Weesiecodal

So, StandFree has eh? Can you provide a few more details about this please? Did you mean to cleverly include the use of sheep here? Is "lump" a unit of measurement? Or is sheep spunk actually a solid mass? Can you provide pictures maybe? (Nothing too racy you understand, in case of under 18s reading) Thanks. Cannae wait

Why are reporters "across" news stories? That doesn't even make sense. "So, Chris, you've been across this situation over the last week, what can you tell us about today's events?" WHAT THE EVEN f**k???

When I was wee, we knew folk called Kinnell. One of them got called Fuh. Took me years to work out what that was all about. eta..... To be fair, I don't think that name was on the birth certificate

Big stupid beards

Steel toecaps?

Pocahontas McBride will be about 18 years old now, so may well gave decided to be called something totally different

Ah now, Did you know that said George Robertson has the corners of his mouth sewn up as a child to stop him telling lies? His mother told him that if he continued to tell lies, more and more would be sewn up until his gub was completely shut. This is why he has such a wee mooth. Unfortunately, he became a politician, so the whole lying thing continued

I got a couple of books for Christmas. Finished Stephen King's Revival last night....... Meh. I used to love his early stuff. I remember when he issued The Green Mile in wee novellas, one a month for 6 months. I'd jump on the train to Dundee and be outside waterstones for it opening. I loved The Stand, Pet Sematary, Christine, It and even his books of short stories. For me, he kinda started losing his edge around Delores Claiborne and since then he just hasn't got it back. I still read most of his books, but they just aren't as un-put-downable as the early ones. They're still decent enough but just not great. I really rate his Dark Tower series though. Just started the other book, Downfall, how Rangers fc self-destructed, by Phil Mac Giolla Bhain (Is that pronounced McGillivan?) It's shaping up to be a good read, but it's too subjective, coming too much from a celtic point of view. (Anti Irish, anti catholic) I hate both sides equally, so for me, I would be enjoying it more if it was more objective, but Ive just started it so it might improve as it goes on ETA a better read could well be the reviews of "downfall" on Amazon.... I think it's reasonably clear to see who supports which side ????

Or when someone is drying the dishes and they dry the pots first, soaking the dish towel for the rest of the dishes....... Rage

Broth is the shortened version of the term braw thick soup

Aye, and if you click on the original link, you'll find that the fuckin thing was found 3 days ago! Erses

A smelly cock eh? No wonder you're distresseduke

To be honest, that was one of his more gracious post match interviews on Saturday! I really like Jackie as a manager, and he's done better with our group of players than I ever hoped for at the start of the season, but he really does p*ss me off with his moaning and greeting post match when we get beaten............ I long for the day when he has a nice, dignified, Stuart McCall-esque post match interview when he just admits that United were beaten by a better team on the day. Instead, we get greetin about the Ref making wrong decisions, and the pitch being bobbly, and the opposition wearing the wrong aftershave etc etc...... Similar to another fairly high profile whining manager who is classless and disrespectful of the opposition

Really? It's the end of a season. They have had a better season than most of us regular attenders at Tannadice had hoped for. Most of us probably expected a bottom 6 finish this year. They've achieved fourth place in the league, got to the scottish cup final and have a great team to build on next season. I, for one, don't grudge the lads a night out on the lash. They're not rubbing our faces in it. They're not disrespecting us. They put in 100% effort yesterday, it just wasn't our day. St. Johnstone players were on form, they took their chances, their tactics were spot on, and they beat us fairly and squarely. It won't make me think twice about renewing my season ticket How many of us go out for a few drinks when we break off on holiday?

Funny how the atmosphere from different parts of the ground gives a different impression. From where we were ( in the corner of the Lisbon lions and north Stands) the atmosphere was great. United fans were chanting and singing non stop, and we never heard the saints fans at all til after their second goal went in, when we totally shut up. The only thing was the sound was pretty poor. When a chant or song started in the Lisbon lions, and the north stand joined in, they seemed totally out of time with each other. I thought it was really poor that United fans didn't stay to watch Saints lift the cup, and as for the wheens of folk who left before the end...... That's bad enough at any regular match, but a cup final? Jist Naw!!! Another thing I thought was poor was the camera on McKays chest which showed the scenes as they lifted the cup. Why the hell did they not have the podium directly opposite the saints fans, so you could see them going mental as the cup was lifted? I know it was opposite the gantry, but cameras are mobile these days FFS!!! Instead, we got a view of half a dozen united fans. That was rubbish.

Wotherspoons run through the united players today was a touch of class. It was a shame for him ( but lucky for us) that he didn't quite have the legs to finish it. Watched it again on Sportscene and it was fantastic skill. He really is a talent

Cheers. It is indeed...... just a wee ditty I threw together at stupid o'clock when I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep.

Cup Final day has rolled around, We're Glasgow bound, it's true. Parkhead today will be awash with Tangerine and blue. United are the bookies tip To win the Scottish Cup. But Tommy Wright, and Stevie May, Will hope to muck that up. We've met this season in the league Four times; no less, no more. In three of these games, Saints have won United never scored! The first time though, was magical United were on form, They hit the net not once, not twice But four times (t'was the norm). We're hoping for a full replay Of that game here today That GMS, and Ranks and Pates Will dominate the play. Nadir and Gauldy, Stretch and Keith, Will run out with finesse They'll kick the butts of Spoony, Cregg Iwelumo, and the rest. The fans meanwhile, will all be there With voices loud and strong. They'll cheer their teams most silky skills And hope they do no wrong. They'll stay until the bitter end Let's hope there is no draw For extra time and penalties, Will no be very braw. An even game is promised From the time the whistle sounds. The ball will go from end to end, Of Parkhead's football ground. Jackie Mac will have prepared United's best eleven. To start the game with grace and style To score six goals, or seven. But even if St Johnstone win I'll not be devastated. Perth and Saintees have done well They should be highly rated. A great day will be had by all On both sides of the park. Let's hope the party carries on From morning until dark. I hope United bring the Cup To Tannadice tomorrow, And Saintees fans will be at home With heads bowed down in sorrow.

Just listened to the preview.......... You're right

Cheers

Did you have to buy it to listen to it? I'm wondering if it's worth even 79p?

United's cup final preparations continued today with a group hypnotherapy session. A spokesman for the club said "given the fact that our best performances this season have been against Motherwell, and our worst displays have been against St Johnstone, we felt that it was crucial to make sure the lads were in the right frame of mind for the upcoming Cup Final, so we decided that a hypnotherapist could help out. So when the boys run out, they'll believe they're playing Motherwell. So now the cup's in the bag, we're off down the pub"

Nah, not the shoes

I don't feel any of the dread I felt before the semi - The fear that Rangers might beat us if we played as shite as we have several times this season. I'm really looking forward to the Final. It's wide open. One minute I feel Saints will win given that they really have the measure of us this season and have pumped us twice and won a third game. Our worst performances this season have been against Saints and a lot of that is because they stopped United playing. The next minute, I'm confident that we can beat anybody on the day, and that the slick, professional United will turn up for the occasion. Either way, I'm going to enjoy it. Obviously I'll be gutted if United lose, but in all honesty, I'd be happy to see St Johnstone win. It would be great for Perth, and one in the eye for all these crowd wankers who bleat about our wee fan bases. I think the atmosphere in Glasgow will be great, much like the 2010 final against Ross County. No trouble, no animosity, just a bunch of football fans having a bloody good day. Despite all that though......... MON THE SHED!!!!

Are you the groom? If so, I think she will