Vanquinho.
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Posts posted by Vanquinho.
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I am quite surprised at how successful this thread has been. As I said in the first post I just wanted an excuse for a rant!!
Some of the stories on here are brilliant though. Particularly the ones on the other side of the law...
You should feel proud
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Can totally relate to that one. Bus time is my time.i can also relate, no offense to the folk but listening to my music for me has been far more entertaining than 'catching up' with them.
I agree totally...
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Good shout, it makes good reading, I always have a cheeky look to see if anyone has posted anything new on this 1
Same, I feel a slight addiction to this thread. So much so that I've posted nearly 20 "statements", no doubt I'll put more up soon
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This thread should be on the main General Nonsense board for more exposure, it's epic
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Some of these comments are brilliant and have inspired me once again to add more.
1 - I am a very skillful driver and I would like to be able to drive at 120mph whenever I want without fear of being caught by the polis because I know I won't crash through any fault of my own.
2 - After a CIS Cup game at Hampden, Queen's Park v Hibs, I got totally blootered, went into the Tesco at Corstorphine and put 2 big bottles of vodka in my pockets and walked around the shop eating out of a huge bag of Hula Hoops. The security staff chased me around the shop for 20 minutes while the polis were on their way. They eventually rugby tackled me and I'm led to believe I was fighting with one of the polis dudes. This was all witnessed by my mate who prompting denied he knew who I was to escape questioning. I remember none of this.
Amazingly the Procurator Fiscal let me away with theft, being drunk & disorderly, resisting arrest and assaulting a police officer. This would not have been my first offence which is even more amazing. I still have the letter confirming this somewhere, I think I'll have a look for it...
3 - For some weird reason, when I'm on my own and watching or doing something really funny, I barely laugh even though I know it's hilarious. But if I'm with at least one person I would be laughing my c**t off at it
4 - I generally hate people, I can't be arsed talking to people I don't know and most of the time when I'm with people I know I would rather they spark up conversation because I just couldn't give f*ck about letting other people hear what I have to say. If I do find myself in a position where I'm in the company of other people I can come across as quite a bubbly person because I can react brilliantly as long as other people make the effort to create good conversation. Basically, I would burn in a group of people similar to me.
5 - I am a very very very forgiving person. If somebody done soemthing to piss me off I would probably say it's cool and get on with it.
f**k it I'll add more.
6 - I never want to live in any city other than Edinburgh and will do almost anything to ensure I never have to move away for long.
7 - I swear all the time. I also use the word "fucking" when I'm trying to remember something. "Aye, I'll have a 70cl of Jack Daniel's and 4 bottles of that ehhhhh...... fucking....... Miller, cheers."
8 - When I done my first practical driving test, I made a perfectly safe and legal lane-change to get into the correct position for the upcoming busy roundabout. The examiner grabbed the wheel and hauled me back into the initial lane, which means I've failed. I calmly stayed quiet until we reached the traffic lights at the roundabout, put the handbrake on and waited for him to explain his actions. He came up with some complete twaddle about not checking the blind-spot quick enough (which I did), so after holding up the traffic for a while I went straight back to the test centre, called him a w****r and gave him the finger.
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I have met, shook hands with, and a had a picture taken with Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Lucky b*****d...
I took a pish next to Carlito while Stone Cold was dropping a log in a cubicle behind me.The reason i knew it was him was because the sounds coming out of the cubicle went along the lines of...
*plop*
WHAT?
*plop*
WHAT?
*plop*
WHAT?
:lol: :lol: :lol: 0 -
I fucking love football, even though I started uni in Aberdeen this year i still haven't missed a game. This means I am spending money that really should be spent on something useful but I can't stand to miss a game. This means I will have to work my arse off in the summer to compensate.
My older sisters fucking Biology teacher had it on with someone in her year and was after her aswell I am led to believe. If I hadn't left school I honestly think I could have killed him. I've never told anyone that is the reason I left school after fifth year.
