MEADOWXI Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 We were having system issues today. During the conference call convened to find a the problem and fix it, someone piped up that we should look for commonality. I think I'm still looking. Dynamic Reconciliation would have fixed it. Along with Continuous Improvement. Then you could get stuck into the Chocolate Box at the End of Play. Turns out that it was there was a flap in the core handoff with Colt facing Mux during the time of the incident. Forget Corporate speak, tech speak is where it's at! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Turns out that it was Forget Corporate speak, tech speak is where it's at! Let's have a hackathon.(Let's not, unless it involves me hacking you to death) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTG Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 There was a job advert circulated in my organisation today for a 'Scrum Master'. You're back on Agile world I'm afraid. Nae luck. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Had a meeting today about unpacking objectives and drilling down. c***s. If you'd said "drilling objectives" and "packing down" they'd have all nodded sagely. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 There was a job advert circulated in my organisation today for a 'Scrum Master'.Saw a job advertised the other day for "Data Scientist & Storyteller". Looks like my recent experience of reading bedtime stories to my kids will pay off! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Bairn Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 There was a job advert circulated in my organisation today for a 'Scrum Master'. Greig Laidlaw, Matt Dawson, George Gregan etc 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
die hard doonhamer Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Saw notes on one of our systems today where one of our technicians said they were going to "lock down" an appointment with the customer. What's wrong with saying arrange, or book in? Just f**k off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Some boy sent out an email to the area saying that he'll effectively grass folk in who don't "action" one specific thing that we're all supposed to do pretty much daily. Last week, the same boy was the only person not to do that one thing. Pleasing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black and White Tragic Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 This americanism "reach out" when "contact" would suffice does my head in. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 (edited) I was composing an email to a "stakeholder" advising them that I wouldn't be able to look at their query until late next week as I was "under the pump" with other high priority work. When I was proof reading the email before sending I noticed that bit, gave myself a boot in the pie and changed it to "busy". Be careful everyone, this evil is infiltrating into our DNA... Edited May 13, 2016 by Swarley 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 I was composing an email to a "stakeholder" advising them that I wouldn't be able to look at their query until late next week as I was "under the pump" with other high priority work. When I was proof reading the email before sending I noticed that bit, gave myself a boot in the pie and changed it to "busy". Be careful everyone, this evil is infiltrating into our DNA... It's all part of your "continual personal mainframe database upgrading". Be careful out there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin_3110 Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 (edited) Had a meeting today about unpacking objectives and drilling down. c***s. I hope you liased effectively with stakeholders at all levels of the organization. A guy here has just come in a bit earleir than usual and told me it was because the "Traffic is usually scaled down a bit on a Friday". Edited May 13, 2016 by gavin_3110 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 I hope you liased effectively with stakeholders at all levels of the organization. A guy here has just come in a bit earleir than usual and told me it was because the "Traffic is usually scaled down a bit on a Friday". Due to "stakeholders having an off campus status sitituation". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Saw a job advertised the other day for "Data Scientist & Storyteller". Looks like my recent experience of reading bedtime stories to my kids will pay off! Oh dear, I bet your kids groan - "Not another data science story" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Oh dear, I bet your kids groan - "Not another data science story" "If he tells us about the correlation between tenure, engagement and attrition within the Marketing & Product department again I'll scream and scream until I'm sick" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTG Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 I'm reading an update on a piece of data management activity. In the absence of a technical solution at the moment, a clerical solution is in place which will include - and I quote - "manual eyeballing to cleanse the data". Manual eyeballing ffs. Or "look at" if you're not absolutely fucking mental. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 I'm reading an update on a piece of data management activity. In the absence of a technical solution at the moment, a clerical solution is in place which will include - and I quote - "manual eyeballing to cleanse the data". Manual eyeballing ffs. Or "look at" if you're not absolutely fucking mental. Good point. Are there other kinds of eyeballing - for example, automatic eyeballing or remote eyeballing? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 "If he tells us about the correlation between tenure, engagement and attrition within the Marketing & Product department again I'll scream and scream until I'm sick" If this is going to be your attitude to the job, I don't think you should apply. Oops, sorry - this is something you think your kids might say. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Bairn Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Small business owner who is undecided which way to vote in the EU referendum on the 10 o'clock news "My business head sides with remain, but it would be romantic if the United Kingdom pulls up the drawbridge and rows it's own boat for once" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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