dylandog

Some good suggestions there. However I would maybe shorten the show - I think this is one of the main problems, it is too long. Especially if the guest/s aren't great, it can become a bit of a slog (I seem to remember Derek Riordan on it a while back was like pulling teeth. Also every single time Amy McDonald is on is 'remove all sharp objects from the room' territory). I would love to see a return of calls from listeners. I understand this is maybe out of the Stuart and Tam's hands and is maybe more BBC policy now, but the calls were definitely a highlight - always funny for a variety of reasons, especially picking out the ones who were clearly 'under the influence', and provided some good talking points.

Sorry Tam

Had an account on here years ago but new email account, password etc etc blah blah so decided to start a new account. Listened to Off The Ball a few weeks back in which this thread was mentioned, the episode where Div was on, and I decided to contribute. Like a lot of people contributing to this thread, I was a long-time listener to Off The Ball and found it essential listening for many years, particularly through the ‘90s and the first decade of this century. For me a real low turning point was around 10 years ago when they had Gok Wan on the show – this just seemed a real departure and something quite different, and the start of having guests having no idea or interest in Scottish football. Tam in particular went on to reference the Gok Wan episode pretty much every week for the next 5 or 6 years. Despite being a dedicated listener for many years I really feel it has gone downhill a lot the last few years and I feel really like I’m only still listening out of a sense of loyalty and duty. Whereas in the past it was essential listening, it just feels mostly like background noise now. First of all the so-called ‘tropes’ - I’m a couple of episodes behind, and the one I am listening to right now has mentioned St Johnstone winning the cup, Motherwell winning the cup, Davie Cooper and Tam mentioning ‘tropes’ - all in the first 5 minutes. The regular tropes off the top of my head include: - Motherwell winning the cup in 1991 (this takes up so much time of every single episode) - St Johnstone winning the cup - How Davie Cooper ‘pound for pound’ is the best bargain in Scottish football history - How Paul Daniels saved Tam’s life - The woman who got bovril all over her face after being hit by the ball at Brechin (apparently, Tam can still hear her screams to this day, so I’ve heard) - Lorenzo Amoruso’s manhood (this is every single episode – seriously, when did Amoruso last even have anything to do with Scottish football?) - The contestant on 15 to 1 who gave ‘Mexico’ pronounced in a funny way as an answer (admittedly Tam tells it in a funny way – but how many times over the years has this story been told?) - JFK moment - The scheme you grew up on Are there any more that I can’t remember off the top of my head right now? A year or two ago they went through all the Off The Ball tropes and agreed not to talk about them anymore – I think that plan maybe lasted about 2 weeks? Cosgrove – I’ve always had a massive respect for Stuart – he’s clearly an incredibly well-informed guy and good writer, and I agree with a lot of his views. But I’m getting really sick of him imposing soul and motown on us every week and telling us how great it is. It’s getting more and more every week. It just feels like a crusade to convert every single listener. Just give him a soul and motown radio show, for goodness sake! In addition this has seen an increase in his utter disdain and intolerance for almost any other song or genre that gets played – he seems to be getting more narrow-minded with music and just dismissive of anything that isn’t of his personal choosing. For example a couple of months back ‘Happy Hour’ by the Housemartins got played – at the end he uttered the words ‘that was Happy Hour by the Housemartins’ with an unbelievable amount of utter contempt, and such utter disdain, through gritted teeth, you could almost hear his teeth grinding – before swiftly moving on to the next topic, minus the usual enthusiasm and 5 minute backstory we get after every single soul and motown song. He just seems to sulk and take it as a personal affront whenever a track that isn’t soul or motown gets played. Another thing is the way he pretends to know absolutely nothing about English football. Not saying he should have an encyclopaedic knowledge of course, it is essentially a Scottish football show after all, but the way he feigns total ignorance is embarrassing. He would claim not know which club’s nickname is the Red Devils or what colours Newcastle play in purely to prove a point. It’s embarassing and cringeworthy. However, if there is a guest who perhaps played in England and makes reference to it with specific points, Stuart’s knowledge of English football suddenly goes right up. The way he claims to hate nostalgia and reminiscing is of course utter nonsense too – he’s always harking back to the St Johnstone days of old and his experiences in the USA, and of course musically. Cowan – I’m not going to bother going into his music taste as it is so appalling that I think, as a lot of people have mentioned here, it’s purely attention seeking and to get a reaction. His repeated phrases are starting to get completely out of hand. Of course Motherwell ‘91 and Davie Cooper will be mentioned every couple of minutes, but it’s the little phrases he continuously resorts to that are just as irritating: - “That works a treat” - “Put some meat on the bone” - “Every penny’s a prisoner” - “Pound for pound” At least when Cosgrove was confronted with his “fantastic, ye cannae beat it” catchphrase he took it on board and doesn’t really use it anymore. Someone needs to do the same for Tam – if you played a drinking game where you took a shot every time he uttered those 4 phrases, you’d be dead by the end of the weekend. After all that, it seems odd I maybe still listen to Off The Ball. As I say, maybe it’s still out of a sense of loyalty and duty – I grew up with Stuart and Tam, and still have a lot of love for them, despite all the things that irritate me that I mentioned above. Also the show does still genuinely make me laugh from time to time. I just think it feels tired and repetitive – maybe it’s too long now? 2 hours in the afternoon, and another 2 or 1.5 hours in the evening or Sunday – it’s too much. Also the alternatives are far worse. Si Ferry and his wilfully ignorant, village idiot pal, the odious “Slaney” and his equally barely-literate “Big” Kevin Kyle and their epic bantz and every third word “mate” or “pal” are just utter torture. It’s just horrible, laddish nonsense. Sorry for the length of the ‘rant’ - been meaning to get all that off my chest for a while! In a nutshell, where Off The Ball will always be very dear to me, and I will still listen, it’s without the same enthusiasm as before. As I said it feels tired and repetitive but still raises a laugh from time to time.