James McFadden article

[Im_Rodger]

Article should have had one sentence stating that McFadden is a c**t. 0.01/10

[tree house tam]

20 hours ago, accies1874 said:

I wrote this for college recently. It’d be great if you could all take a look at it!

https://clydeoutside.com/2017/12/05/whats-next-for-scotland-legend-and-queen-of-the-south-player-james-mcfadden/

Stick to pitch invasions m8.

[Darren]

18 hours ago, killiefan27 said:

Can I offer some (hopefully) constructive criticism?

Some of this echoes what others have said.

Usually one to nine are written out 10 and above are numbers. Also, if you're doing a feature this could be a strong opener if you expanded it a bit. An example off the top of my head.

"It's been more than 10 years since James McFadden scored that wonder goal in Paris. It's a memory indelibly etched in the consciousness of every Scottish football fan. The touch to take it down. The look up. The hit. Pick it out Landreau.

"Now 34, McFadden is plying his trade in the rather less glamorous environs of Palmerston Park, but he's determined to keep on playing."

I realise that's hardly the greatest piece of prose ever written, but it gives it more of a feature-y (nb that isn't a word) style, and gives more of an introduction before just hitting out with the quotes.

Nothing wrong with this, but maybe you could add in a little more detail. Something like "while McFadden is keen to extend his time on the pitch for as long as possible, he's also conscious of the need to make a career for himself when he does hang up his boots. The forward has recently appeared as a Sky Sports pundit for Scotland games, and who better to convey to the viewing public the feeling of sending Hampden into raptures?"

As someone said above, starting a sentence with "he" looks a bit clunky. Also, it might be better to introduce things like the coaching before you have his quote.

You've got him saying "You watch a game differently as a coach", but it's only after that you tell the reader he had a year as a coach with Motherwell. He doesn't say the club or the time frame in his quote, so we need that information before we get his quotes. Same further down with "the manager in question".

You want to build in a narrative for the reader. Take us from that goal in Paris to contemplating the end of his career. It's a journey, and would make a good story.

I hope that doesn't come across as being dismissive, it's not a bad piece at all, just hopefully offering some feedback.

Solid enough advice. It's important to engage the reader and, as you say, take them on a journey. Otherwise the reader can think: Why should I care?

I think it's a bit early to be imparting style guide advice but it differs from publication to publication - some go one to ten then 11 up, 1000 to 9999, 10,000-plus, while others do one to nine, 10 up, 1,000-plus.