Allan Jacobsen

This ref is an uproarious dimwit.

Poem by R.Sole more like...

Your ambulance siren's broken.

Well spotted. I shall amend accordingly.

I agree with this.

I think Mercedes drivers are the worst. Usually driven by arseholes that hog the overtaking lane on a motorway at 60mph and then can't decide whether to pull in and let the traffic by or not. This results in them weaving* between the two lanes and scaring the shit out of everyone. VW drivers are becoming fannies too although Seat drivers are making a late bid for fannydom. I drive an Audi and I always make sure to indicate because I am a considerate, albeit passionate, driver. That and I hate people that don't indicate. Or fail to use the roundabout appropriately. *by weaving, I mean they don't actually make it into the 'crawler' lane. They go halfway across the dotted line and then swerve back into the overtaking lane just in case. Also people that brake for no reason.

Terrific hang time.

Manolo Gabbiadini is an absolute idiot. The only out-and-out striker is out for several months and he, the replacement for Milik, decides to petulantly boot someone on the thigh and probably be out for the next 3 games at least. Idiocy.

So many things wrong with that picture and caption...

Heidenheim are having a tremendous season so far. They're currently in second place behind Eintracht Braunschweig although both H96 and Union Berlin could overtake them tomorrow with victories in their respective games. Looks like their success is being based on their defence this season. Only 5 conceded so far. That and Frank Schmidt is tremendous

It wasn't that bad. I don't mind Methadone Mick - I quite liked the talking letterbox line.

Awful character. Haven't watched this week's one yet but looking at the comments on here, it seems to have been OK and nothing more.

Fined but allowed to keep captaincy: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/37683370