I made really fucking good friends with a girl in the first week of uni and ended up having unprotected sex with her. As a result we can't look each other in the eye anymore because it was such a stupid thing to. I really liked her aswell.
I fucking love music and playing the guitar. I have written a few acoustic tunes which I think are genuinely good.
I have an unbelievabley huge fucking crush on a girl at uni but ridiculously haven't found the courage to pluck up and speak to her. what a gay!
edited to add football as in Saints games!
Fixed that for you my friend
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2) If I get the poker hand 7, 2 suited I will go all in pre flop
It's the right thing to do!
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I feel I should add some more.
1 - I have been run over twice, the last time was only about 3 months ago. Big b*****ding scar on my left knee, it's cool. I maybe shouldn't have jumped in front of the car like a complete c**t.
2 - I have ligament damage to both my ankles and a bad lower back, but I continue to play football constantly.
3 - I try to take shortcuts in everything I do and will skive work whenever the opportunitiy arises.
4 - I am a total introvert and I'm most comfotable on my own, but when I'm out with my mates playing football or whatever I become a complete extrovert.
5 - I am a very very very bad loser.
5. During my Higher Human Biology exam in 6th year I wrote "I can't do this, bye bye" in the space for question 1 then walked out. It was the 2nd year in a row that I flunked that exam
Quality mate 0 -
How awkward would it be if StewartyMac said no.
I know, I tried to catch my finger as I clicked "Add Reply"
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1 - I care about Hibs more than world peace and the threat of nuclear war
2 - I love skull caps
3 - I threw my mate's mum down a flight of stairs the other day
4 - I passed my driving test in July 2005 and have never owned a car
5 - When I drink, I drink to get pished, I never drink to "enjoy" it.
1 - I have never been on a bicycle. Ever.WTF!? Do you have 2 (or more) functioning legs?
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The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift
8/10
I liked this film quite a bit, might be because I'm right into cars. Maybe not.
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I've been thinking about replacing my lost iPod and also to get back into shape, so I'll sign up for this when I've got everything sorted out
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James - Who Are You
Tiesto - Sweet Things
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Tiesto - He's A Pirate
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Ghostbusters 2
I love the scene with the Statue of Liberty heading towards the city, but other than that, this movie sucks riciculous amounts of balls.
1/10
F*ck you! F*ck you with a spoon!
Last one I watched was Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End.
Excellent film, very funny in places aswell.
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Eminem - Superman
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Lads, surely the most irritating thing ever WAS the time (and the ONLY time) you sprayed aftershave on your ballsack
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We did, we filled his good shoes up with water and put them in the freezer overnight
GENIUS! I'm trying that......... not with my own shoes of course.......my wee bro's B)
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Are you just jealous that they know the answer and you don't?
They could at least give me a chance to think about it
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This is because they're not allowed just to offer a prize ie phone up and you get put in a draw, so they've got to introduce the element of competition. However, asking an actually 'hard' question would mean that they'd need to pay someone to sort out the right answers from the wrong which onvolves time and money. This way, technically they're not breaching the rules, no-one is likely to get it wrong and they can announce a winner quickly.
Sorry I think you miss my point. It's not the actual competition itself, I know it makes sense to give an easy question and answer.
The thing that gets to me is the people watching the TV that like to burst out with the answer
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Serious shouting voice.....A. Alex Mcleish.....
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
B)
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See when ye get they wee competitions on the telly? For example on Scotsport SPL ye get the (pishy) Dream Ticket competition where ye have tae answer a bollocks-easy question with a choice of 3 answers:
Sample Question:
Who recently replaced Walter Smith as Scotland Manager?
A. Alex McLeish B. Craig Brown C. Berti Vogts
The one thing that actually gets me to the point of rage is when people shout the answer out, especially when they say it in a serious voice in an attempt to make themselves look a wee bit intelligent
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5 True Statements About Yourself...
in Top Fives
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