Black and White Tragic

Research suggests that if you read this thread for long enough your perception of reality becomes skewed. In rare cases you can turn into a dribbling paranoid mess with the potential to kill loved ones. Be careful out there.

You cannot go blind from masturbation.

Damage

Just send one back with this message... "Outlook has detected Narcissism in an email you recently sent, and has delayed delivery for 24 hours". You'll then get an email from them asking if you received it. They may also mention that it might be infected with the Narcissism virus ;-) They will more than likely flag as important again... To which you should immediately respond again with "Outlook has detected..." Keep this up until the important stops being selected.

Maybe some free reconstructive surgery was the angle, and the reason she plugged the USB cable straight into the wall socket? 53? If Carlsberg made hard paper rounds...

http://www.dunfermlinepress.com/news/14349310.Gran_s_lucky_escape_after_e_cigarette_explodes/ She's now going back to normal cigarettes on account of being "terrified", cause a long lingering death from lung cancer doesn't frighten you?!

Gobbledigook

Trip

Puss

Stripes

Dive

Tenement

Can you please translate before posting? Thanks.

Won't be at school yet, and noted that article wasn't published April 1st... http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4671412/We-called-our-baby-hashtag.html

Ludo

Tic

If you have a boat for swaps I'd think about it?

My missus spends all her spare time binge watching Criminal Minds, Bones, CSI and Prison Break. Should I be concerned?

Summit

Sewage

Ask any child in Dundee and they all have a missing sibling called Dave who was adopted out.

I've heard that in Dundee, they don't stop with Valentine's. They actually buy Mothers Day cards and send them to themselves, with your name on them.

Twister then? Or a pack of cards for strip poker?

I think we will win league in the nail biting last game needing a point and coming from 3-0 down back to 3-3. Crowd 12311. But only 6345 witness the comeback after half time exodus with score at 0-3. That would do. ...or more likely I think only 15 more points required to win league, beginning of April will be done and dusted.

A gorilla prank leads to whether the ISS really exists and/or has ever been populated while in space, to conspiracy theory studies, to moon landings faked, vaccination cover ups and 9/11 fakery. Only. On. Dot. Net. Entertaining all the same. Leave it!!!