Reverend I.M. Jolly

Gutted for big Deansy, by the way. Quality boay. It'll no' be the same without him, Ging' and Shagger.

Aye, awright. You'll fuckin' get your money mate...

Anyone fancy a blue-nun afterwards? (Seriously: a lager or soft-drink of one's choice).

I'll play, son. 9PM is it?

Count me as one of those. Work has me up North today and I won't be back - even in Cumbernauld - until 9PM+. Sorry lads. I'll keep you posted on next week.

I'm catching my breath just contemplating it... But I'll play. Nine, is it?

Didn't happen. I'm in a better place now (the Kirk). It's fine to be raging about me constantly branding you a paedophile in public. Listen, I'd be pissed off too. Ya fuckin' beast.

Oh... That will be a laugh. And what of Mrs McCandlish, the coalman's wife?

What time is Sao Paulo? Erh, Kick-Off?

My fitness is more ecclesiastical in its variety but I'll play if you need a man. Six O'Clock mass is getting on my...