The Ghost of B A R P

Don't worry about Dunfermline, just make sure you get Falkirk belted on the 29th... Morton Fans + Jim Goodwin = True Love By Both

*Imagining Goodwin in the role of the old duffer* Door in splinters (cue avalanche of Ainsley Harriet/Alex Salmond gifs from the Morton brethren...)

Trying to find out where Froxy had his lunch m8. So if you wouldnt mind fucking off...... Who is this 'Froxy'? Tell him to forget 'lunch'... his tea's oot in Alloa end of the month...

Some of you Fa'kirk ladz, rightly, talking about how important the first win is... not saying you won't get it against Ayr (although doubt it), no way of saying what happens in any given game against Dundee Utd... but then you go to Alloa on the 29th... Mark the date: whole season will be on it if you're going in with 0 or 1 point... Feck, whole season will probably be on it anyway. The spectacle of us Morton fans rooting for that fine exponent of silky midfield play and defender of the honour of the Murn will be truly bonkers... but hey, needs must... Step forward Jim Goodwin, Man of the Season in waiting...

Sense breaks out in the Fa'kirk ranks... Big question is: will you have the money to bring in 6 or 7 in January? Let's hope there are no lingering compensation wrangles with former managers or other clubs, eh?

Now that's broken. Utterly broken. In September.

Need to suck it up, mate... only thing that looks broken at the moment is your club. Still, there's only four months until January (overheard conversation between Jordan McGhee and his agent...).

Reports McKinnon won't make it to today's game... car trouble apparently...

Aye, but when you're a ghost -- and of an isolated body part, no even a whole person, like -- decades and stuff like that don't matter. Get back to me when you've got some points to deduct.

We're no the Midden, we're the Ton...

You've lost me, mate... seriously... The pitch -- and the view -- are the best things about Cappielow...

Hadn't thought of that... but that is a fucking brilliant idea... You could play all four games against us at Cappielow...

Artificial surfaces should definitely be banned from the second tier of professional football in Scotland. Decision could reviewed at the end of this season, if it turns out to be necessary.

So at least we're now a wee bit more interesting than we were last week... Calm and intelligence don't necessarily guarantee someone's gonnae be a good manager, but they're far preferable to what that last guy had (not to mention the cast of ghouls and dinosaurs we might have got...). I thought Hopkin would be a 'with a single bound' type of appointment and that he would have made us harder to beat, possibly enough to get us into contention for play-offs. Impossible to say what we'll look like under Johansson, but I think it's a good thing that _some_ of the pressure will be off. If he stabilises things, keeps us reasonably competitive, and we play decent football, no one's gonnae be jumping up and down demanding he get us up (are they...?). Basic reality is the squad he inherits, for now at least: there's good experience and a lot of technical ability for this level -- a lot. But we're definitely lacking a bit of pace/athleticism, especially middle to front. I don't mean the 'we can't play Millar-McAlister-Tidser together' crap... we sure can, that's what a central three is all about; but the wide midfield/attacking roles in that set-up are a worry. You'd ideally want three guys who can make an impact there (two to start, one to come on), working as midfielders when we're out of possession, but getting at people and supporting Johnstone when we're on the ball. As far as I can see, we've only got one - McLean. McHugh won't do out there, Tiffoney's desperate back-up, haven't seen Bell play. Puts a lot of pressure on the full-backs to get forward and change it; will be interesting to see how Johansson wants those two to play. Anyway, what a weird feckin week... shame we don't have a game. Fa'kirk playing by any chance...?

OK, one last time... If Falkirk had asked for permission on the Monday, Rae would have asked, eh, Ray (see I'm playing nice now we've replaced the c*nt) if he wanted to speak to them. If Rae is faced with the reality that Ray wants to go -- and it probably doesn't take more than 48 hours to come to that point, cannae keep a guy who doesn't want to be there sort of thing -- he enters negotiations with Falkirk, which -- and here I'm speculating off ma tits -- probably ends in a 30k kinda settlement (for the pair)... ma granny could nonce Morton in a negotiation, so 30K might be generous... Falkirk announce their new manager, Ray says how difficult a decision it was, but he just couldn't turn down the opportunity (and even speaks to at least the players he's only just feckin signed...); you guys wet your knickers at big-teaming the diddies, etc, etc. Instead... Falkirk are liable for compensation they might not get to set... and 'Ray' is damaged goods... See you fun-loving loonballs on 20th October... But before I go: MON THE F**KIN TON

By waiting till the Sunday or Monday to pick up the phone... Anyway, we've got other things to think about. See ya.

Thanks... kind words. Blending bitter and raging seethe and straightforward common sense is not easy, I tell you...

You are the People? Who knew, eh?

Disnae know Might have made more sense to avoid that inevitable defeat, pick up the following week into the international break, give us a few days to accept the inevitable? Whatever you think of Rae's response, Falkirk BoD have royally fucked this up and given themselves a problem they could easily have avoided. As for RMcC (that's short for Rat McC*nto, btw), Arbroath or back to Brechin after a wee 'break from football' from March 2019 surely beckon...

Can one of you clever Falkirk Men explain why your BoD was so desperate to get McC*nto _that Friday_, as opposed to mebbe the Monday... or some time later the next week? Falkirk want him, McC*unto wants to go, so he goes, soon-ish... Why insist on doing it in a way that makes c*nts of yourselves and him in the process?

Same guy who was intimately involved in the 'negotiations'? Hospitality package for him, free bar, the lot...

Eh, no you won't... that is the only point that's being missed. Ye've f**ked it and yer gonnae huv tae pay... Quick poll for fans of other clubs: how should the Fa'kirk pay? 1. Compensation? 2. Compensation and relegation? 3. Compensation, relegation, quickly followed by administration?

Oh my... Rat McC*nto... lying through his desperate teeth My oh my... Falkirk... more financial liabilities... The big question is, though: who was that brave journalist who informed Rat Boy within 45 minutes of Rae hearing from Falkirk?

It's all about timing... was nearly right for Hopkin to Cappielow, but sliding doors an a' that... The idea that he's gone to Bradford is 'proof' of anything is just daft; timing for that one just fell right and only a saint would have said 'naw, this might be my only chance to manage Morton'... we'll no doubt see what kind of a manger he is in a tough league with _lots_ of cash flying around (and a headcase chairman, by all accounts). We are now officially in difficulties and it looks as though it might be time to go left field... but TGoBARP, of sound mind and in full possession of his fitba faculties, is still glad we're rid of that Rat C**t M******** MON THE F**KIN TON

Theres an ex buddy manager available who would suit yous he disnae stay in a job long either or is that just the area you stay in We harbour legitimate fears that he may not be of the requisite quality...