Eric Paterson

not this one.

https://www.facebook.com/eric.paterson.77964 add me on fb bro

https://www.facebook.com/eric.paterson.77964 add me on fb bro.

Same bro

You're a lard arsed hoor.

Wonder why? I've been married eight times now.

You sound like someone who's never been married. Comparing marriage to football is idiotic. How exactly is having been married seven times a failure? Having that many wives has been great.

Why do you question my credibility? How many times have you been married? What age are you?

I've been married seven times. Bet you aren't even on your third marriage.

Jokes on u. I'm not married.

How do you reduce the pressure in your boiler?

I am actually a very well respected dentist. You have something in your teeth.

Which actors would play each P&B member in the P&B? And should it be a musical?

My cousin scored Scotland's first ever competitive goal.

My friend Gerald Rafferty has an abnormally long neck, which has led to him being nicknamed Giraffe (or G-Raff). Does anyone else know of any funny nicknames they would like to share?

My grandad designed the original space shuttle but some Americans stole his designs and shot him with a toxic dart -which is most definitely NOT Cockney rhyming slang for "fart". He pulled the dart out and kept it in a jar on his mantlepiece for about 50 years. How do I go about proving this in a court of law? The evidence was destroyed. I threw the dart at a dartboard and it basically disintegrated on inpact. I don't even know what "toxin" was in it.

Yes.

Jokes on you. I have a mac AND a PC. And I'm having macaroni cheese for dinner. While dressed as a police constable.

I am curious to know if anyone has ever fallen for any of those scamming posts that occasionally get posted on here. Has anyone fallen victim to such a scheme?

My friend Mark Balgetti (he won't mind me using his name, he likes it) buys a completely new set of dishes, crockery and cutlery every few weeks because he uses each item only once than throws it away. Strangely, he drinks out of those refillable water bottles so his apparent plan to waste as much money as possible is deeply flawed.

So, I consulted my good friend Samuel Garcia who is an electrician and an expert on these matters. I have wedged all my doors open and turned the electricity off. I was previously advised by the renowned psychic medium Mario McKintyre to urinate in the corners of every room in the house in order to purify the house but that didn't seem to work and now my whole house reeks of pish.

Hi all, There is a ghost in my house that keeps opening and closing doors as well as flicking light switches on and off. How do I make it go away?

He shit his pants when Morelos scored there.

Why does Liam Macleod always talk as if he's seeing ghosts?

Na I wanted actors, not extras. Deal. I asked him but he's too busy trying to create unity by being a divisive c**t. His loss. Yes. Can you meow? I would have used a real cat, but I'm actually allergic.