DAFC Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 But without meetings how would mangers eat biscuits and suck each other off plan things? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 What did you used to do for a living?... I'm a civil engineer but have worked in the varying soul destroying positions of project management.........I can't even feign interest these days. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Easy Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 Without seeing the inter office/departmental electronic communication in it's entirety, I would hazard a guess that there was an attachment missing, but said attachment was sitting in a file which the sender couldn't access. It was the other person thinking that reports for clients are generated monthly, despite the sales team only going bimonthly. It was his way of saying he thought new reports were saved on the network on a monthly basis. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTG Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 Part of this featured on an old have I got news for you. Deals with some of the shite everyone experiences. http://curriculumvitiate.wordpress.com/the-cv/ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 It was the other person thinking that reports for clients are generated monthly, despite the sales team only going bimonthly. It was his way of saying he thought new reports were saved on the network on a monthly basis. That's certainly a lot simpler and easily understood - no wonder he didn't say it! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 I'm a civil engineer but have worked in the varying soul destroying positions of project management.........I can't even feign interest these days. It should really be re-named "Project Mismanagement", IMO. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 It should really be re-named "Project Mismanagement", IMO. It's becoming more and more like that! I spend my days filling in spreadsheets and producing endless revised programmes of works in the vain hope that 1. my senior management will read and comprehend them and, 2. our labour force and/or sub contractors will achieve. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 In the old days contractors managed. Architects swanned about giving instructions that they wrote out on the back of the proverbial fag packet. Structural engineers were given carte blanche to insist on massive amounts of steel, but nobody else knew enough to suggest that less might do. Similarly consulting engineers got away with over specifying, as again nobody else was too sure of their ground. It was always the quantity surveyors fault (no matter what it was). You could never get hold of anybody on a Friday afternoon because everyone was in the pub. I miss the old days. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I see The Apprentice comes back next week. It'll be just like people on TV reading out this thread. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 Finding working with lean six sigma incredibly restricting and contradictory, Seems like it's getting used as a tool for saving money and showing the company off rather than having any focus on what really matters. The staff and the product. Some of the reasoning is baffling, like having low or zero inventory because having lots of stock hides problems? So do you want lots of problems? A problem is a good thing apparently. Only if some jap said so. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyrshireTon Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 Haven't read all the thread, so apologies if I'm repeating any here. Former boss once said at a meeting " Let's not throw the baby out with the bath water". I just nodded at the time - not a clue what it means. New boss no better - "pushing the envelope" and "going the extra mile" being particular and often repeated favourites. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 Haven't read all the thread, so apologies if I'm repeating any here. Former boss once said at a meeting " Let's not throw the baby out with the bath water". I just nodded at the time - not a clue what it means. New boss no better - "pushing the envelope" and "going the extra mile" being particular and often repeated favourites. Try saying "pushing the extra mile" and "going the envelope". I'm sure nobody will bat an eye. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Todd_is_God Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 From 'the apprentice' last night: "Seed Capital" meaning cash 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rambunctious Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 My work doesn't really seem to be too bad for this corporate language nonsense. The only one I can think of is some people's insistence on using the word "advised" instead of "said" or "told" etc. It's really quite annoying and a lot of the time it doesn't make sense. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buzz Killington Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 "I adviced the client" is a favourite of some of the absolute hatstands I work with. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ira Gaines Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 My work doesn't really seem to be too bad for this corporate language nonsense. The only one I can think of is some people's insistence on using the word "advised" instead of "said" or "told" etc. It's really quite annoying and a lot of the time it doesn't make sense. Mines is the same, other than the use of "this will be communicated" quite a lot. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 I don't really do much, if any, engineering these days but just manage "process" in doing which makes me wish I was dead. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 I've just received this - do the head boys not speak English? I have seen worse, but it could certainly have been written a lot clearer. Share the forward strategy Focus on performance improvement priorities Make connections across the senior management team The two day conference covered slightly different themes. Monday focussed on the business strategy going forward and how we manage internally. Tuesday’s focus was more outward looking with a major emphasis on Clients, together with how we deliver technical best practice and our people. The conference closed with a number of high priority items that will need to be progressed, with each priority allocated to an Executive Committee Sponsor. ● Cash Profiling & Improvement – introducing a higher awareness and consideration of cash profiles during bid preparation and appointment negotiation, a key enable for business growth (Sponsor – ***** ******) ● Corporate Clients – developing the work opportunities that span regions, in addition to focussing on core ‘in region’ business (Sponsor – ***** ******) ● HR Strategy – strategy, consistency and employee engagement (Sponsor – ***** ******) ● Sharing Best Practice – the mechanisms for sharing commercial and technical best practice (Sponsor – ***** ******) The full briefing report is enclosed and we will ensure the progress of each of the above bullet points is communicated to you at key milestone throughout the year. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H_B Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 Police report on David Cameron incident :- "Following the incident, Chief Inspector Derek Hughes of West Yorkshire Police said: ''Around midday, a 28-year-old local man was briefly arrested after he came close to the prime minister's group who had just left the Civic Hall in Leeds. ''No threats were made, and after the man's details were checked, he was de-arrested and allowed on his way.'' 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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