[Garden Options]

The Gray Ghost has a wee query if anyone can help. He has a small garden, made up of a tiny lawn (a few square metres) and some flower beds. There is a wee garden strimmer for cutting the grass, but The Gray Ghost has found that this doesnt give a nice even cut, and over the years has made the lawn look all scrappy.

So The Gray Ghosts query is twofold. Firstly, can anyone recommend a lawnmower? A full size petrol or electric one would be overkill as its for such a small area, does anyone know of a small one, or even a manual push mower that gives a smooth and even cut?

Secondly, the lawn is all unevenly growing, with weeds n shit and bald patches. Can anyone recommend a good way to repair the lawn and make it lovely once more?

All help much appreciated!

Clicky

That'll give you a nice even finish.

[Garden Options]

Stop just arguing for the sake of it.

I'm not - I'm trying to save you from the green-fingered mafia. They'll never accept you anyway with your poxy window box. Sure, they'll encourage you in public but once your back's turned there will be "my carrots shit on her carrots" whispers.

Fantastic, you can spare me a small corner to grow produce on then!

I'd sooner have wind turbines.

[Garden Options]

Aye, but as I was saying, I've no way of securing boxes to the window ledges, and since I don't really want to be sued, I'd rather not run the risk of concussing some poor sod walking past.

Partick is definitely worse and my knickers are far from grumpy.

How does everyone else secure their window box to their window ledge? I have a suspicion your heart's not really in it. You're happy to embrace consumer culture, but don't want to be seen to turn your back on the burgeoning home grown movement that's crowing about its "achievements" here.

stick a wind farm on it

Over my dead body! I know the difference between exploiting natural resources and being exploited for them.

If you say so. Not worth it in your opinion, definitely worth it in mine.

See, that's why I don't like disagreeing with you. It's like dealing with a huffy teenager whose only response to logic is to restate their opinion. I don't think your heart's in it either, I think you secretly agree with me.

[Garden Options]

You don't have a garden

I own 290 acres of land!!!

You're a right contrary sod, you. If she said growing your own was shit, you'd have argued for it!

I'm just jealous because I actually don't have a garden, or even anywhere to stick a window box.

Call me a rebel, but I'd have thought a window ledge might have been a possibility for a window box? I actually grew poatoes once in a window box on the top floor of a tenement when I lived in Partick. I don't know which is worse, my brief foray into growing my own veg or having lived in Partick?

And I'm not at all contrary. You're confusing me with someone else - and not for the first time either grumpy knickers

I enjoy gardening and the crop tastes a hundred times better than the mass-produced stuff you buy in supermarkets in my opinion.

I never like to disagree with you, but when someone resorts to "hundred times" exagerations, it's a sure sign that their argument is on dodgy ground. I'll give you "marginally better" if you'll give me "so not worth it".

[Garden Options]

Home grown really is the dog's nads.

Only if you're unaware of the price of veg in your local supermarket.

A simple comparison of the costs of buying veg and the total costs and effort of growing it show that it's just something you do for the sake of it. Why anyone would engage in such a dull, backbreaking pastime is beyond me. Not to mention that with the various trips to the garden centre for such small returns, a home grown carrot probably has a bigger carbon footprint pound for pound than a jumbo jet. Forget the hype and the shallow quest for a "sense of achievement", growing your own veg belongs in an era no further back than when we were fighting Nazi Germany.

[The Most Boring Poster On P&b]

I thought it had already been decided by Dundee fans and Sectarian apologists that I was the most boring poster?

[Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...]

Also, I just received a chain email asking recipients to forward it on to help the 14 month old girl pictured in the email, who it states has survived a fire and is in a pretty bad state - her face is badly burned. This child is the same age as my baby and it really hit home - had me in tears, I want to make the poor child all better. Failing that I just want to pick her up and hug her.

Better option would be to go and slap whoever sent you the email. Clicky.

[The Happy Birthday Thread]

Happy birthday to the ultimate coffin dodger.........

........the union!

Oh, and happy birthday to anyone here who's birthday it is today and got all excited to see this thread coming back to the top. I don't have any idea where you find out who's birthday it is!

[Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...]

Found it!

Ruggy, it's not called the "nags" thread anymore!!!!!

Swampy, why exactly is it not "correct English"? Are you saying we have to speak English like the English do in order to be considered proper? Is American English incorrect? Are we in Scotland to adopt "spiffing" and drop "fucking magic by the way" from our vocabulary? And since when did you become the champion of anglicising the Scots?