The Ghost of B A R P

Kyle Thomson revs up the Mystery Machine and fucks off back to Chicago... one down, (hopefully) two or three to come (although Robert Thomson looking less likely to be one of them with Oliver injured). I want Finns, basically.

Fa’kirk BoD: There have been allegations of racist abuse against one of our players (and people have said bad things about us as well). Bairnardo: It’s aw thae Morton fans’ fault...

Just realised I missed Scott F. Tiffoney out of the above review... how the f**k could that have happened?

Square go, ya c**t...

Nae luck, mate. Life can be tough, but you just have to find a way to keep going... Maybe in the next life...

That fuckin statement... BoD v. fans never gonnae end well.

January approaches, no idea if we have any money to spend, but surely Johansson signed on the basis that he would get to put his own stamp on the squad? Most agree that the squad is unbalanced, but there doesn’t seem to be much agreement about individual players or priorities. Here’s my assessment of individuals so far... weigh right in: Gaston - better than Scully Scully - not as good as Gaston. I’d be quite happy to see him go. Tumilty - one of many who frustrates. Sometimes looks pretty accomplished, but doesn’t contribute enough and seems to start games very nervously. Definitely need another option in his position. Kilday - I’m not saying he’s done at this level, but he definitely _looks_ done at this level at the moment. Buchanan - belongs in the ‘frustrating’ group. Every time I think maybe we’ve signed a big, dominant centre-half, he goes all nervy and hoofball. Needs to settle, because the back line depends heavily on the player in that position. Waddell - young and a wee bit variable, but the quality is obvious. In addition to being able to play, he often does extravagant things like winning tackles and headers, which this slightly soft Morton team don’t seem that keen on. Iredale - I like him a lot as a wing-back. A bit sad, though, that a left wing-back is often our best attacking option. McKeown - Massively inconsistent. Have a feeling he might not see out the season with us. McAlister - probably going to divide opinion. No doubts about his effort and he should get credit for doing the dull stuff, but he just hasn’t looked like a guy who’s played at a higher level. I thought he’d have more influence on games. Tidser - most important player in the team, simple as that. Millar - quality is obvious and, like McAlister, the attitude is great. Not quite sure yet where he should be playing: alongside Tidser instead of Telfer? Or deeper instead of McAlister? Telfer - obvious ability, but very lightweight. Kind of player that might flourish in a better, more confident team... but slight concerns about him if we get dragged into a scrap. Never a wide player. Oliver - most frustrating player in the squad. Flashes of ability and intelligence outweighed by the fact that he either can’t or won’t compete physically... and most definitely doesn’t ‘have a goal in him’. I’ve just about given up on him, tbh. McShug - far from perfect, but will score if played in a two. Johnstone might be the partner for him if we can get him fit, but he would thrive alongside someone with pace and/or physical presence (so not Oliver). McLean - decent player, one of the few who runs direct at opponents, but has looked like a fish out of water since we went to a 3-5-2. I’d probably rather see him alongside McShug than Oliver, but he’s not the answer. Might be away? Johnstone, Thomson, and Bell haven’t played enough to really comment on, but only Johnstone, unless he’s crocked, inspires any confidence. Of the young players, Strapp and Lyon have shown enough to be considered squad options. Priorities for me, then, in order: 1. A forward who can play alongside McShug (or Johnstone). 2. Two defenders, one for RB/RWB as cover or first choice, the other for CB, ideally as first choice. 3. Another midfield option, with pace/mobility/muscle. McKeown, Bell, Thomson, McLean (and the mystery that is Kyle Thomson) away to fund it? (Scully, Kilday, Oliver could join them without tears. But don’t expect that to happen).

You’re supporting the right team, then. Enjoy.

Aye, really rattled by you lot losing to Stenny. Definitely rattled. Only word there is to describe it.

Oohya fucker... rid dots aff the Fa’kirk Ladz cos they got beat and because their manager’s a c**t... Salty as it gets... Enjoy your night, lads.

Not very philosophical, that...

You need to take a broad philosophical view of these things... maybe it isn’t. Ever.

Not quite what I had in mind... Mid-table must look like Serie A from where you guys are looking...

That's still to come, mate...

This is almost as bad as waiting for Bob McShug to pop up with a late winner against an absolute dugmeat 10-men managed by a rat c**t...

Christ, that was quick... OK, next... hope to f**k Fa’kirk get relegated (and liquidated)...

Player. We'd be concerned he might be taken back in January... hope to f**k not.

Green dot for the second bit of your signature. f**k the fitba.

My point was really that, without knowing what individuals are paid, it's impossible to make a judgement about what should have been done. K. Thomson might be on pennies, but that's all part of the mystery. If he's on anything like a standard full-time wage, McKinnon has royally fucked it. We'll find out in January if, as expected, he's released: will Johansson want to bring in another midfield option? And will there be cash to do that? Four players to cover three positions (if we're always going to play three central, which looks likely) is thin... but then not as thin as six players to cover five positions across the back.

The K. Thomson signing is one for Scooby Doo and his wee pals... an utter mystery. I can only assume that, seeing him with the other players at training on a regular basis, they’ve come to the conclusion that he’s nowhere near good enough. Don’t want to retread the whole Andy Murdoch thing, but I’d love to know the cash difference between what we’ve been paying Thomson and what Murdoch would have signed back on for... the answer to that should be submitted as evidence at the trial of that fuckin rat McKinnon... and if we’re talking a couple of hundred quid, the sentence should be death.

That’s right... we were so lacking in wide players/pace and over-supplied with forwards/centre-mids of one kind or another that 3-5-2 was maybe the only answer. Unbalanced. And having six players to cover five positions across the back now that we’ve done it remains pretty badly unbalanced (I gave someone pelters for suggesting Scott F. Tiffoney at wing back... wee knock to Tumilty and it could happen). Pray for Kerr Waddell (and that Johansson has a wee something up his sleeve for January).

Two managers, two goalkeepers, every formation in the book, wildly unbalanced squad, hardly any pace, legions of injured 'strikers', haven't actually 'played well' at any stage... and we're fourth! Fourth, I tell you... Love this fuckin club.

It's all a matter of public record. If you ask Dunning nicely, he'll maybe slowly read it for you. Scuse, no parliamo Sevco... (E scuse a Signore Kinnear per aver rotto l'accordo...)

Denied promotion twice, second time we were denied a ground share. Both stadium criteria and ground sharing criteria were changed the following season. Not to mention your former financier Masterton calling in an overdraft in an attempt to shit can us. Scuse, no parliamo Sevco. OK, deal.

Too lenient...