quite embarassed when I speak to people I don't know due to my accent as I think it gives the impression that I'm an idiot.

Think I'll add five more:

6. Same with the Caley fan a couple of posts above me, I'm 15 and never smoked, been drunk or taken illegal drugs. Plenty of my friends have done all three of these things, but it's never appealed to me to do it.

7. If I continued to play football between the ages of 11-14, I'm pretty sure I'd be playing Pro-Youth and nearing to play professional football right now. I'm not saying this because I'm up my arse, the complete opposite in fact, it's because right now I'm playing football in school (and outside) most days and I'm just as good as the people who have been playing for teams for the past 8 years. It's easily the biggest regret of my life, and I kinda blame my parents. My dad knew I had the talent, but they never really pushed me or encouraged me to play football. Then again, they say I never showed enough 'appetite' when I was 10ish which is probably true. And I'm too old to join teams as they all want 'previous pro-youth experience' which is shite. I'm really looking forward to do what my dad did and play amateur football and, hopefully, have a crack at Junior football.

8. I first properly kissed a girl at the embarrassing age of 14.

9. I'd say my best friend was my sister. Even though she can act like a right idiot sometimes, we get each other's humour perfectly and we can argue for hours then have a joke minutes later. We're really close and I hope we still stay this close when we're older. Right now, as she's working all the time and at Uni, our only form of communication is via texts. It's pretty frustrating.

10. I generally find school too easy as I rarely get tested. This results in me getting bored really easily and start mucking about which means I get into trouble wa-ay too much. I can't until I'm in Fifth year.

[Casper Rose]

1. I started clubbing regularly at the age of 15

2. I pissed away my 5th and 6th year at school due to skipping most of my classes to gamble then staying up late at night, either playing FM or going out to clubs with mates.

3. If I had not broke my wrist when I was younger (was out for around 18 months with the injury and had 3 operations on it) I would probably be going professional just now for the football (I am a goalie btw)

4. I work in the HBOS in Argyle Street and it is fucking gash

5. I have been offered a scholarship in America, which I am going to start raising the capital for.